Break Ups In Secondlife… It is so common, It should be a warning apon log in.
5 Of my friends have had break ups in Second life in the last 2 months, Most were on the 3 to 4 month mark (right around the time the shiny wears off and the luster dies). Now most of these people are not crazy per say, Well at least I did not THINK so. Some married In real life, some single some just keep that to themselves.
The one common denominator in all these is the emotional Duress, Holy Shit, it was like a Hurricane of Pissed of, anger coinciding with the Flood of hurt and despair. Now I totally understand the complications of a break up, going through one recently, But it is how it is handled that concerns the hell out of me.
Now usually a disagreement, or some type of jealousy is the cause, and I am not saying everyone of my friends were betty ford clean here, But what I did notice was the Profile bashing, and dragging their X’s through the mud.
Case an Point- One of my friends Xs New girlfriend posted a RL picture of her saying this is what happens if your 50 and a drunk, Sad thing is this was 1 month AFTER the break up, You would think after a month things would have calmed down.
another tried to take the Higher road but had something in their profile that may have been considered a bash, and all of a sudden, this X who was so close to them, and Even on their real life face book, threatened to Write their spouse an email.
Another friend on the front of their Profile had the Xs name and “See Pics” with a total bashing of their X on 3 tabs.
One Owns a Bit of land and plastered the pictures of her X “cheating” on them all over.
One had posted stuff all over facebook saying what a Loser that person is/was
Really, I mean really do we have to go to this Level, this is childish at best and only makes things worse. If I have learned one thing, and only one thing about break ups, It is to let them go. the first week is the worst, but still holding onto these negative feelings a Month or so later is just plain Unhealthy.
My Friend IMd me last night Regarding her X and all the Profile stuff, I said, why do you even Look, all you are doing is hurting yourself. In their mind, they “Had” to look at the profile, to check to see what they were saying, doing, if they were happy.
*Knocks On Forehead* …. Hello, Anyone home?
My son knows if you touch the stove while its hot, It Hurts, it Burns and may hurt for a while after, Why because he is smart enough to remember when he did touch the stove, His fingers got burned, it lasted a while, soon it healed the pain went away, He knows NEVER touch the stove.
Heed this simple warning – If your already hurt and choose to dig into someone’s profile try to get information out of their friends or spend your every minute trying to find out who and what they are doing, Emotions will get the best of you and only add to the pain your already harboring, and yes it is going to last a while, But in time, it will get better, and FASTER if you let it go and stop this insane behavior of stalking them.
I am sad to say, One person has quit SL due to one of the break ups – Bottom line is, Life is not fair and nether is second life, Someone reading this may or may not capture a clue and get a few XP points for attempting to not prolong the hurt.
I am by no means a psychiatrist, My 2 classes In Psych in college did not give me a license, but this is common sense, well in my mind it is, Uncommon for many though. My goal in second life is to have fun, to meet new and interesting people and to learn from it. But really I did not come to counsel the broken hearts club, So please, before you start bashing people on your face book, profile, or any other avenue out of hurt, take a walk, a Long walk, think about other times you have been hurt, It all subsides, it all goes away eventually, and in time, you are bound to meet your future X Significant other. I myself will be your friend, I will let you cry on my shoulder, I will understand your hurt, but I am all for pointing out the fact that your going ape shit over someone who you “say” you do not care about.
Peace
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