It was 9:30 AM, The pillow was fluffy, almost heavenly against my face, Still cool as the air conditioning pushed out more cold air to fill the room. In the distance I could hear Boats, a construction crew working on a Brand new 5 story Condo and then my friend in the next bed over, Stirring out of her hung over state. My phone Beeped again… Not opening My eyes I reached over to the bed side stand and grabbed my blackberry , finally squinting to see 5 missed messages.
8AM “Good Morning”
8:15 AM “are you here?”
9AM “I am hitting the library for lunch, if you can come to Miami”
9:05 “are you awake?”
9:07
Going back, I did not see any of this coming. I was an assistant at a telecommunications company, Loved my job was the company girl. Once a month we got newsletters saying what was New, what was happening and what was in events, there was a picture of a SIM they had built in this game called secondlife. I had a fascination for some reason and tried it, Not knowing what to think or expect.
I remember first meeting him through a Person, whom I refer to as My other dad now, He had Blue hair, and a Blue tail… Yes, I was Intrigued. We talked, we talked more, we never parted from hanging, Unless the other was not online. this was only weeks Into my experience. I had at this point purchased virtual land… I swear I was sane, I had modified Dylana into My version of beautiful, a Polar opposite of me. Long Black hair, soft olive skin and a body that was unlike the rest I saw, She did not need a cracker, But was voluptuous with reality. I used to tell Him, People pay for my nose. In real life I have the perfect nose. Not to big, Not to small. It is Just right. We hung with new friends, did hunts,and he was my teacher, he taught me how to build in secondlife, that was July of 2007.
November of 2007 was a turning point. It was numerous hours of talking, sharing thoughts, secrets and dreams, talking about life, love, laughing and just being silly, stupid or sad, but whatever it was, we were there for the other. We had a house on my lot, a skybox above and numerous memories that will never be repeated. He disappeared for 20 Minutes promising to be right back as I was with our friends, I could hear them chatting in voice giggling but not saying a thing. I received a Invite to Apollo, a Garden Sim for romance and dancing. He was in a white suit, sitting down on a small patio surrounded by flowers and trees.
After I sat down and cuddled next to him I received this
I of course said yes. We had spent the last 5 months Inseparable, Knew each other like the back of our own hand. If one hurt the other hurt, If one laughed we were Both laughing, If one cried the other felt bad. In sickness and in health we were one soul, a partnership built on love, honor, trust and ultimately friendship. When he was sick, I felt horrible, my heart hurt knowing he was suffering. I worried about him as if I could see, taste and feel him. In a virtual world, your limitations are only that of your mind, and I had allowed him into my life, real life feelings and all.
A virtual partnership is only as good as you make it and as good as the two people involved. I have come to understand that I will Never in my lifetime have another relationship to compare to. We were in a virtual world the definition of perfection. In real life we were separate, we were different, we were not, well compatible, but in a virtual world we were each others biggest fans. We learned from each others experiences, felt with real emotions and we gave our selves as he always said one hun.
I was the rock and alternative chick, Never listened to hip hop, who grew a love for T pain and Neyo. He was Hip hop, now sending me Lifehouse songs and singing enrique inglasis in spanish, the best he could to make me smile. I wrote him Poems, He made me pictures, we watched videos and shared every night possible together. I taught him secrets of girls, we don’t normally tell, He told things about guys, that well, Most girls already know, But good to know we were right. I helped him through real life issues, such as girls, job hunting and building up his confidence. He gave to me the greatest gift, he gave me his shoulder to lean on, a content ear to listen and a soothing voice to calm me when life was just to much.
September 2009
Rob Thomas – I love me some matchbox twenty. It was the 23rd to be exact, My birthday. I was still Hung over from partying in Florida our first night, but I had to text him Back. Butterflies In my stomach, I jumped In the shower, My friend threw on her suit and headed to the ocean to sun, I headed out of the Hotel, with a map in my hand of Downtown Miami and Flagler street marked, coming from Hollywood. I had rented a 2010 red Mustang convertible, It was beautiful, I drove with the top down, Minimal make up due to the humidity, and my hair, well Not done like I would have in Michigan. Sporting my Victoria's Secret Jean shorts and a red tank, I hit downtown Miami, lets say I was not in Kansas anymore, I did not think I would ever make it in time. I called him to say I had finally hit Flagler street, naming off places I was passing he kept saying come further, come further. Then I heard “OMG HI!” I looked to my right, He was standing and waving to me from a table street side with his co-worker. My heart dropped. Here was someone who probably knew me more than anyone, and I was scared as Hell. I parked at a Parking area, 12 dollars for 30 minutes. walking down the streets of Miami, alone, my heart was racing, I could barely breath, let alone comprehend what was going to happen. when I was only 20 feet away, his coworker saw me, I raised my finger to my lips to stay quiet, as I snuck up on him and gave him a hug from behind. It was the only thing I wanted to do, was to wrap My arms around him, Just once without the aid of a HUD. He jumped, Looked at me. It was a cross between happiness and a deer in the headlights look, It was for both of us, surreal. I talked to him, His co-worker, Beth I believe her name was and he stared at me, a lot. I tried not to stare, I knew him, His thoughts, wants, his dreams, I knew he was in the same shock as I. Idle chat later, lunch was over, I gave him another hug. He did not move, just looked at me, frozen. I look back and smile, I think maybe he was more scared as me, or maybe I just hid it better. I know he was happy to meet me, even if he could not communicate it. I headed back to my vacation, 20 miles away, Rob Thomas Was Great that night at the Hard rock Café in Hollywood.
January of 2010
We had met in July of 2007, here it has over 2 years and 6 months later. Times changes, People changes, Life changes. Even around the time we had met, he was busy, a lot. Although he did not say it, I knew he had started seeing someone in real life, and was on maybe once a week for an hour or so. He felt bad, Guilty, he spent the first half apologizing and the second half trying to make up for lost time. After a lot of thought, I knew I had to let him go. Virtually Forever. I remember sitting at my PC, trying to type it out, an email to not hurt him, Or me in the long run. I loved him enough to let him go, and wanted him to not have me to make him feel guilty. My eyes stung with every word, but I think I did ok. He wrote me back, with his usual sweetness, apologizing once more for not being there for me, and saying it was ok. I know we both were hurt, but understood the circumstances. He quit after that, stopped logging. I retired Dylana, she had been attached to him, and as far as I was concerned, she had nothing left. It had been the best 2 and a half years of my Virtual life, I would never give up, nor would I ever try to repeat, that was Impossible.
Moving On
It is hard sometimes to move on, but it is always possible, I know hurt feelings and broken hearts are inevitable. He did come back to Secondlife 7 months later. I had become Lindsay, He was still, my best friend. We still talk, although not as much. We both have the same dreams, wants and needs, just in separate spaces. If he needed me, I would be there in a heartbeat, and I hope him for me. It is August of 2011,4 years have passed since that chance meeting at neversedge night club. He just got out of the Hospital. Needless to say it has been a hard week for me, I have been sick myself and knowing he was in the hospital made it harder, checking his Facebook page for updates, an email, anything. He is home, and feeling better, and I am better now to. For what its worth I will never capture what I had back then, Nor replace it. It is impossible to find a soul mate that matches as we did, and I doubt in the rest of my virtual life will I ever get that close to anyone ever again. Yeah, I guess I thought I would, but I was wrong, I cannot say I look back on anyone else and feel as I do with such happiness, love and respect. Our differences became our bond, Our bond became our future, and our future will forever be intertwined with each other, for all the smiles, the tears and the heartbreak. Maybe we are not inseparable, we have different friends, , but he is still that guy, in a blue tail that Intrigued me.
Tro and Lindsay
This Post is dedicated to him and the last 4 years of my life, may your happiness be just around the corner, and may your know your always loved.
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