True Love

 

In the darkness of the night is when those with heavy hearts, with regrets with a lost passion find the moments unbearable.  We lay listless,and with to many thoughts in our head, as if there is a hamster on speed running and running over and over again but getting nowhere.  We pick moments apart, wonder why, where it could have changed and how it can be fixed.  But sometimes it is not that it is broken, it is just that we are hurt.  Time is both a blessing and a curse at this moment, For time rushes for no one, but in time our thoughts will dwindle to concentrate on other things. 

Once in a while a glimmer of hope may happen, but not always does it pay off, Sometimes it becomes the old standby of 2 steps forward, 3 steps back.  We must accept defeat at some point, but only  after we have done every thing in our power to rectify the situation within our grasp.  On the other hand, you cannot force another to do the same. 

While truly loving someone enough to let go, One must also accept that when you do care about someone, it is Not the reciprocal that matters, It is in the others happiness that matters.  In that is where the demons of the night sneak in, because at this time is when your alone, and even if it is a warm summers night, Our heart feels cold and empty at times.  We must let our delusion of Grandeur go, Our hopes for future smiles,  our thoughts of one more hug, Kiss or chance. 

It is not always easy but it is the right choice, and let their happiness continue on, with or without you.  It seems bleak, yes, But once again, as much as those hours seem to go slowly in the night, It is in time that we will see a difference, and rejoice in their smiles, even if from afar.  It is smiling at their successes,  Believing in them, even when they do not believe in themselves, It is keeping them in your heart, even if you are not in theirs.

True love is not always a love story or a romance novel, it is sometimes more like a comic book or a old war movie.  There is No rights or wrongs in love, for love overcomes all, even in the moments where you are sure there is no hope, your heart will carry out your wishes, your hopes and dreams for them. 

In my small years of living, there is one thing I am sure of, it is that when those moments of sleeplessness hit, When I am playing it out in my mind, when I am reaching for answers in a star filled night, it is then, My heart has decided to carry on, with them, even if they do not know. 

True love is not a word, it is an action, and expression and the one thing you cannot part with, for it is embedded in your heart and soul.

Not so Black and White

 

So I did a blog on relationships, called That Gray Shaded area But I left out a side, The side everyone else Presumes.  A relationship Is a 2 way road, But Be it friendship Dating, Serious or not, People will have their opinions.  Most are from what they see, Hear and notice, others from what you tell them, Others just out of pure speculation.  So now we are at a Square, No longer a triangle. 

 

No matter what you do you cannot stop this from happening,  It is human nature to come to a conclusion based on their interactions with them, Regardless of it was good, bad or just plain Hideous.

Chatting to a friend about a couple her comment was

“They were always perfect together” 

Funny because they are no longer together, But that does not stop them from having an opinion.  Not that I disagree with them or their opinion, I actually do agree, But once again it is a 3rd party viewing at this Point. 

So here it is, that gray shaded area has 2 areas, the reality and the assumptions that others place on that relationship.  It is usually the 3rd party references that have the rumors, the insinuations and sometimes they may be dead on, but one thing is for sure,  It does not matter who you  are but your actions or lack there of will be tallied for later assumptions, and judged by others.  So get on your game face and make it worth the rumor.

Peace Out

Friends With No Benefits

Everyone Knows what Friends With benefits is, But what about the Other Spectrum,  Oh They are Out there, They are On your friends list, they are hiding on facebook so no one can see their online,  they never like or comment on any thing and well they are pretty much just there for show. 

I cannot say I am the BEST Friend to have, But if you say put something out there on facebook I think is funny, cute or interesting, I will acknowledge your efforts.  OK, maybe I am not going to go out of my way to make you feel fuzzy and warm inside, but I purely believe that a friendship is a 2 way street, No Questions asked, just a mutual appreciation for the other. 

I have a friend who Is on 3 social networks, Never says “Hi” even though they are online, Nothing, I will inevitably delete them, I really could care less… I mean I have been blessed by so many good friends, Why clutter up my list with Useless names I have no need for.  If say I needed to talk, would I go to them, No, so what is the point of keeping this random name especially in Secondlife, where there is a new friend lurking around every corner…

I know why I have kept mine, in all honesty, they are females, and I don’t have a lot of friends that are girls,  Girls hate girls and guys hate guys, it is the nature of the beast.  I have a 80 to 20 ratio of Male to female friends, and really the few girls I am tight with, I appreciate More than anything.  I would say half the females added me Just to see when I was Online, and the other half were business contacts and a necessity, 

Most of my male friends, well Seriously we all know what they want, I can go back for years and tell them what they said when and  how I turned them down, Easy peasy, BUT I planned on keeping them, because Well, I like you, Females on the other hand, Holy hell, you would think every female is out to steal your man, Lie and deceive you, this is so not the case, Unless of course the female is not me, HA HA. No really I do believe that most people are not bad, and that there is a good part to all, I am far from trusting people with a lot of personal stuff, but I have my close friends for that, I just want to go out and have fun.

I purely believe a No benefit policy when if comes to friends that I plan to keep for a Long run when they are male, they of course love to test the waters and see if Perchance I have changed my mind at least once a week….. He he – Yes YOU.. No  I just don’t want to lose friends over drama related to stupid decisions and one night stands, not my style and I do have way to much class for that.  So if your reading this and want to make a new friend I am always on the market.

My Next blog will be on the top 10 things NOT to do if you’re a friend….. Now won’t that be interesting

The Redundancy of Relationships

 

Here I go again,  back on the relationship  Shout out… I get pulled Into this shit I swear.    I am not sure why I am writing this, If it is for myself or for someone else, But its my blog so If you don’t like it, Press the pretty Red X at the top right and call it a day.

I Wrote one a while ago called “What a girl wants” which entailed expectations of myself, and probably most people of any sex, the basis of it was respect with the bullets of the normal things our Significant others trend to screw up on. Seriously, My last boyfriend was a culprit of all but 1 or 2, He was my inspiration, But it all fairness, He is not a bad guy, just a bad boyfriend. 

Here is where I did not clarify the steps – Where does it begin, I mean this is not something You slip Into and wake up and say Oh Shit I have a boyfriend, but then for some, a few to many and yea, it happens in the moment of stupidity when our beer/whiskey/margarita glasses are on. 

The Beginning

Really it all starts with communication, something that usually loses it luster in time, But communication and  attraction,. if one is lacking then a friendship entails.  Sometimes you are friends and something happens, maybe  one starts to like the other and then more time is spent together and a bond grows,  but Undoubtedly attraction and communication have to take place and this is where honesty is key, If you pretend to be someone your not, there is going to be hell to pay down the road.

Jane meets Jim, Jim is wearing a NY Yankees Jersey, they strike up a conversation, Jane tells Jim how much she LOVES baseball, their first date is a game, their 3rd date is a game, 2 years later Jane wants to cry because she is now engaged and her wedding gift from her husband is season tickets to every game, Jane despises every sport out there Including arguing, So Jane is stuck in baseball hell or she has to tell Jim she has been lying for the last 2 years about loving the sport

Be Honest People, If Jane would have thought this out, maybe she could have said, I have never been to a game, but maybe you could teach me about it, and go from there, Now if he can fall for her during this process and she still hates it, she is better off, maybe she can buy him the tickets for a wedding gift for him and HIS friends to go…. Huge Difference!

So lying is bad, we all learned this In elementary school and at home, it is not something that should be part of the relationship cycle although More Common that not.

Senrario 2 – This is a personal one for me, I am to honest for my own good. Chatting about  the state fair, I said me and my best friend go every year.. He said he was going on Saturday to, so as the day drew nearer, I had to fess Up I had no clue what was there,  let alone where it was.  I finally said she had to back out, and that I was not able to go, he then said his friend was not ether, and why don’t we go together.  It ended up being the best date ever, I got the Biggest Bear at the game booths we hit the bar after and I would say 4 months into the relationship it was common knowledge we got together on both of us telling a white Lie, BUT we were both smart enough to not keep up the lie, that is small, Not life changing, it was the state fair, I mean really, how many games are in a season of baseball….. Umm, I don’t mind an occasional game, but I am not painting my face and going ape shit over a white ball going 60 MPH toward a dude In a Leather glove.  Now if you like Hockey, That is a sport with balls… Ha Ha.

Bottom Line don’t sugar coat yourself – no one is perfect, and really if they cannot like you for who you are, the curb is an appropriate place to leave them, If your generous, give them fare for a cab on their way out.

The stupid stage

All people that are at the beginning have this stage – it is the Lovey dovey sick stage where your friends want you to just get a room or talk in sign language so they don’t have to hear ll the Mushy crap, we all like being loved, and we all think its going to last forever, Right?  Did you ever fall for someone thinking, Ok he will be an asshole in 3 months, so I should start looking for someone else now?  No that is not our thinking, But what we do like is the assumption that they are there for just us, and that we are their world, I say assumption because unless this has been stated we are taking it on ourselves to fill in the blanks.  it is after the stupid stage that you find out what really makes them tick.

The Beginning Of the end of the rest of your life

After the Pretty wears Off, all that is left is you, and them,  if the bull shit out weighs the real you, you might as well of not hit the stupid stage, it was time wasted, it was pretty much all for show and the only things that get Prizes for show are Dogs and Horses… Last I looked I was not one of them.

The key to figuring out if your compatible is Logic, well If Logic agrees with your emotions,  Logically do you fit? this is not a Disney movie, he is not going to whisk you away on a horse,  there is going to be No horse drawn carriage, just him, sitting around in his sweats, On the couch asking you what's for lunch… Is this logical for you?  Did You want to spend every minute with him, and he you? Is there an emotional bond besides the one you two found at that hotel last spring and try to reinvent every other day?

The trouble with Men

They have no clue WHAT they want, No that is not true, they want the bakery most of the time, Why get a Cream Puff every day when there is so many Yummy things to try, even if the cream puff is their favorite  and they always go back to it eventually, they want to try them all out before making that call.

For gods sake Let them, and if they lose you to their own sweet tooth, their lose, I mean really are you that small, worth that little that you are going to pine over some guy walking around with a donut one day and a Muffin (top) the next.  If you were to push him at this point he is ether A going to run, or B going to cheat and not feel guilty because , well he was pushed into the relationship so, it is not his fault he wants to try that New flavor in the window….. Let him have his fun and when the one good thing he had is happy with someone else, Well goes down to his lose and maybe he will learn next time.

Don’t think this only goes for guys, this is for the girls to, But we use our emotions to rule or destiny, allowing for an extreme judgmental error which will occur numerous times in our lifetime.  If we Love him, that is the end all Be all of it, no one else is good enough,  Take a step back, see other people, have fun, learn about them give them a chance to get to know you.  He may be your happiness when Mr. Perfect has not made up their mind.

The Bitter Truth with a Cherry On top

Scenario

Jim and Jane again –Eh easy names to use -  Jim likes Jane a lot, but is not Sure, Jane likes Jim, and wants to be with him but did not push because well, She thought it out, and knew better than to lead that horse to water……smart girl.

Now the ball is in Jims park, he will be making the calls on this game, But that does not stop Jane from still wanting him, It just gives her extra time to find someone else she likes better, Yes, Guys do not think about that, Ha ha, But it is true, Jane can go out, have fun, Meet people, hang with the girls and screw around all she wants, Even do things Jim would be shocked at, BUT she is using Logic, If he cannot commit, You must acquit.  Jim if he is the right guy for her will hopefully figure out his needs before she figures out there is better, It is a balancing act really.  In the perfect scenario, Jim figures out the others are just a Filler and she is the one, the bottom Line the end all be all of his Ying and yang, they live happily ever after

If not, Jane has met new people, made new contacts, and hopefully after a night or 2 of eating ice cream and watching cheesy 80s movies is back out there and once again having fun,

Love sucks since there is not rules, and when there is rules applied to love it must be equal – what's that saying, what's good for the goose is good for the gander? still holds true today.

 

Peace Out – For now …………….

What a girl wants… At least this One

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