Here I go again, back on the relationship Shout out… I get pulled Into this shit I swear. I am not sure why I am writing this, If it is for myself or for someone else, But its my blog so If you don’t like it, Press the pretty Red X at the top right and call it a day.
I Wrote one a while ago called “What a girl wants” which entailed expectations of myself, and probably most people of any sex, the basis of it was respect with the bullets of the normal things our Significant others trend to screw up on. Seriously, My last boyfriend was a culprit of all but 1 or 2, He was my inspiration, But it all fairness, He is not a bad guy, just a bad boyfriend.
Here is where I did not clarify the steps – Where does it begin, I mean this is not something You slip Into and wake up and say Oh Shit I have a boyfriend, but then for some, a few to many and yea, it happens in the moment of stupidity when our beer/whiskey/margarita glasses are on.
The Beginning
Really it all starts with communication, something that usually loses it luster in time, But communication and attraction,. if one is lacking then a friendship entails. Sometimes you are friends and something happens, maybe one starts to like the other and then more time is spent together and a bond grows, but Undoubtedly attraction and communication have to take place and this is where honesty is key, If you pretend to be someone your not, there is going to be hell to pay down the road.
Jane meets Jim, Jim is wearing a NY Yankees Jersey, they strike up a conversation, Jane tells Jim how much she LOVES baseball, their first date is a game, their 3rd date is a game, 2 years later Jane wants to cry because she is now engaged and her wedding gift from her husband is season tickets to every game, Jane despises every sport out there Including arguing, So Jane is stuck in baseball hell or she has to tell Jim she has been lying for the last 2 years about loving the sport
Be Honest People, If Jane would have thought this out, maybe she could have said, I have never been to a game, but maybe you could teach me about it, and go from there, Now if he can fall for her during this process and she still hates it, she is better off, maybe she can buy him the tickets for a wedding gift for him and HIS friends to go…. Huge Difference!
So lying is bad, we all learned this In elementary school and at home, it is not something that should be part of the relationship cycle although More Common that not.
Senrario 2 – This is a personal one for me, I am to honest for my own good. Chatting about the state fair, I said me and my best friend go every year.. He said he was going on Saturday to, so as the day drew nearer, I had to fess Up I had no clue what was there, let alone where it was. I finally said she had to back out, and that I was not able to go, he then said his friend was not ether, and why don’t we go together. It ended up being the best date ever, I got the Biggest Bear at the game booths we hit the bar after and I would say 4 months into the relationship it was common knowledge we got together on both of us telling a white Lie, BUT we were both smart enough to not keep up the lie, that is small, Not life changing, it was the state fair, I mean really, how many games are in a season of baseball….. Umm, I don’t mind an occasional game, but I am not painting my face and going ape shit over a white ball going 60 MPH toward a dude In a Leather glove. Now if you like Hockey, That is a sport with balls… Ha Ha.
Bottom Line don’t sugar coat yourself – no one is perfect, and really if they cannot like you for who you are, the curb is an appropriate place to leave them, If your generous, give them fare for a cab on their way out.
The stupid stage
All people that are at the beginning have this stage – it is the Lovey dovey sick stage where your friends want you to just get a room or talk in sign language so they don’t have to hear ll the Mushy crap, we all like being loved, and we all think its going to last forever, Right? Did you ever fall for someone thinking, Ok he will be an asshole in 3 months, so I should start looking for someone else now? No that is not our thinking, But what we do like is the assumption that they are there for just us, and that we are their world, I say assumption because unless this has been stated we are taking it on ourselves to fill in the blanks. it is after the stupid stage that you find out what really makes them tick.
The Beginning Of the end of the rest of your life
After the Pretty wears Off, all that is left is you, and them, if the bull shit out weighs the real you, you might as well of not hit the stupid stage, it was time wasted, it was pretty much all for show and the only things that get Prizes for show are Dogs and Horses… Last I looked I was not one of them.
The key to figuring out if your compatible is Logic, well If Logic agrees with your emotions, Logically do you fit? this is not a Disney movie, he is not going to whisk you away on a horse, there is going to be No horse drawn carriage, just him, sitting around in his sweats, On the couch asking you what's for lunch… Is this logical for you? Did You want to spend every minute with him, and he you? Is there an emotional bond besides the one you two found at that hotel last spring and try to reinvent every other day?
The trouble with Men
They have no clue WHAT they want, No that is not true, they want the bakery most of the time, Why get a Cream Puff every day when there is so many Yummy things to try, even if the cream puff is their favorite and they always go back to it eventually, they want to try them all out before making that call.
For gods sake Let them, and if they lose you to their own sweet tooth, their lose, I mean really are you that small, worth that little that you are going to pine over some guy walking around with a donut one day and a Muffin (top) the next. If you were to push him at this point he is ether A going to run, or B going to cheat and not feel guilty because , well he was pushed into the relationship so, it is not his fault he wants to try that New flavor in the window….. Let him have his fun and when the one good thing he had is happy with someone else, Well goes down to his lose and maybe he will learn next time.
Don’t think this only goes for guys, this is for the girls to, But we use our emotions to rule or destiny, allowing for an extreme judgmental error which will occur numerous times in our lifetime. If we Love him, that is the end all Be all of it, no one else is good enough, Take a step back, see other people, have fun, learn about them give them a chance to get to know you. He may be your happiness when Mr. Perfect has not made up their mind.
The Bitter Truth with a Cherry On top
Scenario
Jim and Jane again –Eh easy names to use - Jim likes Jane a lot, but is not Sure, Jane likes Jim, and wants to be with him but did not push because well, She thought it out, and knew better than to lead that horse to water……smart girl.
Now the ball is in Jims park, he will be making the calls on this game, But that does not stop Jane from still wanting him, It just gives her extra time to find someone else she likes better, Yes, Guys do not think about that, Ha ha, But it is true, Jane can go out, have fun, Meet people, hang with the girls and screw around all she wants, Even do things Jim would be shocked at, BUT she is using Logic, If he cannot commit, You must acquit. Jim if he is the right guy for her will hopefully figure out his needs before she figures out there is better, It is a balancing act really. In the perfect scenario, Jim figures out the others are just a Filler and she is the one, the bottom Line the end all be all of his Ying and yang, they live happily ever after
If not, Jane has met new people, made new contacts, and hopefully after a night or 2 of eating ice cream and watching cheesy 80s movies is back out there and once again having fun,
Love sucks since there is not rules, and when there is rules applied to love it must be equal – what's that saying, what's good for the goose is good for the gander? still holds true today.
Peace Out – For now …………….
