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March 29, 2012

Why I Left My SecondLife


One day there was a realization, a moment of clarity, a Minute I had the answer.  It has since left but I still have pieces of the reason.

We are all scared of change, and as I look around at the chaos of my life, my heart, my mind, It is the realization of loneliness, Dispair and a need to be wanted, a Want to be needed, and to be someone's choice not one of their options that kept me there.  It is the blatant truth that will set you free, it is the growing into someone else, it is losing your respect for yourself, it is the person that made you lose that respect, it is realizing that you are no more than another person on a list of many, and not always on the top but one option that could be made. 

What Secondlife has allowed me to learn is that Love, at its best, Is forever.  It is not a passing phase, but relinquished with every thought, song, notion and memory.  Love is not so much romantic, and is very often one sided, But it never does die, and if you choose to accept it, you will never wish that person harm.  You soar with their happiness and help them through the dark times.  It is sometimes, No most of the time not reciprocated, it is at its peak a roller coaster of happiness and solitude, and a crash of heart break and then complacency.   It is a lesson well worth its pain, and will carry with you throughout your life.  Love is never something to ignore, but sometimes it is best if it is from afar. 

Secondlife has also taught me that some people can live out a virtual life as if it was their own, a Home, a family, a life full of those things that in the real world they are lacking.  Some of us do not have an off switch, Some of us have one installed after a while.  Then there are ones like me with a Dimmer, I fade out into an existence of grass, warm weather, tanning, swimming and hiking with real people.  I found my zen in a family of neighbors and loved ones I can hug, go out with and take pictures of to remember the moment. 

I learned to stop trusting my emotions, they are usually a fail, it is the blinders that allow us to think we feel a certain way, when it only takes 1 Minute to crash and burn many hours and or years of trust, respect and mutual admiration.  It is then we have to accept change. 

Secondlife is full of change,  Friends, homes, partners and trends.  Change is hard and it is never something most choose, we are scared of change, it disturbs or Psyche, and makes the normal Chaos even more unbearable.  What I have come to realize is change is not always bad, if handled with small amounts, a Little at a time.  When I stepped away from Second Life, I logged maybe once a week, then 20 min then not at all, the less I Logged in, the less I missed it.  Same with all my social Media, I can let it all go. 

It is Not always easy to let go of everything, I know that, it is Human to be attached to items, People, places, feelings.  Common sense says if you can let go of a Place, then it alleviates  the person attached to that place, Let that person go and the items are no longer as important tucked away, and then those damn feelings, they may never leave, but your chances just went up 75% by letting 3 out of 4 go. 

So why did I leave?  I guess because I was able to admit defeat, It is not a game I can win, There is no point system for being a shoulder to cry on, a Beating board for Pissed off people, a cute avatar whose heart is capable of breaking, a Land owner for 5 years.  I do not get Bonus Points for alienating those who hurt those I cared about,  Keeping My Morals,  Walking away from drama and not causing more,  Remaining true to those I cared about.   There is no Higher Levels for dressing stylish, Helping Noobies, giving my all when nothing was returned,  and most importantly, Losing myself in the long run. 

As I have been gone for a while, I can still smile at random Moments, Ones that have been long forgot by most, I can still hold onto the beginning when everything was new, When it was a  Perfect world and exciting.  But I can let go of the Excess bullshit, the moments of clouded clarity and the realization that I, alone, am Noones Priority, But Instead am a virtual option, In a sea of other options. 

March 2, 2012

Ghosts Of the Past


I was about 9 years old, It was summertime in Michigan, It was my 3 months away from the bustling city in a small town, No let me rephrase, a Cottage in the middle of the woods.  My Grandma and Grandpa bought it 20 years earlier, although On my 7th birthday, my grandpa passed away from a sudden heart attack.

It was a second home for me, I knew every one on the small winding 2 mile road that turned into dusty 2 tracks at the end, all 8 of them.  I had a freedom there most kids do not in the city, to wander aimlessly and explore, I was a great swimmer, and well, I was 9.  I have always been sort of a Loner, It is My introverted side, I would wander to the docks of the people that were not home and just sit and watch the water and read a book. 

On this day I went to Leann’s they were not up north at the time, and I needed a break from, Well Life.  At 9 you have issues right?  I really have no clue what mine were.  I looked over the lake for a few Minutes, no one was fishing, It was beautiful as the water rippled against the shoreline into the fallen trees. Off in the distance on the other lake attached an out board motor boat was cruising the lake looking for a good perch spot.  I decided to read.  It was quiet.  Not sure how long I read, 10 maybe 15 Minutes then something told me to look up, there was a fisherman maybe 30 feet away, I could see him with his tan brimmed fishing hat on to cover his face from the sun.  He had a Long sleeve shirt on it was dark and a Life Jacket over his shirt.  I felt like he was Looking Into me not at me.. I froze.  Then he smiled and I was no longer scared, I waved, and he waved back to me.  I noticed the License he had on his boat the Numbers they used to use, I looked down at My book saying them over and over again, I felt the need to memorize them.  Looking back up he smiled at me again and tipped his hat, for some reason I knew he was going to be gone when I looked up again, and he was. 

I had looked down for maybe a minute, but then he left just as he came, with no sound of oars against the boat, the water not churning as the boat slid thru or the sound of a motor close period, It was silence.  A chill slid down my spine as the obscenity of all of it came to me, Who was he and how did he come and go so quickly.  I remember grabbing my book and running up the old cement steps to the top of the hill and not stopping till I arrived back at the cottage maybe a quarter mile away. 

My mom was cleaning and getting ready for dinner as I slid into the chair at the table.  She glanced up at me after wiping down the stove

“Is every thing okay?

I Nodded

“Mom?, Didn’t grandpa have a tan old fishing hat?”

she smiled and said yes

“Was his old boat blue?”

She cocked her head a bit with a bit of concern


Then I said, “If I gave you a Number that was on the side of his boat would you remember it?”

She sat at the table with me as I blurted out these Numbers in Sequence as I had memorized them.  He face went white.

“How do you know that?” she asked me.

I smiled with a tinge in my heart “Grandpa came to say good bye” I replied

February 29, 2012

You Suck

If you think this poem is about you,

You could not be further from Right,

It is entirely about me,

and my will to Fight,

It is about the classic Moments,

The ones that I made,

But as time slips away,

Memories also fade,

It is about perseverance,

and the strength from within,

It is about keeping your word,

Not willing to commit sin,

It is about making a promise,

About making a Pact,

It is about walking away,

Never Looking back,

It is about finding yourself,

In a world of Mirrors,

It is about standing Up,

and forgetting your fears,

It is about meeting people,

By chance or by luck,

It is about accepting the fact,

That you really suck


Catfish–a Virtual Mess


After watching the Movie “Catfish”  Again, It is a very good movie if you have not seen it,  it occurred to me, how true of a story it is. 

The internet is full of “Fish” or virtual personalities,  some of us are cod and others are "the “Catfish”  The story of these fish in a short version is like this

Around the turn of the century Cod was very popular, It was wanted across the country, attempting to freeze it, made the fish tasteless and mushy even at the fastest transportation at the time, By train.  They then tried to keep them in large aquariums on the train But being in there as long as they were,they were not healthy and The taste was still Insufficient.  Someone looked into the lifecycle of the cod and found out that the Natural enemy of the cod was the catfish, by adding a few catfish to the tanks, the cod would stay mobile and moving, they stayed fresher fighting for their life against the “Enemy” so to speak.

So who is the “Catfish” and who is the cod? 

I am not sure anyone is always one or the other, but I think we tend to swap roles,  without the catfish, we would never learn a lesson, without the cod, we would never have a good friend.  Nether is dispensable, They are both needed for survival.

Back to the movie. 

So this movie is basically and internet relationship gone wrong, it is not heart warming as much as it is WTF… By the end, We feel for Nev for the emotional investment he had in her, but then you feel for his “Virtual” friend for her Reality she was trying to escape.  I really do not think she really lied about how she felt, But I think she could not be who he “thought” she was. 

Ether way she toyed with his feelings, and in the end he did forgive her, although I doubt he will ever trust anyone online again. 

It amazes me how attached you can get to someone you do Not know, never touched and may never meet, but it does happen, and really, I am guilty.  I have gotten attached, and it does suck, when the realization comes that your emotions are just that, Yours… and they will not be shared, It is definitely heart wrenching. 

For the catfish in my life, I would say thank you, but really, Nah, you would not appreciate it it regardless, I cannot say toying with people online is amusing.  My life is busy as it is, so I am out of the “aquarium”  so to speak, leaving the Catfish to other cod, Yes, maybe it is good that there is something to keep you on your toes, but at the same time, the catfish should wear a sign. 

February 28, 2012

Casualties of Life


We all have a catastrophe  of sorts, For some it is the Inevitable Bad hair bad, Others waking up WAY after the alarm, and others,  Well Everyday just making it work.

We all have our demons, it is how we handle our selves in the moment that count.  Standing in line you are running late for work and the 3 people in front of you are the enemy in line… Right?  Gah I HATE that,  But I also know No ones life revolves around me ether.  Except for my sons, Or is that the other way around?  Anyway,  you getting up late may be a small piece crap compared to the lady 2 people ahead of you counting her change to get gas because her mom is in the hospital, Or the guy right in front of you who has been out of work for a year and praying he makes it to the interview of a minimums wage job on time.  As you toss your money at the attendant, who has 3 kids, used to be a white collar worker but choose to work at minimum wage than let his family suffer, You are your own enemy.   Pushing open the door you pass a girl, who is obviously having a good hair day,  To bad you did not realize she is heading to a funeral for her best friend, who committed suicide over a failed marriage and to trump that, she was pregnant also.  Yes, you are your own black cloud. 

Shoving the pump into your tank,  Your foot tapping, a older man passes you, smiles and continues to walk, you manage a half ass smile watching the gallons fill the tank slowly,  Why is he so happy?  He is in his own way celebrating his anniversary, with his wife today where she is, the cemetery. 

We really should all have tag Lines

“Lost My Mom today”

“Just had my heart broke by someone whom I trusted”

“Lost my dog”

“Struggling to support my family/children”

“Just needs someone to listen”

“Could really Use a Hug”

“Wishes I could tell someone how I really Feel”

“Believes in angels but is missing mine”

Why are we so Engulfed in our own bullshit and are completely unaware there is a world of people out there that need even just a small moment, a smile, just help.

I remember being at a gas station, a woman was getting gas a few years back,  She was upset, I am not sure why, I have no clue really.  I had never seen her, Nor have I since, But the moment I passed by her, handed her a Gas station rose and a snicker bar the look on her face was Priceless.  Thinking about it now makes me smile, because I know that One small gesture meant the world to her.  Ok she was heaving as she pumped her gas it was apparent, But a lot of us don’t show what we are Really feeling, we harbor and hide it, I know most men will do hand stands before showing any emotion, especially if it cues in the word Weak…

Next time you get up, your late, Tank is on E and your just having a “Bad” day, STOP.. Look in the mirror for 30 Seconds and tell your self how lucky you are to have a reason to be up at that Hour, that you have a car to drive to work, and the fact that your life in comparison even on a curve is not that hella Bad.

Cancellation Of Life


Some days are better than others right?  So I endeavered into an Unknown territory… Cancelation

I have never been to this page before, Ever, In all my years.  after pressing the Link, I stared at the screen…


Yeah, It was almost heartbreaking to see the screen.  I closed it out. 

Then I started to think, It would be so nice to have a Cancel Life option and start over again,  but then really, I am who I am, Would it be any different?  Would my status change?  My thoughts or beliefs?  Doubtful. 

I believe we are where we need to be, at this moment.. We are at a time and place that we created, By our thoughts, Feelings and past history.  What we choose to do with the rest of our time is on us. 

I could choose to be a bitch, a regretful recluse, a product of my environment, a religious activist, a judgmental hater, or I could continue on my path, of simply being me. 

I do not think we could improve by starting over, we have to hold onto all the things we have to make it worth the ride.  It is not the start or the ending that really matters,  It is all that is In between.  It is being the best you can be.  the Best friend, Spouse, Lover, Neighbor, Mother, father and everything In the middle. 

February 27, 2012

True Love


In the darkness of the night is when those with heavy hearts, with regrets with a lost passion find the moments unbearable.  We lay listless,and with to many thoughts in our head, as if there is a hamster on speed running and running over and over again but getting nowhere.  We pick moments apart, wonder why, where it could have changed and how it can be fixed.  But sometimes it is not that it is broken, it is just that we are hurt.  Time is both a blessing and a curse at this moment, For time rushes for no one, but in time our thoughts will dwindle to concentrate on other things. 

Once in a while a glimmer of hope may happen, but not always does it pay off, Sometimes it becomes the old standby of 2 steps forward, 3 steps back.  We must accept defeat at some point, but only  after we have done every thing in our power to rectify the situation within our grasp.  On the other hand, you cannot force another to do the same. 

While truly loving someone enough to let go, One must also accept that when you do care about someone, it is Not the reciprocal that matters, It is in the others happiness that matters.  In that is where the demons of the night sneak in, because at this time is when your alone, and even if it is a warm summers night, Our heart feels cold and empty at times.  We must let our delusion of Grandeur go, Our hopes for future smiles,  our thoughts of one more hug, Kiss or chance. 

It is not always easy but it is the right choice, and let their happiness continue on, with or without you.  It seems bleak, yes, But once again, as much as those hours seem to go slowly in the night, It is in time that we will see a difference, and rejoice in their smiles, even if from afar.  It is smiling at their successes,  Believing in them, even when they do not believe in themselves, It is keeping them in your heart, even if you are not in theirs.

True love is not always a love story or a romance novel, it is sometimes more like a comic book or a old war movie.  There is No rights or wrongs in love, for love overcomes all, even in the moments where you are sure there is no hope, your heart will carry out your wishes, your hopes and dreams for them. 

In my small years of living, there is one thing I am sure of, it is that when those moments of sleeplessness hit, When I am playing it out in my mind, when I am reaching for answers in a star filled night, it is then, My heart has decided to carry on, with them, even if they do not know. 

True love is not a word, it is an action, and expression and the one thing you cannot part with, for it is embedded in your heart and soul.

February 25, 2012

Girl Scouts a Cult? Please…..


Ok this really pisses me off…. this guy from Fort Wayne Indiana has deemed ALL Girl Scouts a cult.  I was a girl scout, apparently  I need to be in some recovery group now. 

He states they they are Pro-Abortion, Pro-Lesbian and teach girls that sex is not dirty.

I don’t know what to say here, I really don’t except for some people need to keep their Opinions to themselves and STFU. 

As a elected official, This guy Just bashed every gay person out there, any girl that had unprotected sex, be it Rape, a bad choice or maybe because the guy said “I LOVE YOU” . Yes Mr.  Morris  these girls have to have a willing participant to have sex,  Maybe a Boy Scout? 

He is upset that a “Transgendered” boy joined a Girl Scout troop in Colorado.  We are not talking about rocket science here, apparently he LIKES to do crafts and girl stuff, this happens and with acceptance comes enlightenment Mr. Morris……  Girls can join Boy Scouts Too!  They are called the Venturers.

I cannot believe you are so close minded, and think YOUR Opinion matters SO much that you as some screwed up choice to be the voice for many, should be able to stop 100 years of girls that have been doing community service, Crafts, camping and my Favorite, Horse back riding. 

So Girl Scouts does not want to take a stand on sexuality, Abortion, OR Birth Control. So Be it, I will teach my son the way I want him to think,  It is NOT the Scouts duty Nor is it your neighbors to be telling your children Not to have sex, Use a condom, take birth control or get an abortion. 

Your apology only comes as a regret for you screwed up,  You are a Government official, you are speaking on everyone’s behalf,  You opinion should not count at this point….  the hundreds of girl scout that Do go to senior homes, walk in your parades,  baby sit your children, Walk your dogs, Carry in Groceries for your neighbors are the ones paying for your need to push your opinion on your colleagues.  You Mr. Morris are a total twit.

Also I would like to say, Being gay or transgendered does not make you a Cult, as Much as being a Ignorant Political  Icon does… Are you in a religious cult?  One that Hates and Discriminates against those that do not have your beliefs?   I have one belief and that is to Raise My child as I see fit,  what the beliefs are of the other parents in my sons troop are, are not my business,  they are teaching them to be well rounded, social and giving. 

As a parent I am NOT going to talk Sex to anyone else child it is NOT my place, Nor am I going to say they are wrong for feeling a certain way, Once again NOT my place, My place is to be a safe place, one that hopefully they can trust, My Judgments mean nothing, But just listening and NOT judging a child can save a life.   Acceptance of our differences is the ONLY way to grow.

I am happy that you have decided you have a GOD like status and can rule over all these people, whom you have never met,  Judge them and vote against something your Mother was probably a part of (Have you sent her to be recovered?  She may need help also getting over those Horrid Cult Like scouts)

This is a 3rd Generation Girl scout here, My Sexual Preference has No matter on this, nor do My views on abortion.   I refuse to lower Myself to a level of doing shout outs as to my preferences because….  IT DOES NOT MATTER, What matters is that times change we have to change with them.  You were born at the wrong time for these opinions,  and elected by a lot of people that are regretting their votes. 

I hope your next position does not include any communication skills with the the people of Fort Wayne, Unless your asking “Would You Like Fries with that?”

February 24, 2012

Dreams and Bronson Pinchot


So here we are Friday and what are we doing?  I am going to bed, and soon.   You are probably  trollin the internet, games, people to see what is up. 

I envy you,  only because I used to do the same.  I used to have the drive to look what was up, to see what was going on, and to hang out online with my internet friends.   Then, It stops…  Well , Ok it was stopped a few times, but really I know when I have no need to game for days, weeks, months, moment is over. 

I wrote a blog back In september called 180 degrees, which was my turning point, the way you start to view people that you know online and how they change, then why you come back for whatever reason then, eh, Maybe leave again.  I did Not Publish till just Now, Since, Well I slack at times and then add to it.

I am guilty,  I can come and go, depending on the reason.  I have so few “real” connections anymore that it makes it easier to walk away.  I cannot say I stare at the Log in screen cause I don’t,  I draw, Listen to Music and well, Keep In touch with those that want to be in my life Via text, Facebook and Email. 

SO what is on my Mind?  You ask?  Funny, Bronson Pinchot…  He is a great guy, Who you ask?  well he is a sitcom star that was on this Celebrity dreams show I happened across.  We had the same dream,  Well Pretty damn close, the factors of a House, and Our mothers being killed in some fashion, a fear of abandonment and some other things, But really it was so close his dream and Mine matched.  Funny thing, we both have a Love for Greek revival homes, He renovates On a TV show, I draw them, He has a fear of abandonment, as do I, and both our fathers slipped Out at the age of 2. 

Bottom line was we were both trying to find ourselves, Both were scared to share our dream with anyone, and felt bad at this Reoccurring dream that continued to happen, and Often,  I was Engulfed in this show as he spoke, about this house in his dream, as It was the house I to had dreamed about, Haunted, a mist,  the mother tragically dying, Trying to Escape. 

Come to find out, we were only trying to separate ourselves from our one parent that was our, well all,  we were trying to  sever the Bond that seemed to hold us back, It was NOT that we per say wanted Our mom dead but that we just wanted to Be free of the ties we held with her, She was Our Everything. 

I still love my mom more that anything, and I will never be able to thank her for all she has done for me.  I am who I am today because  she was there both mother and father. 

Ok so I Suck at baseball, But hand Me a Hockey stick and a bunch of Pissed Off chicks and a Puck and I am whoppin some ass… Yeah, I like me some hockey. 

So there is Todays Blog, Handy Isn't it?  I am sure You all will sleep better Now. 

Peace Out

February 23, 2012



I will let you go, I will let you carry on your life,

I will cope with my own,  deal with my own strife,

Hopes and dreams crushed, Tossed along the way

Past memories left in snapshots, no words left to say

Cold shoulders, empty rooms, all part of the plan,

silent regrets, miscommunications, but nothing to understand

Whispers in the night, Call out in the darkness inside,

Head against pillow, No one to confide,  it was then I cried,

I cried for yesterday, and then again for the day after,

My head filled with sorrow, missing the smiles and Laughter,

It is only the hope that one day, Someday it will pass,

Like the the sand slipping through the pinpoint, of an hourglass


Really Rob Thomas says it better

February 22, 2012

I’m Sorry I F*ucked Up


I am human, I know this because I Bleed, I cry (Shh don’t tell anyone) and well I make bad choices and hopefully learn the first time around. 

So being the human on the other end of an online avatar, My avatar is perfection, she is my version of perfection at least.  But on the other end, I am a human in my sweats and a tank top, listening to Neyo, Singing badly and well, Making bad choices. 

I don’t always think things out and just go with it.  I am a at the moment person, normally very kind and carefree, but the carefree portion can get me into trouble, since I do not ALWAYS think it out.

So I F*cked up…. It was a misunderstanding, that went very wrong, and I mean the total opposite of what it was meant to, and It broke my heart that the humor in it was not seen.   I am not a nasty person to begin with, especially to those I care about.  I try to make people laugh and at least smile.  Not always the case, Case and Point here. 

So, I apologized, I did many times… I meant every single one,  It was ripping my soul apart knowing that what was to be a stupid, silly joke had turned into a cold shoulder, Hurt feelings and well, just not what I was going for.

So being me, I took the blame, It was my doing, even though the intentions were not bad, It was not taken as I had planned it  and well, as the title says, I Really f*cked up. 

Hopefully now that my apology has been accepted, and we have promised to never bring it up again, we can move on.   They are the reason I am here,  the reason I have stayed and the reason I persevere through the other bull shit that being on any social media has to offer.  

I am Human, I have flaws like most, I make bad decisions, I don’t always do my hair, I sometimes drink from the milk carton and I lie to pass the eye test at the DMV.   I am far from Perfect.  The one thing I can always offer is a Non perfect girl, who is going to screw up at times, one that will back you even when everyone else is against you, I will stand next to you and proudly say you are My Friend.  I do not back down even when it gets rough nor when I look like a fool for doing so, Why, Because I am your friend and I am in it for the long haul. 

Sometimes even when your intentions are not bad, You have to step back, and accept defeat.  Accepting defeat is not a bad thing, It is an adult thing.  If you are old enough to do something to hurt someone, You need to be strong enough to apologize to them and mean it.   If you have someone that means that much to you, the least you can do is step up and admit your wrong. 

Lessons learned are more so when you are at fault, and in accepting your faults you grow, as you grow you can say you have become a better person.

Peace Out

February 21, 2012

Rest In Peace - Avatar


We have all met those who are the Dramatizers,  The ones sending out the notes to all their “Friends”  the ones that are basically screaming PLEASE talk to Me!    I have had a few over the years who claimed they were leaving for good, Even had a going away party…… No one ever leaves for good I always say.  We may change games, Make an alt or find another hobby for a while, BUT the few people we are close to can always reach us. 

I have a few hobbies I have not done in a While,  I used to draw and be really good… at houses… Ha ha.  But I decided to try anime,  Funny thing, I Own anime… Precious Moments are a type of anime.  It occurred after My first three Horrible sketches were complete.  Big eyes, Tiny Nose… about to cry.. My goal is to get decent enough to do a story board.  Now that is some cool shit.  I also took Up stick figure animation,  I laugh at My First Video… Oh my, it is a Bit chaotic.  It is about meeting people, lots, then as they all walk out you are left with that One person,  that one that matters.  Sometimes shit happens, but eventually they always come back together,  the end is them walking off the screen hand in Hand… I can tell U, I did get Hella Lot better at the end compared to the first 10 or 20 screens.   Amazing what the mind can do for busy time at work when your bored.

So back to topic.  would you even miss your friends list?  I highly doubt it,  Most people that are there you never talk to, I started to weed mine out a few Nights ago, I don’t even remember meeting these people.  None of them will remember me, I mean I have a Fantastic memory and If I do not remember them, I am a spec of dust on their puzzle pieces of a virtual world.

So I am going to be honest and say 1 person may miss me online… that’s it.  and although we do not share numbers etc, they know to email me and I would be right there.  I don’t take friendship for granted, nor would I let someone suffer knowingly.  It think that’s bull shit and maybe you need to look in the mirror at what type of friend you are.  I say that, but really some people are to “the sky is falling" AHHHH”   Ok,  I do not have friends like that….. Thankfully.  

My Profile has not changed a bit, it never will by much, maybe Ill put “Semi-Retired” or “Retired” just so if they perchance look me up, they know Hey!  I can safely delete them cause well they are NOT here.

What irritates me is the constant profile changing,  It is almost amusing, Like watching a soap opera every few days.

Day One – Fuck you people who hurt me, I don’t deserve this

Day 4 – You Know who you are and YOUR wrong… (Insert Name) is a total Bitch

Day 6 - I am tired of Being stepped on and used.   My heart has Been broken.. Beware

Day 10 - I am a Happy free spirit looking to chat dance and have fun, I love to shop and do Role Play….

HUH?  What the hell is this?  In 9 days?  No wonder it is hard to find the basket cases,  it changes daily… and I Mean Daily.

So I guess the bottom line here is,  for those who do leave any virtual world for whatever reason, Its Ok,  we all do, don’t make a huge deal, Walk away… sometimes a break is needed, sometimes Real life is calling, sometimes well,  It is not cold in Michigan!  Ha ha

For those I leave behind, those that I want contact with have more than enough avenues to do so. 

February 18, 2012

180 Degrees


So at one point I came back for a bit to be there for someone who asked.  I did not mind, They were and still are close to my heart.  It was out of friendship and the want to help.  Not sure I was helpful, But I held my own as the crap hit the fan towards me at least. 

Some people have to have some type of drama or someone to throw crap at to be happy.  I am not that person.  I run.  Hence I step out again.  It is not that those friends mean nothing to me, No, I did my part back then and once I am not needed, wanted or whatever, I can and am able to walk away. 

Funny how conversations can go from


To This in no time


If I am needed again, I am sure I will hear something, from someone, Via Skype, text or Inworld message.  It will ultimately happen.

Some people come into our lives and bless it others leave their foot prints on their way out.  Both are not a bad thing.  ether way you are a better person, you were able to grow from knowing them, that is if you allowed yourself to. 

Funny how time changes everything, Be it a person, action or something that was said.  I myself try not to do a 180 on people, and If I do, they know why.  Others tend to change but are not into the reasoning behind the actions.  Make the rest of us guess, Wonder or assume, and we all know where assuming gets us,  Nowhere.  But sometimes that is all we have. 

I have been able to look back on past friendships and without any emotional attachment anymore been able to understand the circumstances better, Why? even if it was never said out loud.  I am sure I am partially right if not more. 

Logically I can look back on things said, Done and most often, NOT done and say, Ahhhh, that is why. 

So for all my Secondlife friends out there, and even those just on Facebook, If my attitude changes at all, It is that I am mirroring yours to mine.  If I act cold and distant, It is because you are that towards me.  I feel no need to be all warm and fuzzy towards those who have given me their 180. 

It is always a good time to move the fuck on, Don’t you think?  Why stay where your not wanted or needed, and why for shits sake pretend you are. 

February 17, 2012

Freebies for Sale


Huh?  Secondlife has a market for everything, Including selling items that are FREE,  Yes FREE.  I have to give the people credit, They are making Linden, but how stupid do you feel after learning these items are at another 50 stores for free? 

Back In 2007 I remember there was a store called Wally World, It was a Spin off of a RL Store.  They had hundreds of items all priced 10 L or less.  It was my favorite place back then, I mean Id spend 200L of stuff, Luckily for you it is all still available at most of the free stores today and some Low Linden stores (1-25L) But what makes me mad is I remember spending 600L on a BMW Cycle, Gawd I thought I had the world by the prim balls, My pretty Prim bike, Until a month later I saw it for free at a freebie store for get this… FREE!


If say you were walking through a Large grocery store and see a sample of granola bars, Mini Subs or an energy drink,  they always ask “Would You Like to Try?.  It’s a free sample, right?  What if they said as you took it, That will be a nickel or dime?  I don’t know about you but I'm not paying for something that should be free…. If I meet new people I try to warn them but everyone gets caught up when they first start, unless they hang with the “Elite” oldies or have a RL friend helping them.  So 2007_001

I can remember LOVING RONJAS, they were so different so cool  looking, and had so many extras, Like whole outfits and cheap, then a few months later at a free shop I found every outfit I had paid 50L  for what price… Guess.  Yep , They were free.   Another I still see is Boas Boots,  WITH BLING…  OMG you have to be a newbie (used in a loving term) to appreciate the word BLING… I detest it now, along with glow.  Another Freebie I remember was BEST AS or maybe AS BEST and they all said FLEXI.. OMG  Really.. If it is in the description, I know NOT to buy the item now. 

So 2007_003

So next time you hit a store with REALLY cheap stuff that looks a bit like the above pictures, Look at another place, this stuff is free elsewhere… It is, you just have t have patience.  IF You want Better e Freebie stuff, try one of the blogs at the right of my blog, Most are Updated daily and not all the groups are ones you need to pay for. 

As a Disclaimer I DID search 10L stores and found some items that were NOT Freebie items,  Some of the designers just want to design and are not in it to make their mortgage, Just their tier. The best way to figure out the freebies from the original NEW designs I have found is if there is only one designer, they are taking and making all their ad photos and they will match.  Freebie places will have a Mish mash of crap from so many designers, Different years and numerous different picture types.  they use the same as the original box back in whatever year it was originated. Also if you right click the items in the box, the Creator will be different per different background and on some the creator is Not even available… To me that is just shady.

So 2007_002 

Back in the day and Ill bet even now, they had business in a box…  They some men's, woman's, furniture, textures Etc.  Most were available at random places for free but were combined and sold for 200-900L a pop.  Thankfully I never really wanted to be in that business.

So shop carefully and always remember, you don’t always get what you pay for in Secondlife, If your at a freebie store and you pay 10L… Your 10L poorer for a freebie item. 

Happy Shopping Smile 


Peace Out

Post Valentines …..



So Valentines day has come and gone, it was sweet for some, Not for others,  I myself called it a Tuesday. (Laughs) that way expectations were low.

I read somewhere that

“all the stores valentine displays were like cupid stabbing all the lonely people in the heart” 

That amused me.  So what did you do Inworld?   was there love?  Romance?  anything good? 


I always have love, but it is not the romantic type really, it is the companion type.  It is the we have known each other so long it is just there and no need to expect a damn thing type.  So I am sure if I was to have any expectations inworld I would be greatly disappointed.

Oh, But I did get a song, Such a sweet song. 

Calvin Harris

So I got this song sent me me on valentines day, I know it is not meant in the way the song says, they just thought I would like it, and they were right, I Love this song.  It is a New Favorite to add to my MANY I have. 

I smile as it plays, I think about good things and it makes me feel chill.  

So did you get any cool gifts for valentines day inworld?  I saw a Cool gift Ill Share here.

Matching Mirrors with Message capability.



Each person has a Mirror and can type out a message daily.  apparently this was a SNAFU,  Both people bought the mirror without the other knowing, BUT it worked out well since now they have their own space to write. 

Okay,  I am just going to post now,  Worked on this Blog yesterday  but had to check spelling Etc. today.  I hope everyone's valentines day went well and may your weekend be wonderful.

Peace Out

February 13, 2012

Have another, On Me!


Ahhh, it is midnight,  What have you drank?  Some of us are sipping on a cup of coffee, others a Soda (Pop where I am from) others, anything with the added benefit of alcohol. 

It is those people we grow to expect the random IMs from, they are looking for that Drunkin Virtual Bootie call.  a Warm Pixel Image in the night, a virtual stroke of the Ego and a no strings attached moment that will forever tarnish your IM Chat log.

I may not do this, but I have a few friends who do.  One is Infamous to just send a Smiley face, see If I say Hi (I have learned Better if I am busy), If I ignore, they vanish.  Another one does it but they start out with idle chat, then lean into it like peering through a window,  then after a while they log off with a IM note saying a shower is needed.  

What is astounding to me is that even when I am drinking, I still, in a virtual world of fetishes, Sex beaches and Fantasies, I can still keep my shit.   I am going to be completely honest by saying that there are a few that are very good at typing, I mean I have had that moment of, Well…….  But I always step back, and I have never once regretted saying no.  It has become my staple, Ok not NO.. I cushion it a bit.  Unless you’re a random dude IMing me, then a bit of Bitch comes out. 

I wish all of the Drunkin peeps well,  and I DO hope they  find their 15 minutes or one hour of happiness somewhere.   I am not totally a cold hearted bitch.  Back in the day I used to hit those “Low” places, just to see what people were saying In local, It amused me.  Because I know damn well the avatar is being controlled by one hand and there is desperation on that end. 

So, if you know me,  Don’t feel like you cannot IM me, I take it with a grain of salt, I do.  Honestly  it is some of the only interaction I get with some on my friends list (That is sad yes)  but the bottom line is, this is an adult world, what I do and to who I do it with is my business.  Although I may not play along, nor do I ever participate in the Alcohol induced pixel Olympics, I have nothing against the people that still try.  If I did, My friends list would be much smaller and well, not as entertaining on their nights of binge drinking. 

So to all you Pixel peeps out there,  Drink up.

*Gawd,  Who took my vodka,  Ehh Shit I drank it all last night*

February 11, 2012

The Emotionally Debilitating and Draining in Secondlife


We all have that friend,  The one who goes from Favorite to Freakin Basket case in 2 Seconds.  The smallest things can set them off, and they don’t seem to recover,  It is as if the emotions have super ceded their alter personality, the one we did like.

Emotionally Debilitating

These people seem to go in Cycles, Be it weekly, Monthly or quarterly,  But there is a pattern  So when ever that pattern is UP, You are now ether being their shoulder to cry on or trying to keep them sane from their own doings.  If you are not with them, you are against them… How dare you not side with them,  They are always right and you SHOULD follow their lead. 

calender Emotinally Draining people


They will claim to be hurt, the victim, or just plain sad because someone, Once again did something to them, But you being the sane person are going to have to recognize the pattern.  They are Oblivious to the fact that they seem to be the common denominator, since well,  In their world and that is the only one that counts, They are never wrong. 

It is human to error, It is just plain easy to learn from our mistakes if we take the time out to look at the past.  But wait, they are not going to do this,  Oh no, because they are the victims, claiming No one loves them, Everyone is against them and well, those that have walked away are the reason for their new found cycled sadness. 

Those that have walked are the sane ones,  they are the ones who have recognized the emotionally draining bullshit that lies beneath, and have choose not to be part of the cycle any longer  They are the ones who are no longer going to allow them to bring them down with you, so to speak. 

Once you allow yourself to  be roped into these people, you will  basically be their biggest fan, but after a few cycles it gets old, you start to question yourself,  Why am I  feeling like this, I should support them, I should back them.  It is like trying to back a Run away train, No matter what you do, it is going to come and all you can do is sit by and watch from a Far distance or stand close, bear the bull shit and damage then look back later and say “How many times is this going to happen?” 

The emotionally exhausting WILL take your energy away.  You will be left with feeling a bit less of a person after a bout of their depression, anger or Victimization.  Why?  I swear they steal it from you, to build up more momentum to keep up their roller coaster.  

So bottom line is, If you have that friend who tens to be teetering on the  line of a patterned dramatized secondlife.  They tend to run from one group to another, they lose and gain friends in a rotation,  They have Lots of stories about being the victim, and still seem bothered by it.  IF you leave your secondlife feeling emotionally weak after spending 2 hours trying to make them feel better….  You are in their emotionally engulfing  sea of pity. 

I read a Quote that said plainly “Don’t make a permanent mistake when your temporarily angry”

Those are words to live by, Keep friends by and well, Stay somewhat sane by Smile

February 10, 2012

Christion Dinzeo-The singing Prince

christion Dinzeo_001

It was late one night a few years ago.  My friend owned a club that he was getting live acts for.  I had nothing to do but stand there and well listen.  He was pretty picky about the acts, But threw on another act to see how he was.  Did I mention it was late?

Living in Secondlife every possible hour I was not falling asleep at the PC, and even some I was, I stuck around.  Everyone else left except for the owner and manager of the club. So He sang… He sang Josh Groban, Oasis, Rob Thomas, Garth Brooks, Frank Sinatra and a few Disney songs… I was hooked.  My friend who owned the club had to leave..

Go.. I said, I'm staying here… I was NOT going to leave, as long as he wanted to sing I was going to stay and I did.  Over the years he has  come and gone, I have come and gone, We both somewhat kept in touch. 

I randomly logged into SL to send something to a friend,  what was going to be a 5 Min thing turned to 30 as I arrived a TP arrived, Labeled

“I'm Singing”

I am not going into detail about much except that he is Really Good!  He has a sweetness about him that emulates through his music, He wears his heart on his sleeve.  Probably a bit more cautious now being no longer a noob in Secondlife and seen it all, His talents are far from ordinary.  I Long ago nick named him the Singing Prince, I am sure I am not alone.

I of course sat there, My headset on, listening contently with the 25 other people there,  He has a fan base, I am just one of the many that have found him and not let him go.  I told him I was using him for his body, Er I meant his voice,  He laughed.  I was not joking… Ha ha Ok, maybe I was, He is a friend, and I am a fan of anyone who does something well, regardless. 

So Christion, Please never stop, you are one of few in Secondlife I love to hear, be it country, adult contemporary or top 20, you have a gift that I envy you for.  Your talent exceeds many I have heard.  All the best wishes and success,


Peace Out

February 9, 2012

I’m Meshy and I Know it….


So I finally installed the Mesh viewer Firestorm.  I have been through so many viewers and so many upgrades, If I was a Type A personality I would have a twitch in body parts that have not yet been named by the AMA.  I am usually pretty good with change, although I do prefer Phoenix over them all, I can and do have an option to see mesh now, and I was able to figure out how to search.. NOT loving that it being on the web, a lot seem to get lost.  It is slow as far as loading the response.  I am not on enough to say I am going to be a Firestorm trooper, but if I do get the urge to see something other than mindless Ovals attached to avatars, I have that choice.   I hear a lot of the avatars are Pretty cool that you can get, and even visited a Mesh Shape store.  I guess those are cool, I mean, IDK, I love my shape.  NEVER changing… Ok maybe I am a Bit of a Type A personality.  

All in all, it was a lot like the Official SL viewer, It is not as Old school user friendly, I Hate pictures… Give me words.. I mean I'm not a Derelict.  I felt the same way about Office when they went “User Friendly”  IDK what a Squiggly line with an arrow and a square means, But Edit, Format etc are well.. Self Explanatory.  

So I am a Meshy now,  Only way I know stuff is mesh is by them not rezzing for me, So next learning curve is they are meshy and I know It…

Happy Rezzing.

My Sad Ass Valentines List


What the hell,  I mean what are people thinking, bypassing a day to be sweet, I mean its one one day right, and you could probably go back to asshole status and they would still accept you, since they already are.  

Here is my list of things NOT to do for valentines day.

1.  Do NOT find a friend of the opposite sex to kick it with till yours is around.  That is just poor judgment.

2.  Do NOT expect them to work harder on your gift than you will theirs… If all you did was search for valentines day and grab a gift, Expect the same from them.

3.  Do NOT listen to how sappy people may think you sound,  are they the ones filling your SL void.. No.

4.  Do NOT make them work for your affections,  Forget this, on NO day should they have to do this,  Gawd, If you make someone do this, You’re a total loser anyway and deserve to be alone.

5.  Do Not…. You know what,  I feel like this blog has already been written, maybe not for valentines day, but here it is, Read and reread, it applies to everyone, not just me…

Your valentine will thank you later

  • If you are talking to me, Seeing me, and  spending time with me on a daily basis,  and then for a week Just Crawl into a Virtual hole and pull away from me, Let me Reintroduce you to the single life because apparently I am  capable of doing it on my own, because you may as well not even be there.  I do make leeway for planned absences or even ones I have knowledge about at the last Minute, But last I looked I am not a Psychic nor will I pay one to try to figure your ass Out.
  • If you have said that you Love me for who I am, accept who I am, Not just the Pretty Pieces, I don’t have time to be your trophy girlfriend, Nor am I willing to be put on a shelf till it is convenient for you to “Deal” with. If I get emotional regardless of the reason, Don’t become a total dick, I do have feelings and I Plan in sharing IF I am with you. If you don’t want to hear them, I Am not your girl, Try or just stay alone, I am completely fine with ether of those options.
  • If you are capable of getting upset with me for not Communicating, I have every right to be upset after you are Unable to even come see me, call me, Write me, Skype me, Send a carrier Pigeon to communicate with me. Double standards do not work for me, Unless of course there is cheese cake on both tables, then ether choice I am good with, Otherwise, you can take your Un communicative ass to someone who is just as distant and difficult.
  • If you respect me, then do so, Don’t say you do, then Dis-respect me by calling me uncalled  names, Last I looked I was out of high school, and I try to date only people with a brain, and I am sure there is a Multitude of other ways you can express what your saying.  Given benefit of the situation, an apology will be taken on an as needed basis, But  in order for that to take effect, you have to apologize, NOT Post essays on a Facebook  page as to why I am the names for all to see….. That is what I call an #EpicFail at being Human, Respectful, Decent, Oh I could go on but you get the drift, and Once again, My delete Button on Facebook is not that hard to press, Nor is the relationship status bar.  Welcome to Singledom
  • If you are Incapable of showing me affection, due to your incessant need to be needed by many, If I cannot make you want to show me attention, there is no need here to try,  I am not into the So-Do-Ku of relationships, I don’t have time to figure out what goes where, If it is not plainly apparent, Cut our loses and move on.
  • If you are to egotistical to realize that you are losing me, so be it, I don’t do call backs, I don’t want drama, I just want Peace, and that includes peace of mind that I have done the right thing, I regret only Few things, But to this date, a Break up is Not on the list so don’t think I secretly am hiding out waiting for you to come back so I can apologize.
  • If you consider me just a (For lack of better words) Bootie call, Please let me help you out with a 800 number, I am sure they would be happy to help you get your rocks off, I am not here for your pleasure, nor will I ever be, at this point you have been selected to go out with the rest of the trash I have accumulated today, Thank you for shopping.
  • If you cannot accept that I do think about sex on a daily basis, I may even want to talk, text or write about it, then please go lock your cold ass back up in the incubation chamber you came from,  maybe in 100 years Sex will not be an issue, Better yet, go watch funny youtube videos for the next 40 Years, We will see who is happier after that.
  • If you cannot stay faithful, Meaning Exclusive, Partnered, Honest please get the hell off my property, I have frequent people professing their appreciation for my landscaping and Ornaments, I don’t need any pieces of shit cluttering up my lawn, If I want that, I’ll get a dog.
  • Last but not least, I am a Princess, In my own right, I deserve to be treated as such just as much as you deserve to be treated like a prince, if you cannot at least meet or exceed these expectations, I ask that you leave my kingdom of Fresh made S’Mores, Cherry Cheesecake and Whipped cream streams. Yes you may miss it, But don’t worry, I am sure you will find another sucker to take your ass in.

  • The Gorean Valentine



    So I’m blogging about the Valentines stuff and get a message.  It is a Friend of mine, who is my polar opposite.  He is Into Gorean stuff, on some high up position, a Slave master, trader, or something of the sorts.  After chatting a bit, He asks what I'm doing.  I say I’m doing a quick blog on Valentines day, Then asked what he was going to do for… [Insert any name you like] 

    He had planned nothing, and had no plans…… I can’t do anything he said. 

    Me: Umm.. Can’t or won’t?

    After some chatting a while it became apparent that not only was he torn, but that he did want to partner her. She was far from the Gorean lifestyle he held, and he said his village (Er whatever U call it) would lose respect for him if he were to partner her.  He would lose his “Standing”

    [Insert What the Fuck Look here]

    Long story short, they meet a few months after joining last year at a club, some jazzy place.  They had been the best of friends, Let along shared scripted objects in the Virtual darkness of secondlife. 

    My first question is… Why stay with the lifestyle if they cannot accept you

    Because I enjoy the role play, It is more like a family.. Yada yada

    Next Question….. Why is she still with you?

    Ok, Here is my bitch coming out… I am sorry but if I am with you, I am being faithful to someone, for ANY reason, they had better have the balls to claim my ass.   I am not asking for Hovering text but for shits sake, Grow a set

    Ok, Coming from a Female,  I am going to say…

    1.  If you want to play games and pretend your not with me… I can play the same game just as easily…  It is a 2 way street here.  So I feel like, Well, She is free to go and find someone who WILL Toss her a bone and claim the good intentions, this guy is scared to show

    2.  If he loses her, due to his lack of backbone, balls.. Eh whatever part you think fits, It will be on him.   Knowing her, she may be hurt in the end, but I know she is not a total idiot and will eventually catch onto his little Hide and seek game. 

    3.  I told him if any of his friends have an issue with whom he selects as a Girl friend, Partner.. WHATEVER…  They were not friends to begin with, now were they.  Yeah it is rough when you have friends that may not accept your choice, but really if they cannot accept, is that not their problem?   Not yours…. Who's happiness are you going for here.  I am speechless. 

    Sooo.. after a short chat, he actually saw my point of view.  I told him, it is like his slaves he deals with.  If a master does not Claim her, she is free to go RIGHT??? 

    I am far from the gorean lifestyle as much as he tries to pull me that way, But common sense is international… right?   Ok, Ok,  It is not,  but no worries cause I am happy to point out the Obvious. 

    Soo,  To close the story out, He is getting her a ring,  I wish them all the happiness in the Virtual world, and well, to those people that do not understand, do not like or have an issue,  I suggest you go judge the one person your supposed to, Yourself and let the rest live out their life as they see fit.


    Peace Out

    February 8, 2012

    Love, Jewelry and JCNY


    So I did a blog on stuff for valentines day, BUT  I went a step Further, 20 Minutes time, I grabbed some great gifts, some a Bit Pricey, BUT some not so much.  These are all JCNY Collection,  I have to say I LOVE their Jewelry and it is well made even after a few years it will still look great on your avatar.

    JCNY  has this personalized area,  they start at around 2500L,  But really, Is there a Price on Love?..  They are SOOO Worth it right….


    JCNY True Love

    Ok,  This is a Mere 5K in Secondlife, With Engraving… Ok , Ok, I know we are NOT all Rich,  So Ill go a Bit lower,  But this is their New release, and Very pretty .. She will Love you 5 K more after, I guarantee.


    Moving onto to a bit cheaper stuff for our average big spender,  these caught my eye, all priced between 1199 and 2K all very pretty, with a ton more……

    JCNY Athena

    Ok Maybe the Athena is Not my Favorite, BUT a lot of girl would go bat shit over this, If you want to find out…  Save your Lindens

    JCNY Noir Love

    Yeah, this is more my style and the ones below,  I Love black diamonds, says I am not your usual Partner, It says… I am special.. Hella lot special than well noone okay, but in my mind, I just feel that

    OJCNY Nations Princess

    Ahh the Princess…  I own Tiaras that would go well with this,  Look em up on marketplace,  You can send one as a gift to go with the new “Princess” Ring… Nice!

    JCNY Promise


    So you like em a lot, but cannot take the plunge yet?  C mon put your Big girl/boy pants on…. Or your other option is the promise ring,  Still very sweet and sentimental and just an FYI,  the next set will be brought up in a month… remember Secondlife is on a Fast paced calendar so do not be surprised when they are looking at other rings



    JCNY 10 L

    Yes,  We all have the poor days,  where we have well nothing but our love to give…  BUT JCNY has a solution,  the 10L rings,  Maybe not as fancy or anything but it is a JCNY right?  very near these rings they also have free gifts…  I pounced all over those like a Kitten on a pile of catnip…..  Nom Nom Nom….

    There is a few ways to make sure your valentines goes as planned,  10L can easily be made, and really they are worth at LEAST that much. 

    Wishing you a happy shopping experience and if you fine other great places, Please hit me up in world.  Gracias

    February 7, 2012

    Day of the Dead


    Day of the dead

    Ok, I'm a bit off, I am ether REALLY early, Or very late… But hey I get to it when I can right.

    Day of the dead (Día de Muertos) Celebrated November 1-2 it is placed around the catholic All saints day and all souls day (Halloween).  The Festivities are planned all year around,  Buying trinkets, Tequila, Marigolds (also known as Flor de Muerto  "Flower of the Dead") and toys for the children that have passed on (los angelitos) the Little angels. 

    Some places wear costumes made of shells, it is thought that as they dance, the shells will make a noise, enough to wake up the souls and bring them back, even if just for the day to hear the prayers of those that are living.  Masks are usually of skulls as is the shapes of the food (Usually cookies with frosting made into bones) .

    Day of the dead is a way for the living to keep the deceased alive, It is thought that they come back and eat the food made and left out for the galas, and even if ate by those living, the Nourishment is taken out buy the souls visiting that day (Sounds great although I don't think calories are depleted)

    Altars are common also, Leaving pictures, Memories and written items from the deceased, and is something that even the government offices do in many countries, having celebrating and and small altars made for those that are employees.  Recently the day of the dead has become   a day to also remember soldiers, making altars to commemorate those lost in battle. Although it may not be a National holiday in America, In Arizona and Texas are known for their celebrations.

    The rest of us are left with Halloween, My personal Favorite holiday, Although most schools frown on Death related costumes, it is a day for the children to gather candy (Which was good luck for the children, I mean when is getting candy bad, Unless its from a stranger in a van?) 

    This year, I will celebrate Day of the dead, like those who really know what it is, at the cemetery, cleaning grave sites of family, Bringing them Flowers and  leaving small items for them.  Halloween will always remain my Favorite holiday, Now I just have even more of a reason to celebrate, Those I have lost, that still mean the world to Me.

    Valentines Day Ideas

    Valentines Day: A day for those who have that special someone to devote their love with Notes, candy, Heart shaped candies and other Means.

    In secondlife, Love makes the Metaverse go around, It is part of the romance in a virtual world.

    Top things to do for your Valentine in Secondlife that I have found are:

    1.  Take them out to a club and dedicate a few Love songs to them…. Don’t Be stingy, have the DJ say it not tell them In IM … that’s just sad.

    2.  Take them to a Jazz club after taking them out for a New outfit and dance the Night away, Tell them how wonderful they are In Local chat…

    3.  Take a walk in a Garden, watch the sunset or rise depending on your time zone.

    4. Profess your love, Make a step to the next level if its from Friends to dating, dating to engaged, or just jump in and partner… I mean what's the worst that can happen.. Right?

    5.  Have some professional pictures done of the two of You

    6. Write them a Poem or song

    7. Make it a romantic movie night and chill on your prim couch

    8.  Have some Flowers delivered with a sweet Message

    9,  Show them how much you care by telling the whole Metaverse… That would be on the front of your profile if your clueless

    10.  Hmm I guess I forgot One Important thing… Say “I Love you”

    Those are My Top choices for things for Valentines day, Being around for a while,  I have done a few of these, and not always on valentines day.   I Wish everyone a Blessed week and may all your prim hearts be full with Love and Happiness.

    The Start



    I think of you and smile,  You are my heart and soul

    After all this time and madness, the years never took its toll,

    You can read my thoughts as if, they were always your own,

    as if time has stood still, with you I am never alone,

    I guess it always was, as it is to be right now,

    For through all the bad and good, we survived somehow,

    Where this road shall take us, where we will stop on the road,

    Only time will tell, as todays, tomorrows Unfold,

    As we walk together, Beside or hand in hand,

    Thank you for being you, I hope you understand,

    My life has never been, the same since the day we met,

    There is to many good memories, to ever have a regret,

    For now I leave this open, as I cannot tell you the end,

    But I can say I love you, You are my very best friend

    February 5, 2012



    Does my perseverance bother you,

    That I am now who you miss?

    That I am strong enough to grow apart,

    That I can again, rise above all this?

    Is there a jealousy hidden,

    Behind your heart of stone?

    Is is obvious that I can Make it,

    Rise above all this alone?

    Can you see my that my heart has healed,

    that I have no pain, not anymore?

    Can you see that holding me down,

    Only made me rise a little bit more.

    Does the fact I am still stronger,

    and a bit colder than yesterday,

    Help you define the fact that I, Myself,

    Shall rise no matter what you say,

    Can you accept the defeat,

    Can you watch as time flies

    No matter what is said and done,

    I will once again rise

    The Wall


    So sad the silence, So true the test of time,

    Leaves Us a bit blinded, music's a bit out of rhyme,

    Shadows of what was there, Notions we thought were true,

    Clouds clutter up the skies, that once seemed so clear and blue,

    Pieces falling so close, but never quite fitting together,

    Displacing all we thought, and rejecting the word forever,

    Bypassing any mention, Of happiness and romance,

    blocking out the gentle whispers, choosing not to dance,

    Creating a tiny world, One where we do not belong,

    Denying the fact that the answers lie, Only looking for the wrong,

    Granting my only sanity, giving into the one true heart,

    But more likely to run and hide, Before it can even start,

    Please give me a reason, show me a sign, something to hold Onto,

    Fo regardless of my distance, I will always believe in you

    Secondlife Dating



    Visiting a dating service in Secondlife, was, well, amusing….  I am kind of sorry that I did not get pictures of the 30 random pictures on the wall, ( note I went back to get a few)  the hovering text above them and in stealth mode I grabbed Notecard upon notecard to crawl into these people minds. 

    Most just filled out the cards in accordance to their Secondlife, Namely





    Meeting new people

    Others went out on a Limb and stated their Deepest desires

    I has a GF, but we are looking for another girl to join us

    Someone to love me for Me….

    and My Personal Favorite

    Sexual Emotion….  I am not quite sure where that one is going but I am thinking of a Stalkerish cyber relationship here.

    They also were asked, what are you looking into in a partner

    Can be Online a Lot (Must be Looking for the Unemployed)

    Loyal (Won’t Cheat on me)

    Understanding (But can cope if I cheat On you)

    Funny (make me laugh)

    Independent (Is able to find things to do while I am on an alt cheating)

    Caring (Will listen to my drama and side with Me)

    Adventurous (Would be willing to cyber with me and a few other people I found while you were offline)

    and finally

    Can love me for being Me (I have lots of drama, and people tend to run fast so… Deal)

    All these Fantastic options above were between men's and women's Cards as me and my friend (Who happens to be a Member there)  delved into the short list of the same thing.

    So here is a List of the questions:

    What are you looking for? If this was me,  It is not because my set of pixel balls would never have the needs for more random date requests.

    What do I Want,  I want it all, I want the smiles and the laughs, I want the game playing the Movie watching, the Music listening Kind of nights  I want the hand holding, the the pillow fighting, the endless hours of nothing filled with everything and more above the before listed,


    Oh One of the questions was… Do you want SL kids…..

    Some said yes some No, and a few, Depends

    I am a flat out No on this one,  Last thing I want is some extra prims on my lot for a baby, and  really I have a Lil one in RL, why would I want to duplicate that in a virtual world, let alone adopt a 42 year old dude playing out a 5 year old girl with a Love foe Lollipops and playgrounds.   To me this just screams WRONG!

    So as I said earlier,  My friend is there, Looking for Er, I use that term, Looking, Very Loose.  But none the less looking for a female that is not a total SL cyber whore, One with a strong mind, good sense of humor, and well, someone who can be their peanut butter to their jelly. 

    It is so complicated having to click each picture, Read the Notecards and then saying of yes!   I Like you…. then you click the board and it tells them one person likes you.. But who Oh Hell we are not telling you that,  way to Much TMI,  also, you are limited to the amount of Boxes available there and you are only matched up if you both click like on each other.

    While I was there a Male avatar IMd me, SHOCKER…. He wanted a Nice girl to hang with,  I ended up giving him 75 Linden to get set Up,  Now if that is a I’m not interested, go bother someone else, I'm not sure what is….  Funny thing is the one girl that was there who actually IMd my friend ended up leaving with him,  as he said, the few that may have had a chance put themselves out of the running without trying. 

    All in all the concept is good, I think there should be some assistance thought with the writing of these things, Most seem like a copy paste job, No thought put into it.  But then, Eh My opinion.

    For those Looking, Best of luck and as I told the dude who was looking for a Nice girl to talk to, Once you take away the Males playing females, the Drama Queens and the Cyber Whores, there is 3 Nice girls left online ….. Good Luck!

    February 4, 2012

    Loves Defeat



    Sometime the words, They don’t come out the way they should,

    You hide from rejection, Not do things you usually would,

    Funny no one wants to get hurt, but we all seem to fall,

    We seem to grab a hold of them, and for that moment stand tall,

    Cautious and calculated we walk, we plan out tomorrow,

    all the while hoping, that it does not fall and cause us sorrow,

    I guess some things take time, takes time to share and believe,

    Get past the second guessing, the constant Fear of being deceived,

    I am not one to tread fast, I am not one to push the bar,

    I would rather walk away, than to allow myself to get to far,

    So once the words feel right, and once it seems to fit in so sweet,

    We may say them in a jumbled mess, accepting loves defeat,

    Grabbing for hope, and hoping for them to concede,

    Letting out how they may have felt, it is that I Believe,

    is the moment of truth, between two lost hearts,

    The acceptance of the feeling, and never wanting to be apart.

    February 1, 2012

    Going Home

    Going Home… it is not always a location, but a place in your mind, It is a feeling of acceptance and complacency.  It can be a Smell, a smile or a person, It can be a Memory  a lost moment in time. 

    Dylana wishing On a Star

    In Secondlife, I have a Home,  It is what I have called home for 6 years now, It is my virtual escape from reality.  It is whatever I make it, and I do change it a lot…..But even though it is mine, It is the memories there that make it home,  It is the late nights spent talking about music, movies, People and other things with my online family.  The lot itself is not home,  they are.  I could be anywhere and if they are there I am home,  a place where I want to be, a place that I can nestle in and be complacent. 

    It is funny, because there is very few people that can take me “Home” but those that can, have always been there, even if just on my list of online friends.  Even when I am not online, they are there,  they are not just a virtual thought but a real human with warmth, compassion and a heart of gold. 

    It is funny that when I tend to stay close to “Home”  others ask me why I am so quiet,  I am not quiet to everyone, just to those that are not with me.  It is not a contest, It is hands down, that one person who can make me smile, accept me and just chill.  Home is where the heart is right?  It is where we hang our hat, regardless of the location.  Home is a frame of mind.

    If anything, I  love to be home, I love to be me, and I appreciate those that take me there.  But most of all, I appreciate those that allow me to make my home part of theirs.

    Peace Out

    Not so Black and White


    black n white blog

    So I did a blog on relationships, called That Gray Shaded area But I left out a side, The side everyone else Presumes.  A relationship Is a 2 way road, But Be it friendship Dating, Serious or not, People will have their opinions.  Most are from what they see, Hear and notice, others from what you tell them, Others just out of pure speculation.  So now we are at a Square, No longer a triangle. 



    No matter what you do you cannot stop this from happening,  It is human nature to come to a conclusion based on their interactions with them, Regardless of it was good, bad or just plain Hideous.

    Chatting to a friend about a couple her comment was

    “They were always perfect together” 

    Funny because they are no longer together, But that does not stop them from having an opinion.  Not that I disagree with them or their opinion, I actually do agree, But once again it is a 3rd party viewing at this Point. 

    So here it is, that gray shaded area has 2 areas, the reality and the assumptions that others place on that relationship.  It is usually the 3rd party references that have the rumors, the insinuations and sometimes they may be dead on, but one thing is for sure,  It does not matter who you  are but your actions or lack there of will be tallied for later assumptions, and judged by others.  So get on your game face and make it worth the rumor.

    Peace Out

    January 19, 2012

    What is Love?


    Once in a while in a lifetime, You find your equal half,

    It no longer is a complex problem, But simple emotional Math,

    It is connecting and sharing,  grabbing each moment as gold,

    It is not all about one thing, But letting it naturally unfold,

    It is trust and communication, It is giving that person space,

    It is about all the between, Not the outcome of a race,

    It is the sweetness and the warmth, it is the accepting all before,

    It is not looking for perfection, It is loving the imperfections even more,

    It is the honesty and the moments that are not always a hallmark card,

    It is effortlessly just being, Not making it to easy or to hard,

    It is wanting to see the other, being happy by their smile,

    It is wanting them to be happy, It is going the extra mile,

    It is the small things that You do, Seeing the little things they can be,

    It is holding onto their heart, Yet letting their soul fly free,

    It is complete acceptance of their being, and loving them at their worst,

    It is never discounting their feelings, always putting them first,

    It is one of the most sought after feelings, Especially when its true,

    It is a wonder why you choose me, Same as I chose you.