The last few days I have been exploring a lot of minds, 3 in fact, on their views on love, sex and relationships in secondlife. I am really close to all of these people and I know none are going to bullshit me and tell me what I want to hear, Because My opinions are far from theirs.
The First I talked to was a Sim owner, a sexual prowler who is into Gorean lifestyles and Dominating their prey. By force and pleasure they that what they want and then pass the girl on or maybe keep her till a new flavor comes along.
The second, yet another Sim Owner who needs to not feel as if they are classified by titles, One who wants their cake, but to stop by a different bakery when more convenient or maybe more satisfying.. One that may use uber discretion, but only because they refuse to devote their secondlife to one person. It is easy to keep things secret when no one knows to begin with
and Finally #3
A guy into BDSM, a Master who does believe in love, and faithfulness, but who has choose a open relationship that is so they can both find love, sex, fulfillment in other places when they want. He says BDSM is about Trust and not manipulation or domination, and that it is a fully committed relationship besides the fact they frolic amongst with others.
6 hours and Many Emotes later, I have gotten to the point where me and the gorean are being completely honest, I called Him Boy, He did not like that so much, I did.. I told him, life to me may not always be equal but it is give and take, and In the gorean lifestyle, it is take all and give when it is benefiting you. We talked for, well as stated, 6 hours, past relationships, Long distance affairs, and being totally blown away by some peoples actions. Once again I called him boy.. NOT a term used to a gorean slave master, that is not cool, Or in gorean terms acceptable, But I am not gorean, I am his friend, and I am not out to win a prize, steal his heart, I am here to dig into his knowledge and find out what I can learn. He after some banter and horseplay finally divulged to me that he was a dominating person in RL, He had a twisted look at sex and the Kinkier the better, the more people the better, the odder the moment the better. He is not out for love, or even a connection, He is out for the moment with any unsuspecting slave he can grab or on his Main Avi a FWB (Friend with Benefits) he can get to satisfy the late nights of Secondlife. He is a master of emotes as We traded a few to show our unique writing skills, and both, although dominating, were equally as good as the other. He has a few slaves, of which he plays with openly, but that is the nature of his choice, it is like the polygamy of secondlife. After chatting for so many hours, I knew him enough to know our differences were although at ether side of the spectrum, were respected, I knew I was not going to make him into Prince charming and he was NOT going to collar me and sell me off at a sim auction, That and I still called him boy… (Smirks). At the end of the night it was 4 AM, we were both very tired and needed to get some sleep, but the honesty was refreshing, and he then laid one more golden moment on me. I will be the only girl in Secondlife he would allow to call him boy….. As if without his permission I was going to stop…..
My opinion is this, he has set his expectations low for a reason, So they are not intrusive of his playing around so he is technically not hurting anyone with so many partners since it is the nature of his lifestyle, . As much as I may disagree with the lifestyle as a whole, I cannot fault him for being completely honest and just enjoying his secondlife out in the way he saw fit his needs, and there is not emotions attached since he does not stay with anyone for long periods of time. I believe that one day he will meet his match and she will become his FC (Free Companion) or FW (Free Wife) and that emotions will get stirred, but there is only time to tell that. He may be strong willed, but everyone has one thing in common, we all fall for love at some point.
Next we have the 2nd Sim owner with benefits. Probably the smartest of all of them only because they have a no strings policy, and there is not a single mention or bond anywhere to be seen. He is able to do anything at anytime, without a single person knowing. traveling through their Secondlife with no intentions of ever being titled, claimed or partnered. They claimed to have feelings for certain people, but that it was between them and that person, no one else needed to know. Also that they were able to do as and be with anyone they pleased, even if they usually ended up back with the same person at some point. Talking to him is like talking to someone at a fully paid day at an amusement park, You want to hit every ride and then keep going back to your favorite because, well why not, It is all paid for, each ride has its perks, and they are all fun, He has no hang ups on having bonds with people and still not claiming them. It is as simplistic as a temporary tattoo it washes off after a while and forgotten. For this is what makes him tick, knowing if someone does get hurt, the rules were laid out properly, and not promises made, he has no intentions of hurting anyone, including himself.
He has the world in his opinion, it is so simple and sweet with no strings, titles nor definitions of any one which relationship attached and yet he does have strings. True it is as platonic as it can get, but having any type of bond with someone will cause some type of expectations on ether side of the spectrum. If those expectations are not met, they will be found else where and that emotional bond will eventually become an anchor or a broken heart. The structure is set up purely as a way of getting around not being committed to anyone person so guilt is never an issue but happiness is. I believe his Best of Intentions will backfire eventually, that the No expectations with a emotional bond will bring him to the realization that sometimes when everything seems so simple, it only muddies the water, leaving you searching for a cleaner cut model, it is then that the simple rules that have been placed for a drama free, no committal relationship becomes the very same reason those bonds become the thing that hurts you in the end. It is human nature to succeed, If you are playing a game to win, and it is fun to play, but you know that in the end, the game is rigged so there is no chances of a prize, eventually the game is going to get old and you will find a new game to up your chances that you can at least get a big stuffed bear from and snuggle with.
The BDSM Slave Owner shockingly the most emotional of them all, he is genuine about his emotions and he is very attached to his significant other. He is completely fine with her infidelities, except they are not infidelities since that is part of the structure in their relationship. If both of them are on, they are together, If not, they play.with whomever they please.they are not partnered due to the nature of their relationship, But they are prominent in each profile along with a general waiver of free to play. It is a open relationship of Love, trust and well, sex with others, He says that BDSM is more of a trust and bond, than any other relationship, and that a master slave relationship is a very beautiful thing. That as a slave it does not make you less, It makes you more. When you give yourself to a master it is out of love and trust to the fullest. I know both of them and they seem very happy for the moment.
Okay, Maybe I don’t get the BDSM thing, I don’t want someone telling me what to do all the time, nor do I want to tell someone what to do, But going onto the other end of the Master slave trader spectrum, I am sure there is people who want to be dominated, told what to do and to like it. I know that all BDSM is not Whips and chains, nor is it bruising and pain, but it still does not give me Incentive to sign up for a master tomorrow and call it a day on having an opinion. I truly believe he is an exception to the rule, as far as emotions go and how he and her communicate, which is get “Me” and want 50/50. Although not partnered they are one as a couple, and very open about it, when they play, they play as a different avatar and go back to one another when they log in. their expectations are only that, they be together when possible and to enjoy when the other is not there. I think if any of these will not fail it is this one, it has complete honesty to it, and playing, and titles and emotions. It is a new way of the old standard, Minus the drama, which I know they still have, because , well they are Human.
Now to me, the Anti sex girl who was at one time fully committed to a RL/SL guy, who remained faithful and well near the end treated like a gorean slave at a slave traders auction. I still believe there is one person out there, one who actually want to claim me for their own. My expectations are not high, But they are not of the open relationship, FWB, Master slave type. I am the cookie cut out, sweetheart, who all love to try to get, but I run to quickly, it is a defense mechanism, I call sanity. I keep everyone at arms length, I may let you in for an hour, but that doors closes quickly after, and then it has to be unlocked again, I was once told “You are the most beautiful protected wall covered in amazing paintings", If only you would let me see the other side”. Very few see my other side, I only let them in for a bit then I pull away. I do this for my own sanity, So I to am not in the line of fire. I have saved friendships, and relationships this way, It is common for people to cling to one person, we all do, but it is another to put all your eggs in a basket that is not your for the taking.. I am the last to say I love you, and the hardest to get for other things, Minus the collar, plus the passion. I don’t jump first and ask later, I call it as I see it, and I may seem open, but really tomorrow I will be a closed book again. Men as a whole, at least in my experience don’t want the leachy girl, Nor do they want to be bombarded with BS. I stay until it is no longer beneficial for me or I see the forest through the trees, the outcome of a broken heart, then I walk before it happens, I use my poetry to get out whatever feelings I have, and let them not interfere with my decisions that sometimes can be hard if clouded with all the love crap. Love by definition is a value put on another Person or object that makes them or it far out weigh any other options or feelings you have ever been given. I was told last night guys like the “Idea of me” I am apparently an Idea now. But then he went on to explain, I am the one that is out of reach mostly to all, I am single and carefree, and my painted wall is not bad to look at, Ok I added the wall part in there, he said it differently,
So I will sit and wait patiently for Prince charming, Knowing that it will be more like Shrek showing up and I will be patient. it is all you can do in days where people are so busy rewriting the rules to fit to their own needs, as I have done mine. Mine are no less important, but just maybe I need different friends to hang with… Laughs……..
Signed Off,
Friend To many, Love Of None
