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June 30, 2011

The Convenience Factor


We all Do this, We Devalue Ourselves, By allowing others to treat us Bad, yeah, maybe we are not sitting in a box on the sidewalk, but we m might as well be. When we allow others to walk all over us and accept it for what it is, we are basically saying :Its Ok, this is fine to treat me Like [Insert Word which applies to you] in my mind the word is “Shit”.


I am not one to take things personal, emotionally I am pretty hard to get to, but sometimes we all need an eye opener.


Clarification – The moment you see the light, the time when reality of the situation is clear and you understand the underlying circumstances.


I for one am worth more than a fleeting thought, I am in fact worth a Hell of a lot more than a One night stand and maybe a second thought. I am the Princess, Of my own world of course, and if you cannot step up and accept my kingdom, Be a Prince and treat me such, You have just been Knocked down a few Notches.


Basically put, Don't treat people like they are Disposable, because bottom line is you are just as disposable as they are, you can be replaced and quite easily I might add. My Feelings toward you may not change BUT my attitude sure will. I have had my fair share of friends who only seem to want to talk to me when It is Conveniant, and really, That is completely fine, BUT the bottom line is do not expect me to drop everything for you when I am in your time line of convenience when it is not a 2 way street.


Fairness – It may not always Be 50/50 BUT it is give and take, and if you give me Bullshit, I am happy to give it back


Ok, I know I am not a Victorias Secret Model, BUT I am not a Complete Dog ether, and honestly, If you can manage to think I have no one else to spend my time with, you are far from the truth. If I choose to spend the majority of my time with you for whatever reason, take that for what it is, Which Is A LOT.


Bottom Line – Once again Logic wins on this one, Logic is a beautiful thing, because it sees through the Bullshit and if 1+1=4, something is wrong, and I am more than accepting to fix it. I do not expect perfection, But I do demand respect, and that is Never devaluing me as a human, one with feelings and a memory, of well........... I can shock the hell out of most with my memory. If you choose to make me something of your convenience, be ready to be put in the same category, and Don't feel bad, I suggest if you have gone down a few Notches, Play the game fair and you will go back up, but \ don't expect it over night, Yes it may have taken you one strike to be down, But to regain that trust and respect, that takes work, and honestly, I am more than worth it, because I will give One Hundred Percent ALL the time, anyone who knows me, knows that.


Lesson for the day – Don't Play people, Because you may become one of the Pieces in their game of life to...




Peace.. Out!


June 28, 2011

Song For the Day

I have had No rants lately, I have been WAY to laid back, it is bound to hit again soon…  Yes,  I Do have small Peaks where I have NOTHING to bitch about… Well LOL Do you really care that I ate Cold Pizza for lunch and I am not, Didn’t think so.  So Til I get ticked off at the stupidity of the worlds lack of common sense and go off,  We shall chill together and I will share a song that is, Well, It is just Freakin Great Smile 

Enrique–Dirty Dance

I Love his Videos, they all tell a story and they are soo Provacative… Yea Ill leave it at that,

Happy Tuesday!

Stronger (Poem)

Basic smiles, Mundane and few, Searching Hoping, cannot be true,.

Looking for the rainbow in the sky, Watching time slowly Pass Us by,

Happiness not far but still not in my grasp, May be more than I can ask,

listening to my inner voice, graceful  dreams are my choice,

Holding up my hands in vain, after you, there is only rain,

But sun eventually will come to call, Drying up the tears that fall,

Rainbows distant but so very clear, I break away from Childish Fears,

Crawl away from the shelter I knew, Understanding, there is Life after You,

Making memories all my own, My new outlook and Smile Shown,

Growing stronger Every Day, Letting your negative Energy Wash away,

Opening eyes and reaching out, Life is wonderful without a Doubt

June 27, 2011

Mondays Quickie


I Have 10 Minutes before I have to leave for the day,  Thoughts for today? Not many really Had a fantastic weekend,  in the sun  Lopping Off tiger Lilies, Pulling out Hostas and Holy crap did I get alot of sun, Once My Tan  reaches a certain  degree, Ill have to take a New Profile Picture to share with everyone.   I will Probally Not Be Finishing Up my Nexdt Big blog till tuesday, as I will have company today and taking My Mom to the Doctor (Glances at clock) In one hour.  Went to the Howell Balloon Festival.  Thank you abercrombie Carvival Dude who still gave my son a prize even tho he did not win, He LOVES his Hidious Blow Up superman Doll... I am not hurting as much as I thought I would today, Luckily the burn was already subsided.... Being as white as me is Not a Bonus in the sun.  Oh BIG News, the Pool is Up and today I need to get a cover, Um Yea,  It is already in need of cleaning, Stupid grass.  But it was a great addition to the weekend for My son to be able to swim, Ok, I REALLY Have to go now, Hugs and have a wonderful Weekend!  Shout Out to @Jarvis for Keepin Me company On FB all weekend, and @ Tosha for always having My back, Love Ya girl!  You rock!  Seee Ya!

Marry You - Bruno Mars

I am not sure why I love this song so much, Makes me happy and want to lay in the sun and  Connect with Old friends and New, it is my New summer song,



June 24, 2011



The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying 

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost . . . I am hopeless.

It isn't my fault.It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

I walk down another street.

This Poem has gotten Me through so many rough times, When I, myself have doubted or been mislead by others, eventually I have to take change of my own decisions and be the difference myself.  I think the tenth or eleventh time reading it I finally really understood that no matter what happens to me, it all comes down to my choices and how I deal with them.

Overcoming (Poem)


In the darkest hour, When there can be no light

I let you take my hand, You will be alright

I  slide my fingers through you hair and kiss you on the cheek

I smile at you sweetly,  and see you oh so meek

You have so many talents you have yet to discover

From student,  Boyfriend,  Worker to Oh, yes even Lover

I pray you will see the  light at the end of day

For only you can cast that light and direct the ray

I wrap my arms around you, and hold you oh so tight

Hoping that my guidance  will help you fuel the fight

pulling away I drift  away back from  the world that I came

But knowing although apart Nether  of us will ever be the same

My Florida ……


Sunshine rising, over the water so bright,

The crash of the waves in the distance, gives you reason to fight,

The warmth of the sun, gently caressing your face,

The thought of the touch, that makes your heart race,

The breezes sifting thru the palms making a soft sound

The sight of the dolphins swimming and splashing around,

Eyes closed sweet smells of shrimp on a BBQ,

Sipping sweet frozen drinks, and little thoughts of you,

The warmth of the ocean, against your wet hot skin,

The sun beats down harder, luring you deeper in,

The sweet salty taste against your lips and face,

The waves slipping over the sand, leaving not a trace,

The smiles of strangers, and tasting a fresh Mojito,

The sound of distant music, in every direction You go,

The emptiness of holding, what you wanted and letting it go

The distance of the miles, shall now only grow

(I wrote this for a guy that Lives In Florida, He will always be an Inspiration for my poetry, For he at one time showed me love can be Unconditional…. Even If he is a Twit now, I still Love him to pieces)

Darkness (Poem)


Inviting in the darkness, holding it so close to my mind,
Digging my self into a hole, so deep no one can find,
Avoiding all contact, welcoming the coolness of the snow
Although it hurts my eyes, such an annoying glow
The silence of snow falling along with the darkness of the sky
Helps my mind wander, as time passes me by
It Makes for an array of contrast, my eyes can almost bare,
Flooding thoughts linger, a warm body being there,
Opening the door to my heart and soul, seeing nothing and nowhere to go,
Searching through my bloodshot eyes, I have nothing to show
Chills fill my body, with dreaded thoughts of abandon and grief,
My happiness stolen in the night by a unforgiving thief
dishonesty swirls in the wind, but never stays to explain,
Even the crows cry out a caw that sounds like their name
Finally the rains come pouring down, washing the dirt away
Leaving a clean scent in the air as the sun warms the day
Taking tiny steps as the gravel Grinds below my feet in the snow

I am stronger than I thought, It is myself I need to get to know.

New love (Poem)


Slowly memories fade like ghosts in the past,
Little things seem to fill in the blanks so very fast,
I look forward to the days that have yet to come,
Together as a couple, two turns into one,
Just chilling out and sharing thoughts and dreams,
I really don't think you know to me what it means,
Whenever you make me smile, I get butterflies deep inside,
Your like a definite mystery, a journey  I want to ride,
I thank you for being there when I needed a shoulder to cry
Thank you for being gentle with me and. Staying by my side
I don't know why you like me or see me the way you do,
but I know that we are good together, and still so very new,
Knowing there's a distance, your so far away
I wish I had the words, all the right things to say,
I know I can be silly but mostly I'm just true,
I look forward to seeing my future with you

(This Poem Is actually Old, I came across it this Morning along With a Few others I’ll Post)

Whatever May Come (Poem)


Watching your every move,

Listening to every word

Dicing it up to Nothing,

to Believe, It would be absurd

Catching a smile and laugh,

Taking each moment as it comes,

Making my wall a bit higher,

Just in case My heart turns and runs,

Listening to My heart,

and nestling the Good Deep Inside,

I cannot let my self fall,

Because in you, I can confide,

But really what is it worth,

Without a subtle Clue,

It is worth all and Nothing,

It is Old, Yet still New,

What was once so Purely raw,

Is now common and known by few,

But temptation will Overcome,

To myself, I will be true

Emotions so over rated,

Judgments made in total error

But still the common denominator,

You may one day be there,

Flashes of late nights

Talking till the sun shine again,

I am not in this for a race,

Nor am I in it to Win,

I am simply just existing,

I am living for each day,

Whatever comes shall be,

No words left to say

June 22, 2011

Friends With No Benefits

Everyone Knows what Friends With benefits is, But what about the Other Spectrum,  Oh They are Out there, They are On your friends list, they are hiding on facebook so no one can see their online,  they never like or comment on any thing and well they are pretty much just there for show. 

I cannot say I am the BEST Friend to have, But if you say put something out there on facebook I think is funny, cute or interesting, I will acknowledge your efforts.  OK, maybe I am not going to go out of my way to make you feel fuzzy and warm inside, but I purely believe that a friendship is a 2 way street, No Questions asked, just a mutual appreciation for the other. 

I have a friend who Is on 3 social networks, Never says “Hi” even though they are online, Nothing, I will inevitably delete them, I really could care less… I mean I have been blessed by so many good friends, Why clutter up my list with Useless names I have no need for.  If say I needed to talk, would I go to them, No, so what is the point of keeping this random name especially in Secondlife, where there is a new friend lurking around every corner…

I know why I have kept mine, in all honesty, they are females, and I don’t have a lot of friends that are girls,  Girls hate girls and guys hate guys, it is the nature of the beast.  I have a 80 to 20 ratio of Male to female friends, and really the few girls I am tight with, I appreciate More than anything.  I would say half the females added me Just to see when I was Online, and the other half were business contacts and a necessity, 

Most of my male friends, well Seriously we all know what they want, I can go back for years and tell them what they said when and  how I turned them down, Easy peasy, BUT I planned on keeping them, because Well, I like you, Females on the other hand, Holy hell, you would think every female is out to steal your man, Lie and deceive you, this is so not the case, Unless of course the female is not me, HA HA. No really I do believe that most people are not bad, and that there is a good part to all, I am far from trusting people with a lot of personal stuff, but I have my close friends for that, I just want to go out and have fun.

I purely believe a No benefit policy when if comes to friends that I plan to keep for a Long run when they are male, they of course love to test the waters and see if Perchance I have changed my mind at least once a week….. He he – Yes YOU.. No  I just don’t want to lose friends over drama related to stupid decisions and one night stands, not my style and I do have way to much class for that.  So if your reading this and want to make a new friend I am always on the market.

My Next blog will be on the top 10 things NOT to do if you’re a friend….. Now won’t that be interesting

June 21, 2011

The 10 Simple things I have learned


It is summer,  the weather is warm, I am taking daily walks behind an Escalade that goes a hell of a lot faster than me and My old puppy can walk, and God knows I am NOT ready to put on that Bikini, Let alone a tent Like Bathing suit.

We all go through this, It is Inevitable,  We look at our selves and think of our bad qualities,  we pick ourselves apart, It is Human nature to look at what others have and disregard our own goodness,  I mean Really do I look like a Small Mini Condo Complex in that suit?  Oh yes, I DO!  Life itself is not always bad, We all make bad decisions,  I have made a few bad decisions, But I believe my good ones Out weigh the bad. But in my vast knowledge of life, which is not  by far any more than yours, these are the Lessons I have learned and Ones that I try to Uphold.

  1. Whenever you have a gut feeling, go with it.  I say this because I believe we are all “Special” in our gut feelingown way, Not in the way our mom said… Yea that was quit a pile of Bullshit, But honestly I am doing the same thing with my son, But he is special *Laughs*.  I am talking special in a Psychic manner, Our inner psyche knows things that are not apparent to our visual mind, as humans we can Misconstrue just about anything and also, alter our thoughts to match or mimic what we WANT to believe, Stop it, Go with the gut,  chance of it being right are pretty damn good.
  2. Never leave things unsaid, Ever.  Even if you just jot them down and shoot them in an email, I say this for 1 reason, It is easier to be let down than to just not know and always wonder,  there is so many people that have missed opportunities because they did not speak up, and this goes from job opportunities to Love.  I would rather have a broken heart on the mend than live my life wondering what if…. it is the what ifs we get stuck on, we end up what Iffing everything, We end up not looking forward because we are to damn busy living in the past, Because I mean really, What If???
  3. When Possible, always eat dessert – Ok your thinking this is dessertsprobably the lamest one on the list, NO this is actually pretty damn Important, besides the  Sweet Crustiness of a fresh baked pie and the creamy smooth taste of cheese cake, this goes for Life's choices, all the sweet ones,  always try to enjoy the moment – that is what dessert is about, enjoying.  Dessert represents the good things in life, and we should always choose to eat dessert, a couple times a day if possible, Then if there is still room for some Jello and whipped cream, Have at it.
  4. Apologize, apologize, apologize…… I need to work on this sorryone, Because I am hard headed, But it takes a lot before I get to the point before I wont back down, so of course it is completely their fault in the end, because I have a 9 to 1 ratio, Me on the high end for apologies.  I don’t mind being the one to say “I am sorry”  but everyone else has to buck up and do their part to.  sometimes it may take me a while, But I do eventually do it and only when I mean it. I don’t toss it out there Like a dog biscuit and see if it is taken, No, I say it, I move on.  I Know I sound a bit cold on this subject But really since I am always the one apologizing because I HATE to hurt people, well, one day ill find someone who will be 50/50 with me on this and realize they are not always right, Which leads me to the Next one.
  5. Realize your NOT always right – I have learned a lot about personalities over the last year, the types and the traits, I am an Introverted feeler, I am the INF (I am 50/50 on the P and J I’ll take the test again *Sighs*) so I am not particularly in love with arguing, so I am easy to back down and take the fall, but there is also a internal guard I have which consists of this thing called self respect, this in itself allows me to say, “Um Fuck You” and walk away.  If I have to back down ALL the time and there is no bending on the other side what so ever, well I am the one who has already done my part so it comes down to You who needs to look in the Mirror.  I will eventually go to #4 and apologize if I need to for maybe My actions, But I will Not apologize for not accepting your derelict ways of Looking at things,  I have my own twisted ass way of life, I am not going to circumvent your Bull shit into it and mess it all up. 
  6. Dance and sing like no one is watching – Really, this is another dessert one, It is a reference to something we typically don’t do, I dance_like_no_one__s_watching_2_by_jklreece-d30tz7dhonestly have a horrid voice, and you would pay me to shut up, and I am completely fine with that, BUT when it comes to life Be yourself, don’t pay attention to what every one else is doing, and don't try to act differently because it may not be accepted, the only way to be you, is well, to dig deep, and do all the stupid shit, which comes down to dance and sing like no one is watching,  Someone is going to appreciate that and maybe they will catch on, Now wouldn’t it be nice if every one took off their fake ass masks and was who they really were , It would save a lot of time and heart break in the end, Now wouldn’t it.
  7. Appreciate your Differences – This one is attached to #6, only because it allows others to be different, We are all so busy trying to conform to whatever is acceptable and what is the popular choice we forget that we are all Individuals, the term Individual is this 

    Adjective: Single; separate: "individual tiny flowers".

    Noun: A single human being as distinct from a group, class, or family

    I am Not saying you cannot like what is Popular, I am saying Don’t like it because it is popular, Like it because it is who you are, So many people are out there carrying dogs In purses, wearing Big sunglasses and floppy ass hats, getting their nails done, that they get caught up in what is popular, and then there is Lady Ga Ga, Now she understand what being an Individual means, Screw the press, screw the Paparazzi, This is it,  Yes she Looks Odd, Maybe even Off her rocker, But you know what, She is singing and dancing Like No one is watching AND she is an Individual… Um You Fuckin Rock Lady Ga Ga


  8. Dreams are for the sleeping – I am the Utmost Guilty one Dreams and goalsfor this, Seriously, I am pathetic, My Email, My Virtual Property My Life structure is built around dreams, But what they REALLY are is goals, That is such a harsh term I think that is why people dream, because dreams are a bit far Fetched so If you don’t reach them, Well It WAS just a dream.  A Goal on the other hand is  something you CAN Obtain, something within reach BUT with hard work, which most are not willing to put enough work into it to reach.n So stop with the Dreaming shit, Really,m have goals, that is the grown up term, and really we all need to grow up at some point, Which Brings me to #9.
  9. NEVER GROW OLD – Huge difference in Up and Old, and I think people forget how much fun it is to be a kid, the imagination, the laughter at silly stuff the  perfect way of doing nothing andGrowing_old_inevitable everything all at once.  The happiness with just the Hose on a hot day, the simplicity of not being something we were not.  If children are good at one thing, it is being their self and trying to squeeze every minute and every smile out of every corner out of every day.  We all have responsibilities, We cant say screw it, I’m not paying the Mortgage, But take note from children and remember, there is always time to smile and have fun, and sometimes you may have to look silly doing it, but the chances of that smile being contagious, Is worth its weight in gold. 
  10. Learn From Your Mistakes – Don’t lose the lesson, In what you do, EVER,  If something does not work out, there is a reason, and the reason is your lesson, Most people walk away from relationships and see its over, But Why… there is a reason it did not just happen, there was a process that took place, and somewhere in there is a lesson that one day IF you Heed the warning, You can stop from happening again,  It is so simple to walk away and just cut your Losses, But really it is so much smarter to get something out of a failure, It makes you a better stronger person in the Long run


June 20, 2011

Old–But Never forgotten Song


This Song Signifies So Much

Hush now don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over or has it just begun
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension
I-will be watching over you
I-I'm gonna help you see it though
I-will protect you in the night
I-I'm smiling next to you in silent lucidity
If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you build within come tumbling down
And a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of Illusion can you realize
Your dream's alive you can be the guide but
(I) will be watching over you
(I) I'm gonna help you see it though
(I) will protect you in the night
(I) I'm smiling next to you

Going Back to Then…

I cannot beat the same horse over and over again, so I am off on a different topic.

Missed Opportunities, Lost time and Memories that may stay with you. 

8 Years ago I had started a new Position,  I was Not new there, but still needed my Email set up, and at best I acted Like a bitch, It took 2 weeks… I mean come on, really 2 freakin weeks, Unacceptable.  The IT guy finally showed Up, He was not your normal  geek of a IT guy, he was, Long haired, laid back, Brown eyes that looked through you, and a smile that, Well, It worked well for him, He hated me. *Giggles*

I did feel very bad for being a Bitch, I  was not one but really needed to work, and email was the only way to get and send things, so I promised him a long island in return for harassing him so much.  From then on we were at the mercy of life,  I say that because Life happened, and Ultimately, We were separated by choices made, Truths Never shared, and bottled Up emotions that never seemed to make their way to the surface.

We were the couple that held hands, Drank and  chatted for hours at restaurants and Walked through the late Night K Mart in the Middle of the night.  Laughter and contentment were always on hand, We kept each moment we got good because somehow we knew, it was not going to be forever. It wasn’t, It was about a year, a bit less.

Twisted is life, when you by chance meet someone, who holds your interest, One that makes you want to Learn new things (For me it was NASCAR) Not so sure what it was for him, But what I do know is laying on the couch watching a movie, Never felt better, than with him.

Time goes by, Life happens and we all move on, Or do we?

Sometimes things happen, and make us look back on those things that maybe we never finished, that one diamond in a rough that you always knew was more shiny than any you had ever seen. 

I am not the emotional type, as you can probably tell By my Blogs, But my Poetry says it all, I am a wimp inside, I hold things in, till they hurt enough to become words on paper, and for a year, I was sad we had to say good bye, it was sudden, and not something ether of us wanted, but we both accepted.

Time marches  on and so does life and even though it is happening, I would hear “Silent Lucidity” or see the race on and get that twinge in my stomach, it always made me smile, No hard feelings, Only regret, It was at best, wonderful, and at worst, still memories to  make me smile.

Let me say the phone is the best Invention ever, It keeps people in contact, or puts them back into contact when  the time is needed, and when My phone rang 3 years later, I was stunned to hear his voice, it was calming, sweet and it was my Charmer,  that IT guy who hated me, the one who thought I was a pain in the ass, the one who stole my heart and moved away, the one who laughed at my jokes, Played Guitar naked, and made me feel like I was complete in the morning before work. (He Knows I am writing this BTW)

2 years ago I went to Cleveland, it was for a concert at the Q with a fiend, He showed Up at the hotel at 7 am, Umm yea, we were hung over and not inviting anyone up to the room *Laughs*. When I went downstairs, He stood there with his Dale Earnhart Jacket and put it on me, gave me a hug and said “It always Looked Better On you”, I Loved Him in that jacket, I am not sure why, but it was Him. but I was not above accepting gifts ether since I wanted it so bad, It brought back so many memories.

Today I spent Lunch chatting to him, For 3 Hours…  It was a Long Lunch.  For the first time we were completely honest, I guess after all this time has past, It is easier to say the things you wanted to back then. We both were trying to protect ourselves from Hurt, and we both felt the same about each other, He said after all tis time, he has met people with Pieces of what he is looking for, but that it was pointless, since I was the whole package.  I told him, I thought He just Liked me, and not that Other L word.

Although We may not be Close since he is 3 hours away, I feel Closer to him that I ever have, and I know he to me. We will deal with the other stuff as it comes, and when He can, He will jump Into my Virtual World of Secondlife, Which he seemed to enjoy a lot.  I guess what I am trying to say is, Sometimes you have to deal with the crap of life before the good things come, and sometimes it goes in a way that you don’t even see coming.  He said to me if he knew how I had felt, that we would have been married and had a few kids by now…… How was I to know.   One day at a time is best, and a slow progression.  But for right now, I am Complete knowing that the IT guy who would Never dance with anyone, at any time, Will always slow dance with me.


Chaser Heslop – SecondLife

June 18, 2011

The Drama–The D-R-A-M-A`

So today I was out with My sister N brother to dinner and Get an IM, Can U DJ my Birthday party and Defriendcome dance with me, Umm Of course,   I say  If I can bring a date- I can bring one but I have to dance with him– I mean Really  I am Ok with that…..I had a party planned for Mr late On his drunken asses Birthday but He was having fun IRL – Sooo I log in and find I have a Limo waiting tonight.. funny thing It is to Thane – I know this sim, It is where a friend Lost his man parts and got an IM saying come get me – Smirks – Umm sorry had to share – Soo the party starts and 3 hours later – I get an IM


Umm I called BS

No it was true a few minutes later I was defriended and banned from the sim, ejected from the group and Fired from my job..

Really Your going to fire me because I am DJing a party at a Mutual friends Birthday Because you don’t like the People there – Umm OK… I was offered a lot of Money to do it, I did not take it – This was a gratis thing, I did not want Money Just wanted to be there period and help out.... I know wtf is going on, I am not diving into the drama, when I got the IM From the Gen Manager  saying I just basically  was tossed Out, I said Umm Ok, for being at a Mutual Friends party, That’s cool, Ok, have a good Night, then the GM defriended me.

Bottom, line here is, last week I was told  as her BFF and  part of her family n she loved me how wonderful I was, Me being there does not affect me and her friendship – Or did it… No there is no Logic there, Just her pissed off emotions.

But She defriended all of us, anyone that was there was banned and muted, I am not going to say what club it was if you want to know IM me Inworld. I am not gonna be a Bitch about it, No need to,  It is Not my first banning from her – Usually over guilt by association, This will never stop – when girls are mad – they fix it by banning people, anyone that is betraying them at least in their eyes.


tonight I am on a lot of alcohol and ummmm I am not in a fighting mood just wanna chill n have fun,  Why she defriended all of us only for the reason, that she did not like 2 people, that is beyond me, Well It is 3 AM and I should get it bed soooo Nigh Night – Night B day boy – Hugs n kisses,  Me being there for u tonight was well worth it – I wanted to be there for U n e way….

ADD On - Amazing how after all that she can IM the guy whos Birthday party I was at and never even bother with me, Well he has man parts and I don't is what I am summing it out to, To bad she will be the one missing out on both of our friendships since we are in Pure bliss without the drama she creates. Now Excuse me, I have another Drama Free evening coming up and I plan to spend it with the Birthday boy again... :)

June 17, 2011

The Redundancy of Relationships



Here I go again,  back on the relationship  Shout out… I get pulled Into this shit I swear.    I am not sure why I am writing this, If it is for myself or for someone else, But its my blog so If you don’t like it, Press the pretty Red X at the top right and call it a day.

I Wrote one a while ago called “What a girl wants” which entailed expectations of myself, and probably most people of any sex, the basis of it was respect with the bullets of the normal things our Significant others trend to screw up on. Seriously, My last boyfriend was a culprit of all but 1 or 2, He was my inspiration, But it all fairness, He is not a bad guy, just a bad boyfriend. 

Here is where I did not clarify the steps – Where does it begin, I mean this is not something You slip Into and wake up and say Oh Shit I have a boyfriend, but then for some, a few to many and yea, it happens in the moment of stupidity when our beer/whiskey/margarita glasses are on. 

The Beginning

Really it all starts with communication, something that usually loses it luster in time, But communication and  attraction,. if one is lacking then a friendship entails.  Sometimes you are friends and something happens, maybe  one starts to like the other and then more time is spent together and a bond grows,  but Undoubtedly attraction and communication have to take place and this is where honesty is key, If you pretend to be someone your not, there is going to be hell to pay down the road.

Jane meets Jim, Jim is wearing a NY Yankees Jersey, they strike up a conversation, Jane tells Jim how much she LOVES baseball, their first date is a game, their 3rd date is a game, 2 years later Jane wants to cry because she is now engaged and her wedding gift from her husband is season tickets to every game, Jane despises every sport out there Including arguing, So Jane is stuck in baseball hell or she has to tell Jim she has been lying for the last 2 years about loving the sport

Be Honest People, If Jane would have thought this out, maybe she could have said, I have never been to a game, but maybe you could teach me about it, and go from there, Now if he can fall for her during this process and she still hates it, she is better off, maybe she can buy him the tickets for a wedding gift for him and HIS friends to go…. Huge Difference!

So lying is bad, we all learned this In elementary school and at home, it is not something that should be part of the relationship cycle although More Common that not.

Senrario 2 – This is a personal one for me, I am to honest for my own good. Chatting about  the state fair, I said me and my best friend go every year.. He said he was going on Saturday to, so as the day drew nearer, I had to fess Up I had no clue what was there,  let alone where it was.  I finally said she had to back out, and that I was not able to go, he then said his friend was not ether, and why don’t we go together.  It ended up being the best date ever, I got the Biggest Bear at the game booths we hit the bar after and I would say 4 months into the relationship it was common knowledge we got together on both of us telling a white Lie, BUT we were both smart enough to not keep up the lie, that is small, Not life changing, it was the state fair, I mean really, how many games are in a season of baseball….. Umm, I don’t mind an occasional game, but I am not painting my face and going ape shit over a white ball going 60 MPH toward a dude In a Leather glove.  Now if you like Hockey, That is a sport with balls… Ha Ha.

Bottom Line don’t sugar coat yourself – no one is perfect, and really if they cannot like you for who you are, the curb is an appropriate place to leave them, If your generous, give them fare for a cab on their way out.

The stupid stage

All people that are at the beginning have this stage – it is the Lovey dovey sick stage where your friends want you to just get a room or talk in sign language so they don’t have to hear ll the Mushy crap, we all like being loved, and we all think its going to last forever, Right?  Did you ever fall for someone thinking, Ok he will be an asshole in 3 months, so I should start looking for someone else now?  No that is not our thinking, But what we do like is the assumption that they are there for just us, and that we are their world, I say assumption because unless this has been stated we are taking it on ourselves to fill in the blanks.  it is after the stupid stage that you find out what really makes them tick.

The Beginning Of the end of the rest of your life

After the Pretty wears Off, all that is left is you, and them,  if the bull shit out weighs the real you, you might as well of not hit the stupid stage, it was time wasted, it was pretty much all for show and the only things that get Prizes for show are Dogs and Horses… Last I looked I was not one of them.

The key to figuring out if your compatible is Logic, well If Logic agrees with your emotions,  Logically do you fit? this is not a Disney movie, he is not going to whisk you away on a horse,  there is going to be No horse drawn carriage, just him, sitting around in his sweats, On the couch asking you what's for lunch… Is this logical for you?  Did You want to spend every minute with him, and he you? Is there an emotional bond besides the one you two found at that hotel last spring and try to reinvent every other day?

The trouble with Men

They have no clue WHAT they want, No that is not true, they want the bakery most of the time, Why get a Cream Puff every day when there is so many Yummy things to try, even if the cream puff is their favorite  and they always go back to it eventually, they want to try them all out before making that call.

For gods sake Let them, and if they lose you to their own sweet tooth, their lose, I mean really are you that small, worth that little that you are going to pine over some guy walking around with a donut one day and a Muffin (top) the next.  If you were to push him at this point he is ether A going to run, or B going to cheat and not feel guilty because , well he was pushed into the relationship so, it is not his fault he wants to try that New flavor in the window….. Let him have his fun and when the one good thing he had is happy with someone else, Well goes down to his lose and maybe he will learn next time.

Don’t think this only goes for guys, this is for the girls to, But we use our emotions to rule or destiny, allowing for an extreme judgmental error which will occur numerous times in our lifetime.  If we Love him, that is the end all Be all of it, no one else is good enough,  Take a step back, see other people, have fun, learn about them give them a chance to get to know you.  He may be your happiness when Mr. Perfect has not made up their mind.

The Bitter Truth with a Cherry On top


Jim and Jane again –Eh easy names to use -  Jim likes Jane a lot, but is not Sure, Jane likes Jim, and wants to be with him but did not push because well, She thought it out, and knew better than to lead that horse to water……smart girl.

Now the ball is in Jims park, he will be making the calls on this game, But that does not stop Jane from still wanting him, It just gives her extra time to find someone else she likes better, Yes, Guys do not think about that, Ha ha, But it is true, Jane can go out, have fun, Meet people, hang with the girls and screw around all she wants, Even do things Jim would be shocked at, BUT she is using Logic, If he cannot commit, You must acquit.  Jim if he is the right guy for her will hopefully figure out his needs before she figures out there is better, It is a balancing act really.  In the perfect scenario, Jim figures out the others are just a Filler and she is the one, the bottom Line the end all be all of his Ying and yang, they live happily ever after

If not, Jane has met new people, made new contacts, and hopefully after a night or 2 of eating ice cream and watching cheesy 80s movies is back out there and once again having fun,

Love sucks since there is not rules, and when there is rules applied to love it must be equal – what's that saying, what's good for the goose is good for the gander? still holds true today.


Peace Out – For now …………….

June 16, 2011

Music and Me


I Love Meeting new People, getting to know them and the best way to do that is to hear their Music – Music says what the soul and heart are thinking.

Music can break Barriers, Get across  thoughts feeling and gestures that we as humans are not able to comprehend.  I Liston to Music all day, We all have out favorite songs, Ones that make us cry, Ones that take us back to that day, Ones that remind us of that loved one, and ones that can turn a black cloud into a sunny day.

No Matter what we are, Feel, See, Hear, Music  can help us understand, Relate and share what we are feeling to those we are close to, Not close to, Or want to e close to.  I have Been Introduced to so many songs from people, all Different types, All ones that I love now and would have Missed out if I would not have taken the time to ask that one question “What are your Favorite songs”.  It is those and the ones sent to me randomly that mean the most, the random ones are special because I know that at the time they are sending me that Link, when they heard that song, I popped Into their Mind, I am honored to have such good friends who do appreciate me, as I do them.

I just wanted to share a few Of my Favorite songs – One that have been sent to me over the last year. One that maybe you have not heard, and will to add to your collection of, Songs that tall my story.

This song Is so Special to me, Sent to me from a friend,  They said when they sent it to me, That it was how they felt, No matter what, We will always have each other, and I know that I feel the same,  through the good the bad and the ugly, Our friendship will overcome all.

This song  sent from another friend, Is so Mellow and flowing, about how people see you, and accept you for who you are, they only see the beauty and the goodness. (No one is a complete angel Er.. Right) But fall In love with who you are and the energy they feel around you…. I Like it a lot

This One is so Catchy, Whenever I listen to it, My head bobs up and down, I have never heard it till a few days ago along with the Amber song, and they are now 2 of my favorites in my playlist, they differ in beat, but the message is still the same, acceptance. 

Have you ever heard a song that was so Not something you would listen to but fall into it so easily, this was it for me, this song speaks volumes and her voice chills me. I came across it one day and decided I needed to listen to all of their stuff… I was not disappointed.

This one is More Personal for me, It is that song when after you would have given someone the world and they Screw it up, Big time… It tells the story of a relationship where she finally grows up and out of that relationship, and how It is not her that loses out, She gains her freedom and happiness.  Not everyone is a country music fan, But if you have ever had a Broken Heart, this song is for you.

Maybe I’m Amazed–Paul McCartney

This one was sent to me by yet another person, Who at the time Meant this to be for me, I am not very versed in older tunes, but they were a Plethora of music knowledge, and what they lacked in newer stuff I gave them.  The words so True, It is scary to fall, completely and give yourself away, But Maybe this is it.  I love this song now, and many of the others by the Beetles.

This song alone speaks Volumes to me, It was My song Mutually with a friend of Mine, We shared so Much together, Love, laughter, and heart break… I am not sure what would do without this song, Let alone this friend.  XoXo

What are you songs? What tells Your story? Please share with me,  Leave a Link Below, and Let me get to Know you.

My Meeroos and Me

(Pictures to be added this Evening)


Ok, I was DJing one night and I receive a Gifty of sorts with some type of Numbers, I have No Flipping clue what it is, Nor what to do with it, Then I receive a IM from C who who Sent it to Me, It is a Meeroo and he is Of course breeding them.  Any animal that comes Out, C is going to have a small stockpile somewhere and he is going to Be Shipping me one or 3.

So I rez this thing, Looks Like a Lil Hole covered In grass and its name is “Prince Charming” Personality is Lazy and It is from the United states.  Now I feel Like I have already bonded with this Lil guy, Having dated Most of the Lazy prince charming's.  Ok, Enough of the Jokes, But seriously, He could not have picked a Better name or Temperament for me.

After watching a Video with a Nice treasure chest and instructions, I have figured out, well, I don’t have a chest, I have a Mound of grass… Now I am confused, Which is not hard to do since the blonde hair can sometimes take over the more intellectual portion of my brain.  I don’t Call it a Blonde Moment, I call It a daily Process.  I jump Into search on the V2 Viewer, only because I am then on my laptop and of course come across everything Meeroo except for the main HQ. *Shakes Head* Ok Linden Lab you really need to work on the search, bouncy Boobs is great but a broken search for how long now….. apparently this was given to a Linden who does not do coding, only Hits meetings and eats donuts. 

Random IM: Come See My new dreamscape

So I do, I have given Up on trying to coax out a meeroo without a home.…..

Smart Decision, Their friend had Meeroos and gave me all the Information I needed,

Back On the Big girl PC, I rez My nest again and then head off to the store, I bought the Stone House and a few things Of berries, After rezzing those I click Coax again, I see the Eyes blink a few times and wait the 120 Seconds,

I wait…

and I Wait….

OMG I am Still Waiting…………….

Bam!  Out comes My New Little Friend, My Lazy ass Prince charming, the Cutest Lil 3D Virtual Guy I have ever seen (all Xs Excluded, Some of you were cuter and had charm)

I Play with my hud and decided Prince Needs his friend (I was also Gifted a Lil Girl to mate with him) I named her Cinderella, Poor girl is going to have the same dating luck as Me,

*Laughs -  I don’t think I have it to bad…..

Cinderella and Prince charming run around the steps of my home, Chirping and digging up random Items, Asking for snuggles which melts My  real heart every time.  I DID NOT want a Meeroo, I had no plans on getting close to one, But as fate would have it, I was given 2 very sweet ones who I plan on mating so I can give some smiles back to my friends for free, I believe In paying it forward…..

If you want, Hit me up Inworld or stop by Mondani Tesori Sim to see my 2 new Lil 2 day old meeroos, They Love to be Hugged.

June 14, 2011

Forsaken City



In a world full of angels and demons, Sometimes there is a shift in goodness, and the Demons  make their way, one by one, creeping into every corner of your soul, they inhabit your thoughts your dreams and your desires, It is then, you will appreciate “Forsaken City”.  It is a Role Play Sim for the Urban Neko, Vampire, Grunge patrons of Secondlife. Nice thing, You do not have to be all or any of those things to RP there, I was, Well a Neko that particular day,and was hunting for a place to do some Grunge/Neko Pictures. 


When I landed there, I was given some Information as to where I was and where the RP areas were.  I know some RP Sims and harsh, if I was to just so much as  land there I would be bombarded with IMs, taunting, teasing and pulling me into their storyline. I decided to check out the OOC area (out of character) and found a small city block, with a bus stop, dilapidated car, Bag lady giving away free Kitties (BONUS)  and, well it was definitely fitting for the RP.  

I was Impressed with what I had seen and tipped the trash can and then received an IM, "Hey thanks for the Tip”. I tip places ALL the time, Seldom do I get a thank you, Unless it is automated from the tip jar, even if they are standing next to me.  The IM was from Raine  (KenDevil Raine) one of the Owners along with  Dolly Devill and Riley Dark matter.

Raine and Me at one of the Local Hangouts


This sim has so many Hidden places, I doubt you would be able to find them all,  I was taking picture after picture, and I could have taken 100 more,  it is so true to life, from the street sighs, to the textures at the sim edges that I admit I walked Into a few times thinking I could. This city has every thing Packed into one sim, so you don’t have to look hard to find another player to RP with, and I found everything from apartments, Gas station, Police station, insane asylum (I felt at home there ha ha ) Highway, Hospital, Huge Skateboard area, Pawn shop, Diner I cannot even remember all the places there, and all were equally as detailed and lots of room for 2 or 20 people to RP in an area.


I spoke to Raine and I got some information from him for those who want to RP there.

  1. This is a “Old Fashioned” Role Play sim, No Combat Huds (Weapons Permitted for show)  no Bloodlines Bite Requests, all typing, Let your fingers make your storyline and let it flow.  It is an Adult rated sim so there are no limitations, as long as all parties involved are comfortable. 
  2. The Club Is OOC when Events are going on, Usually once a week a Huge party is thrown and from the sounds of it, A LOT is given away.
  3. The shops are also OOC, but a lot have the gear if you want to grab a quick outfit change, You will find it there.
  4. It is a family run sim, It is there for all to chill, hang out and have fun.

Here is the NC Information that you get there as a background to the sim.

a bustling place, full of hard working, honest people. The city was alive, prosperous, and full of energy. Sadly, that was before they came......"they" being the creatures of the night. Some say the whole thing started years ago when the first of the night  walkers made their way to Forsaken City. This night walker fell in love with a mortal and god himself damned the city, allowing a sort of "open door" for the rest of em to come along. What I know for certain is that eventually the Government gave up trying to control the situation and wanting to keep the rest of the human race safe, they cut off all ties with the city. Years later, Forsaken City is still a bustling city (though not so alive and prosperous), with something always going on. The few humans that still walk the city streets have learned to coincide with these beasts, making themselves useful to them (in turn allowing themselves to live long, and sometimes not so healthy lives).

Below is a List of the contacts you can chat to Inworld, I have been Popping by on occasion now that I have made a few great friends there, So if you decide to stop in, Check your Radar, I may be drinking at the club, Or hanging out in one of the Secret areas I was Lucky enough to be shown. I want to say thanks to Raine and Payne for making me feel so welcome, I look forward to seeing you Inworld.

Payne and Riley Hanging out at Club Forsaken

KenDevil Raine (Raine) - Owner Riley Darkmatter - Owner DollyDeVil - (Payne) Owner Jessa Alba - RP Admin



June 11, 2011

Saturday Stuff and Little Things

I Went to bed at 3 AM this morning, Not the smartest of choices I have made, But all in all a good time, needless to say 7AM came quickly and I felt like I had been whacked by a mail truck, driven by a disgruntled employee.  I could have been worse though, I could have been drinking. 

I spent 2 days this last week (well Okay, Not 2 FULL days but a good portion of them)  taking pictures of that SIM, I have over 100, and I know damn well you don’t want to see all 100 of them, If you do Perchance they are uploaded to my flicker. So , as I thought I would have started writing the Blog by now, It is just to damn nice to be inside, I cannot do it. and I doubt tonight will be an option ether,  I do believe I have plans already. Another story all together. I will get to it soon though, It is on my list of things to do, along with coaxing My Meeroo out of its nest and figure that out.

Sneak Peak @ the SIM

Forsaken City1_022

My Meeroo, I tried to coax, But it did not seem to want to come out yet, I looked Online and saw there is a treasure chest, I don’t have a chest, IDK where to get a chest, Ill get with My buddy, He said he would help  me.

Saturday Night plans, Well, I am thinking about DJing again On Saturdays, Not sure though if I will, I stepped back for a while, the place I was at, just reminded me of old stuff to much. I may be able to let stuff go easily, But my memory is a curse.  But I am guessing Ill be with T again, he has really tried hard to crack me, I give him Kudos for  sticking it out.   We Hung with his friends last night, Well One person ended up being a Mutual friend but had fun none the less, I told them I had gotten a Meeroo, and none of them even knew what one was, I explained it was a Virtual animal that kinda  looked like a cross between a donkey and kangaroo (Not don’t quote me, I have never actually seen One up close)

D: I have a Meeroo, In My pants

T I have a Meeroo for you Linds



Yes, They all had fun with the Meeroo term, It stuck till the end of the evening (Or Morning so to speak), That and D new shoes… No wonder they were discounted.. Umm Hello…..

After dancing for 3 hours and then hanging with Ts friends for 2 more hours, I was hit, we both logged and called it a day/Morning/Evening. 

As you can tell I am not adding names to my Posts, I doubt people want to be named, and if they do, they will tell me.  T I am sure would not care, But I still don’t add him. It is My Blog, and well, I like to keep the specifics out, It is My Opinion here and really, My perception is just that, mine only.

Random IM:

Looked at your Flickr, Nice Pics

Me: Thx

You two make a cute couple

Ok, Now this was just a sim owner guy, I was getting the tour of the sim, Even though this was just random IM, I still felt the need to explain and No, We are not a couple, amazing how pictures can be misconstrued and taken out of context.

Ok, It is so nice Out, I Must go, I have no Complaints ATM, Once I do my Smart ass side will be out, Give it an hour, My sons dad will be by, I will undoubtedly have a streak after that.  .

June 9, 2011

Updates and Other Crap I need to say

I am working On 2 Blogs Right Now, One will hopefully Be done Tomorrow.

1. I am the Owner of a ... Can not Believe I am saying this *takes a Deep Breath*
MEEEROO! Yes... I am going through the Process Of Ownership Etc. I will be happy to share My opinions after I Figure this Umm Blog-O-Mentary on the ownership, and what I am sposed to do with this random item in my Inventory LOL..... Even worse, I did Not ask for this Responsibility, It was Just a Thoughtful gift...*Scribbles note to say thank you again*

2 I found a Cool Sim, It is a RP sim, Free to join and visit, although I am Not a RPG girl, The place looks great for Pictures, I have met the sim owner who more than generously offered to give me the deluxe tour and so I am going to check it out and Give you some Pieces of Interest as to what to Expect if you go there. So far I see very friendly people and a Family like atmosphere.

Ok, I am done for now, I think I am going to take a few On the couch, I have worked already for the day so I am Beat, 5 AM comes so early,.... *Growls*

Hugs to all, and NO I am not a member of the Meeroo Loving team yet, I am happy with my 2 Prim dogs and cat at the house.

June 7, 2011

What a girl wants… At least this One


                   Snapshot_002 (2)

After soul searching for the last month after a hard break up, that may have ended suddenly, but emotionally lasted the equivalent of a calendar month or the amount of time it would take me to make decent Rice Pudding (No, Not this long, I have given up on that one), I have come to realize, what I will and will not allow in my life.  I am by nature a nurturer, I want to make people happy, I love to hear and feel and see that people understand me, and I am damned if they try to make me feel like shit for doing so. 

  1. If you are talking to me, Seeing me, and  spending time with me on a daily basis,  and then for a week Just Crawl into a Virtual hole and pull away from me, Let me Reintroduce you to the single life because apparently I am  capable of doing it on my own, because you may as well not even be there.  I do make leeway for planned absences or even ones I have knowledge about at the last Minute, But last I looked I am not a Psychic nor will I pay one to try to figure your ass Out.
  2. If you have said that you Love me for who I am, accept who I am, Not just the Pretty Pieces, I don’t have time to be your trophy girlfriend, Nor am I willing to be put on a shelf till it is convenient for you to “Deal” with. If I get emotional regardless of the reason, Don’t become a total dick, I do have feelings and I Plan in sharing IF I am with you. If you don’t want to hear them, I Am not your girl, Try or just stay alone, I am completely fine with ether of those options.
  3. If you are capable of getting upset with me for not Communicating, I have every right to be upset after you are Unable to even come see me, call me, Write me, Skype me, Send a carrier Pigeon to communicate with me. Double standards do not work for me, Unless of course there is cheese cake on both tables, then ether choice I am good with, Otherwise, you can take your Un communicative ass to someone who is just as distant and difficult.
  4. If you respect me, then do so, Don’t say you do, then Dis-respect me by calling me uncalled  names, Last I looked I was out of high school, and I try to date only people with a brain, and I am sure there is a Multitude of other ways you can express what your saying.  Given benefit of the situation, an apology will be taken on an as needed basis, But  in order for that to take effect, you have to apologize, NOT Post essays on a Facebook  page as to why I am the names for all to see….. That is what I call an #EpicFail at being Human, Respectful, Decent, Oh I could go on but you get the drift, and Once again, My delete Button on Facebook is not that hard to press, Nor is the relationship status bar.  Welcome to Singledom
  5. If you are Incapable of showing me affection, due to your incessant need to be needed by many, If I cannot make you want to show me attention, there is no need here to try,  I am not into the So-Do-Ku of relationships, I don’t have time to figure out what goes where, If it is not plainly apparent, Cut our loses and move on.
  6. If you are to egotistical to realize that you are losing me, so be it, I don’t do call backs, I don’t want drama, I just want Peace, and that includes peace of mind that I have done the right thing, I regret only Few things, But to this date, a Break up is Not on the list so don’t think I secretly am hiding out waiting for you to come back so I can apologize.
  7. If you consider me just a (For lack of better words) Bootie call, Please let me help you out with a 800 number, I am sure they would be happy to help you get your rocks off, I am not here for your pleasure, nor will I ever be, at this point you have been selected to go out with the rest of the trash I have accumulated today, Thank you for shopping.
  8. If you cannot accept that I do think about sex on a daily basis, I may even want to talk, text or write about it, then please go lock your cold ass back up in the incubation chamber you came from,  maybe in 100 years Sex will not be an issue, Better yet, go watch funny youtube videos for the next 40 Years, We will see who is happier after that.
  9. If you cannot stay faithful, Meaning Exclusive, Partnered, Honest please get the hell off my property, I have frequent people professing their appreciation for my landscaping and Ornaments, I don’t need any pieces of shit cluttering up my lawn, If I want that, I’ll get a dog.
  10. Last but not least, I am a Princess, In my own right, I deserve to be treated as such just as much as you deserve to be treated like a prince, if you cannot at least meet or exceed these expectations, I ask that you leave my kingdom of Fresh made S’Mores, Cherry Cheesecake and Whipped cream streams. Yes you may miss it, But don’t worry, I am sure you will find another sucker to take your ass in.

These are what I came up with, I am sure there is more, but I have a very important date with my 6 year old who would like to ride his bike,escalade or Razor around the block, for mothers day this year he got me a Tiara,  matching necklace, earrings and a Ring, NOW he Knows how to treat a girl….

Peace…… I'm out

The Blessed, The Borrowed and the Bulge


I sit here eating My Tuna Fish sandwich for lunch, No dressing, Just Lemon Juice and a Diet Dew. and I want to Know Why I am Not the Blessed, I mean Come on, I remember Jen, My BBF In Elementary school, She had the Body of a stick and Sucked down marshmallows Like there was a shortage.  I would sit across from her at lunch with carrot sticks, a PB and Jelly Sandwich and a white milk. 

As long as I can remember I was Never the Lucky one, I would walk by and glance at a bakery and collect all the calories available in the window, so Others that bought them did not pay.  Yes I was the Giver – I Gave them the Permission to eat in hopes that one day we would all even out, that my weight would somehow be small on a curved grading scale at least.

Then there is all the diets, *Shakes Head and Hides face* now I am not a total Idiot I know HOW to Lose weight

Calories Ate - Calories Lost doing Physical Activity =  Outcome

Lets say I am Being Really Good one day, Only one, because as Much as I like to say I'm an angel, I am in love with Carbohydrates

I could make it through one day and Be all Up on Dieting, and By 11 PM the next day, Polish off a Huge Bowl or Cocoa Pebbles Or Lucky Charms.

BUT I did Come across a Few Cool new tools to play with, Maybe I can Borrow some will from someone else and keep Up the dieting.

Weight Calculator with Calories Per day

Cool Website to help with your tracking

The One thing that I am trying now is Calorie shifting, Since I am more than capable of starving a Few days, and Eating well a few days and Binging Only in occasion,  it helps your body stay a bit confused as to how many calories It expects.

Bottom Line is though, I don’t Hate Jen for being so Effin Skinny, Really I like My body, It may not be perfect, But No ones is, I am the only person who can PERFECTLY be Me ALL the time and you know what, I am Not really hungry right now, so maybe I’ll go take a walk.

June 6, 2011

No Internet + Bad Talent on TV = Early Night


I really have nothing to say today,  I am pretty, what is the word,   accepting maybe a bit tired, toss in some bad mood for good measure since once again, on a Sunday my cable/internet went out.  No way to reach customer service,  it ether rang busy or hung up on you, Fantastic Cable and customer service Broadstripe! I think I am going to screw up your stocks on Empire Avenue if I get the chance.  I did call this AM at 5:22, and they DID have a recording from 2 and a half hours after the cable went out. “we are aware your cable is out, and we are working very hard to restore it , Our ETA is 5am” *Looks at watch*  maybe they meant  Mountain time *Growls*.   I am usually not that customer that complains,  But 2 Sundays in a row, My life has had to adjust to their lack of service. Unlike other cable providers, they have NO customer service on the weekends, and their cable/internet ALWAYS goes out on a saturday or sunday, after the allotted time that I may even have a snowballs chance in hell to get some help.  Apparently some big game was on, IDK, I did not pay attention, I went through and started couponing early, decided to watch some local TV and was entertained by American Dad and Family Guy. Once Americas Got Talent came on, I  noticed, ummm, We really are not clear on what the term “Talent” means.  I would reference a dictionary term here for good measure IF I had cable service so you will have to take my word.

Talent : To do something well, To have the ability do to better than most,  To achieve at a high standard in an area performing dance, singing, Being funny, or any other creative avenue.

Ok that in my mind is talent, to be GOOD, Key word here is good,  and a lot of people lacked that.  There was a 3 some of rappin boys, ages 5,6 and 7. They were cute”, as can be, One lil boy explained how that met “We went to school, and were listinin to da wadio n we started wappin together”  It was very cute, and they were Not bad, I can only Imagine a Lil Usher, 50 cent and Drake coming out in say 10 years. (Hopefully no Soulja Boy, Poor kid had only 12 min of fame).  Being a white girl, I am not going to rap anytime soon, I give Kudos to those that can, My mouth has a capacity to sing badly in the shower to ALL Music, and I am usually a bar or 2 behind on the hip hop songs, Maybe it is because I just don’t want them to end… I am Prolonging the Inevitable, Eh, No I just suck.  I am one that lacks talent so you will not see me falling  off their stage any time soon.  One surprise – a Lawyer was on there last night, in a white suit, this dude was a bit trippy, he was the “Man Of Light”  he proceeded to make a total mockery of the word talent, But in all honesty I think he lost a bet with his buddies and  he had to come up with something to do, Since his talent was already being taken up by being a lawyer.  I have met very few lawyers that have a creative output like Dancing or singing.  Now that may be a show I would watch, Well at least once.  a Singing (Badly) Court TV show. *Grins*  yes it would suck and get canceled, but we all love a show where people make total fools  of them selves, it is why reality TV is so Prominent  in our society.  Most people you just want to smack and say “Hello, Did you parents teach you NOTHING!”  But once again, some of them Had a first class up bringing (which means nothing really) look at Paris Hilton.  Her Stupid girl routine gave her a few years of us staring at the TV,   The Simple Life, Oh yes, her and Nicole were amusing,, but even Nicole probably looks back and thinks, Uh Dad, I am sorry I was such a “Fuck Up”  and Paris, well she has no clue, she could still buy an island and make herself queen, why bother learning if you don’t have to, and by the way her talent is selling herself, I was going to say commercials, but that was Jessica Simpson, yea after a while all the ditzy blondes run together like paint. 

It is Now 6 AM, I am particularly bored and No my internet is not up yet, maybe I can sleep again, doubt it, but I am willing to make the sacrifice and try for an hour.  My body is not used to sleeping at 10:30, so it will  screw me up, for the day at least.  Hope you had a great weekend and always remember you family is obligated to say how “talented you are”  I tell my son that all the time, He makes up the sweetest songs, Sings them off key and I show him appreciation in hopes one day, he will actually do this with Talent. .Much Love and Luck!


June 4, 2011

Sandals Or Sneakers


I have a graduation today, It is on a farm, and today is going to be close to 90, It will be kind of like hell but with cute farm animals (No Meeroos please).  My plan is to wear a new sun dress I have, but then sandals are in order, so if I wear shorts, if I step in shit, Well I just think it would be better with sneakers on, but damn its going to be sooo freakin hot today, and I don’t want to go (stomps foot and throws a small tantrum). 

I dislike functions with lots of people, Makes me want to hide behind a tree, or climb to the top of the barn and just watch from afar.  My son has forced me to be cordial,  he has friends at school and I have had to hit birthday parties with numerous of his friends parents, I usually want to crawl under the cake table, But I force myself to sit there and smile.  As the resident Introvert, I  am great at helping clean up, It takes my mind off taking to people, so I am actually quite a catch at a party.  Need someone to gather the paper (really who wraps any more??) then I am your girl, that is what the Introvert will be doing, because we don’t necessarily have to talk to anyone while doing it, 

Back to the party today, because I don’t have long, Did I mention it is also an hour away, 2 Hours in the car, and at least 1 hour there, My afternoon is shot, I might as well have Saturday and my ass handed to me on a platter.  If it was not family, I would send them a check and call it a day. 

Yesterday I planted flowers, to keep up with the drunk neighbor,  her husband stays home, and they do not have a lot of flowers, but the few that they have look nice,  I tried to have my 6 year old help, he pointed out  digging the holes was not his thing, so I figured he could master the art of covering them after I put them in the hole, well that to was not his Forte ether, Playing with the hose, Now that is a strong suit of his.  To be 6 and not have any worries,  He claimed he is making my breakfast, I have every right to be scared, very scared, His specialty is baby carrot and tomato sandwich (He does not cut up ether mind you, He is not allowed to use knives, he is 6).

As soon as I finish this up it is to the stove to make eggs with the help of my 6 year old (er No Jelly would NOT taste good in these cheesy eggs), then off to the showers and Ill be faced with sandals or sneakers again… it is going to be a long ass day.  Oh and the Drama in SL only got worse, it escalated  and left everyone involved abandoned and hurt.  Now the one who HAD common sense (Key word here is HAD) is now doing bashing on Misc. secondlife websites.  *Shakes head*  I choose to believe that this will all go away, but I have a feeling this is going to be the Internet equivalent of “War of the roses”.  Good Saturday to all of you!

Now sandals or shoes……