You Suck

If you think this poem is about you,

You could not be further from Right,

It is entirely about me,

and my will to Fight,

It is about the classic Moments,

The ones that I made,

But as time slips away,

Memories also fade,

It is about perseverance,

and the strength from within,

It is about keeping your word,

Not willing to commit sin,

It is about making a promise,

About making a Pact,

It is about walking away,

Never Looking back,

It is about finding yourself,

In a world of Mirrors,

It is about standing Up,

and forgetting your fears,

It is about meeting people,

By chance or by luck,

It is about accepting the fact,

That you really suck

 

I’m Sorry I F*ucked Up

I am human, I know this because I Bleed, I cry (Shh don’t tell anyone) and well I make bad choices and hopefully learn the first time around. 

So being the human on the other end of an online avatar, My avatar is perfection, she is my version of perfection at least.  But on the other end, I am a human in my sweats and a tank top, listening to Neyo, Singing badly and well, Making bad choices. 

I don’t always think things out and just go with it.  I am a at the moment person, normally very kind and carefree, but the carefree portion can get me into trouble, since I do not ALWAYS think it out.

So I F*cked up…. It was a misunderstanding, that went very wrong, and I mean the total opposite of what it was meant to, and It broke my heart that the humor in it was not seen.   I am not a nasty person to begin with, especially to those I care about.  I try to make people laugh and at least smile.  Not always the case, Case and Point here. 

So, I apologized, I did many times… I meant every single one,  It was ripping my soul apart knowing that what was to be a stupid, silly joke had turned into a cold shoulder, Hurt feelings and well, just not what I was going for.

So being me, I took the blame, It was my doing, even though the intentions were not bad, It was not taken as I had planned it  and well, as the title says, I Really f*cked up. 

Hopefully now that my apology has been accepted, and we have promised to never bring it up again, we can move on.   They are the reason I am here,  the reason I have stayed and the reason I persevere through the other bull shit that being on any social media has to offer.  

I am Human, I have flaws like most, I make bad decisions, I don’t always do my hair, I sometimes drink from the milk carton and I lie to pass the eye test at the DMV.   I am far from Perfect.  The one thing I can always offer is a Non perfect girl, who is going to screw up at times, one that will back you even when everyone else is against you, I will stand next to you and proudly say you are My Friend.  I do not back down even when it gets rough nor when I look like a fool for doing so, Why, Because I am your friend and I am in it for the long haul. 

Sometimes even when your intentions are not bad, You have to step back, and accept defeat.  Accepting defeat is not a bad thing, It is an adult thing.  If you are old enough to do something to hurt someone, You need to be strong enough to apologize to them and mean it.   If you have someone that means that much to you, the least you can do is step up and admit your wrong. 

Lessons learned are more so when you are at fault, and in accepting your faults you grow, as you grow you can say you have become a better person.

Peace Out

Freebies for Sale

 

Huh?  Secondlife has a market for everything, Including selling items that are FREE,  Yes FREE.  I have to give the people credit, They are making Linden, but how stupid do you feel after learning these items are at another 50 stores for free? 

Back In 2007 I remember there was a store called Wally World, It was a Spin off of a RL Store.  They had hundreds of items all priced 10 L or less.  It was my favorite place back then, I mean Id spend 200L of stuff, Luckily for you it is all still available at most of the free stores today and some Low Linden stores (1-25L) But what makes me mad is I remember spending 600L on a BMW Cycle, Gawd I thought I had the world by the prim balls, My pretty Prim bike, Until a month later I saw it for free at a freebie store for get this… FREE!

 

If say you were walking through a Large grocery store and see a sample of granola bars, Mini Subs or an energy drink,  they always ask “Would You Like to Try?.  It’s a free sample, right?  What if they said as you took it, That will be a nickel or dime?  I don’t know about you but I'm not paying for something that should be free…. If I meet new people I try to warn them but everyone gets caught up when they first start, unless they hang with the “Elite” oldies or have a RL friend helping them. 

I can remember LOVING RONJAS, they were so different so cool  looking, and had so many extras, Like whole outfits and cheap, then a few months later at a free shop I found every outfit I had paid 50L  for what price… Guess.  Yep , They were free.   Another I still see is Boas Boots,  WITH BLING…  OMG you have to be a newbie (used in a loving term) to appreciate the word BLING… I detest it now, along with glow.  Another Freebie I remember was BEST AS or maybe AS BEST and they all said FLEXI.. OMG  Really.. If it is in the description, I know NOT to buy the item now. 

So next time you hit a store with REALLY cheap stuff that looks a bit like the above pictures, Look at another place, this stuff is free elsewhere… It is, you just have t have patience.  IF You want Better e Freebie stuff, try one of the blogs at the right of my blog, Most are Updated daily and not all the groups are ones you need to pay for. 

As a Disclaimer I DID search 10L stores and found some items that were NOT Freebie items,  Some of the designers just want to design and are not in it to make their mortgage, Just their tier. The best way to figure out the freebies from the original NEW designs I have found is if there is only one designer, they are taking and making all their ad photos and they will match.  Freebie places will have a Mish mash of crap from so many designers, Different years and numerous different picture types.  they use the same as the original box back in whatever year it was originated. Also if you right click the items in the box, the Creator will be different per different background and on some the creator is Not even available… To me that is just shady.

 

Back in the day and Ill bet even now, they had business in a box…  They some men's, woman's, furniture, textures Etc.  Most were available at random places for free but were combined and sold for 200-900L a pop.  Thankfully I never really wanted to be in that business.

So shop carefully and always remember, you don’t always get what you pay for in Secondlife, If your at a freebie store and you pay 10L… Your 10L poorer for a freebie item. 

Happy Shopping  

 

Peace Out

Have another, On Me!

 

Ahhh, it is midnight,  What have you drank?  Some of us are sipping on a cup of coffee, others a Soda (Pop where I am from) others, anything with the added benefit of alcohol. 

It is those people we grow to expect the random IMs from, they are looking for that Drunkin Virtual Bootie call.  a Warm Pixel Image in the night, a virtual stroke of the Ego and a no strings attached moment that will forever tarnish your IM Chat log.

I may not do this, but I have a few friends who do.  One is Infamous to just send a Smiley face, see If I say Hi (I have learned Better if I am busy), If I ignore, they vanish.  Another one does it but they start out with idle chat, then lean into it like peering through a window,  then after a while they log off with a IM note saying a shower is needed.  

What is astounding to me is that even when I am drinking, I still, in a virtual world of fetishes, Sex beaches and Fantasies, I can still keep my shit.   I am going to be completely honest by saying that there are a few that are very good at typing, I mean I have had that moment of, Well…….  But I always step back, and I have never once regretted saying no.  It has become my staple, Ok not NO.. I cushion it a bit.  Unless you’re a random dude IMing me, then a bit of Bitch comes out. 

I wish all of the Drunkin peeps well,  and I DO hope they  find their 15 minutes or one hour of happiness somewhere.   I am not totally a cold hearted bitch.  Back in the day I used to hit those “Low” places, just to see what people were saying In local, It amused me.  Because I know damn well the avatar is being controlled by one hand and there is desperation on that end. 

So, if you know me,  Don’t feel like you cannot IM me, I take it with a grain of salt, I do.  Honestly  it is some of the only interaction I get with some on my friends list (That is sad yes)  but the bottom line is, this is an adult world, what I do and to who I do it with is my business.  Although I may not play along, nor do I ever participate in the Alcohol induced pixel Olympics, I have nothing against the people that still try.  If I did, My friends list would be much smaller and well, not as entertaining on their nights of binge drinking. 

So to all you Pixel peeps out there,  Drink up.

*Gawd,  Who took my vodka,  Ehh Shit I drank it all last night*

The Emotionally Debilitating and Draining in Secondlife

 

We all have that friend,  The one who goes from Favorite to Freakin Basket case in 2 Seconds.  The smallest things can set them off, and they don’t seem to recover,  It is as if the emotions have super ceded their alter personality, the one we did like.

These people seem to go in Cycles, Be it weekly, Monthly or quarterly,  But there is a pattern  So when ever that pattern is UP, You are now ether being their shoulder to cry on or trying to keep them sane from their own doings.  If you are not with them, you are against them… How dare you not side with them,  They are always right and you SHOULD follow their lead. 

 

They will claim to be hurt, the victim, or just plain sad because someone, Once again did something to them, But you being the sane person are going to have to recognize the pattern.  They are Oblivious to the fact that they seem to be the common denominator, since well,  In their world and that is the only one that counts, They are never wrong. 

It is human to error, It is just plain easy to learn from our mistakes if we take the time out to look at the past.  But wait, they are not going to do this,  Oh no, because they are the victims, claiming No one loves them, Everyone is against them and well, those that have walked away are the reason for their new found cycled sadness. 

Those that have walked are the sane ones,  they are the ones who have recognized the emotionally draining bullshit that lies beneath, and have choose not to be part of the cycle any longer  They are the ones who are no longer going to allow them to bring them down with you, so to speak. 

Once you allow yourself to  be roped into these people, you will  basically be their biggest fan, but after a few cycles it gets old, you start to question yourself,  Why am I  feeling like this, I should support them, I should back them.  It is like trying to back a Run away train, No matter what you do, it is going to come and all you can do is sit by and watch from a Far distance or stand close, bear the bull shit and damage then look back later and say “How many times is this going to happen?” 

The emotionally exhausting WILL take your energy away.  You will be left with feeling a bit less of a person after a bout of their depression, anger or Victimization.  Why?  I swear they steal it from you, to build up more momentum to keep up their roller coaster.  

So bottom line is, If you have that friend who tens to be teetering on the  line of a patterned dramatized secondlife.  They tend to run from one group to another, they lose and gain friends in a rotation,  They have Lots of stories about being the victim, and still seem bothered by it.  IF you leave your secondlife feeling emotionally weak after spending 2 hours trying to make them feel better….  You are in their emotionally engulfing  sea of pity. 

I read a Quote that said plainly “Don’t make a permanent mistake when your temporarily angry”

Those are words to live by, Keep friends by and well, Stay somewhat sane by

Christion Dinzeo-The singing Prince

It was late one night a few years ago.  My friend owned a club that he was getting live acts for.  I had nothing to do but stand there and well listen.  He was pretty picky about the acts, But threw on another act to see how he was.  Did I mention it was late?

Living in Secondlife every possible hour I was not falling asleep at the PC, and even some I was, I stuck around.  Everyone else left except for the owner and manager of the club. So He sang… He sang Josh Groban, Oasis, Rob Thomas, Garth Brooks, Frank Sinatra and a few Disney songs… I was hooked.  My friend who owned the club had to leave..

Go.. I said, I'm staying here… I was NOT going to leave, as long as he wanted to sing I was going to stay and I did.  Over the years he has  come and gone, I have come and gone, We both somewhat kept in touch. 

I randomly logged into SL to send something to a friend,  what was going to be a 5 Min thing turned to 30 as I arrived a TP arrived, Labeled

“I'm Singing”

I am not going into detail about much except that he is Really Good!  He has a sweetness about him that emulates through his music, He wears his heart on his sleeve.  Probably a bit more cautious now being no longer a noob in Secondlife and seen it all, His talents are far from ordinary.  I Long ago nick named him the Singing Prince, I am sure I am not alone.

I of course sat there, My headset on, listening contently with the 25 other people there,  He has a fan base, I am just one of the many that have found him and not let him go.  I told him I was using him for his body, Er I meant his voice,  He laughed.  I was not joking… Ha ha Ok, maybe I was, He is a friend, and I am a fan of anyone who does something well, regardless. 

So Christion, Please never stop, you are one of few in Secondlife I love to hear, be it country, adult contemporary or top 20, you have a gift that I envy you for.  Your talent exceeds many I have heard.  All the best wishes and success,

Me

Peace Out

I’m Meshy and I Know it….

 

So I finally installed the Mesh viewer Firestorm.  I have been through so many viewers and so many upgrades, If I was a Type A personality I would have a twitch in body parts that have not yet been named by the AMA.  I am usually pretty good with change, although I do prefer Phoenix over them all, I can and do have an option to see mesh now, and I was able to figure out how to search.. NOT loving that it being on the web, a lot seem to get lost.  It is slow as far as loading the response.  I am not on enough to say I am going to be a Firestorm trooper, but if I do get the urge to see something other than mindless Ovals attached to avatars, I have that choice.   I hear a lot of the avatars are Pretty cool that you can get, and even visited a Mesh Shape store.  I guess those are cool, I mean, IDK, I love my shape.  NEVER changing… Ok maybe I am a Bit of a Type A personality.  

All in all, it was a lot like the Official SL viewer, It is not as Old school user friendly, I Hate pictures… Give me words.. I mean I'm not a Derelict.  I felt the same way about Office when they went “User Friendly”  IDK what a Squiggly line with an arrow and a square means, But Edit, Format etc are well.. Self Explanatory.  

So I am a Meshy now,  Only way I know stuff is mesh is by them not rezzing for me, So next learning curve is they are meshy and I know It…

Happy Rezzing.

My Sad Ass Valentines List

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The Gorean Valentine

 

So I’m blogging about the Valentines stuff and get a message.  It is a Friend of mine, who is my polar opposite.  He is Into Gorean stuff, on some high up position, a Slave master, trader, or something of the sorts.  After chatting a bit, He asks what I'm doing.  I say I’m doing a quick blog on Valentines day, Then asked what he was going to do for… [Insert any name you like] 

He had planned nothing, and had no plans…… I can’t do anything he said. 

Me: Umm.. Can’t or won’t?

After some chatting a while it became apparent that not only was he torn, but that he did want to partner her. She was far from the Gorean lifestyle he held, and he said his village (Er whatever U call it) would lose respect for him if he were to partner her.  He would lose his “Standing”

[Insert What the Fuck Look here]

Long story short, they meet a few months after joining last year at a club, some jazzy place.  They had been the best of friends, Let along shared scripted objects in the Virtual darkness of secondlife. 

My first question is… Why stay with the lifestyle if they cannot accept you

Because I enjoy the role play, It is more like a family.. Yada yada

Next Question….. Why is she still with you?

Ok, Here is my bitch coming out… I am sorry but if I am with you, I am being faithful to someone, for ANY reason, they had better have the balls to claim my ass.   I am not asking for Hovering text but for shits sake, Grow a set

Ok, Coming from a Female,  I am going to say…

1.  If you want to play games and pretend your not with me… I can play the same game just as easily…  It is a 2 way street here.  So I feel like, Well, She is free to go and find someone who WILL Toss her a bone and claim the good intentions, this guy is scared to show

2.  If he loses her, due to his lack of backbone, balls.. Eh whatever part you think fits, It will be on him.   Knowing her, she may be hurt in the end, but I know she is not a total idiot and will eventually catch onto his little Hide and seek game. 

3.  I told him if any of his friends have an issue with whom he selects as a Girl friend, Partner.. WHATEVER…  They were not friends to begin with, now were they.  Yeah it is rough when you have friends that may not accept your choice, but really if they cannot accept, is that not their problem?   Not yours…. Who's happiness are you going for here.  I am speechless. 

Sooo.. after a short chat, he actually saw my point of view.  I told him, it is like his slaves he deals with.  If a master does not Claim her, she is free to go RIGHT??? 

I am far from the gorean lifestyle as much as he tries to pull me that way, But common sense is international… right?   Ok, Ok,  It is not,  but no worries cause I am happy to point out the Obvious. 

Soo,  To close the story out, He is getting her a ring,  I wish them all the happiness in the Virtual world, and well, to those people that do not understand, do not like or have an issue,  I suggest you go judge the one person your supposed to, Yourself and let the rest live out their life as they see fit.

 

Peace Out

Love, Jewelry and JCNY

 

So I did a blog on stuff for valentines day, BUT  I went a step Further, 20 Minutes time, I grabbed some great gifts, some a Bit Pricey, BUT some not so much.  These are all JCNY Collection,  I have to say I LOVE their Jewelry and it is well made even after a few years it will still look great on your avatar.

JCNY  has this personalized area,  they start at around 2500L,  But really, Is there a Price on Love?..  They are SOOO Worth it right….

 

Ok,  This is a Mere 5K in Secondlife, With Engraving… Ok , Ok, I know we are NOT all Rich,  So Ill go a Bit lower,  But this is their New release, and Very pretty .. She will Love you 5 K more after, I guarantee.

 

Moving onto to a bit cheaper stuff for our average big spender,  these caught my eye, all priced between 1199 and 2K all very pretty, with a ton more……

Ok Maybe the Athena is Not my Favorite, BUT a lot of girl would go bat shit over this, If you want to find out…  Save your Lindens

Yeah, this is more my style and the ones below,  I Love black diamonds, says I am not your usual Partner, It says… I am special.. Hella lot special than well noone okay, but in my mind, I just feel that

O

Ahh the Princess…  I own Tiaras that would go well with this,  Look em up on marketplace,  You can send one as a gift to go with the new “Princess” Ring… Nice!

 

So you like em a lot, but cannot take the plunge yet?  C mon put your Big girl/boy pants on…. Or your other option is the promise ring,  Still very sweet and sentimental and just an FYI,  the next set will be brought up in a month… remember Secondlife is on a Fast paced calendar so do not be surprised when they are looking at other rings

 

 

Yes,  We all have the poor days,  where we have well nothing but our love to give…  BUT JCNY has a solution,  the 10L rings,  Maybe not as fancy or anything but it is a JCNY right?  very near these rings they also have free gifts…  I pounced all over those like a Kitten on a pile of catnip…..  Nom Nom Nom….

There is a few ways to make sure your valentines goes as planned,  10L can easily be made, and really they are worth at LEAST that much. 

Wishing you a happy shopping experience and if you fine other great places, Please hit me up in world.  Gracias

The Start

 

I think of you and smile,  You are my heart and soul

After all this time and madness, the years never took its toll,

You can read my thoughts as if, they were always your own,

as if time has stood still, with you I am never alone,

I guess it always was, as it is to be right now,

For through all the bad and good, we survived somehow,

Where this road shall take us, where we will stop on the road,

Only time will tell, as todays, tomorrows Unfold,

As we walk together, Beside or hand in hand,

Thank you for being you, I hope you understand,

My life has never been, the same since the day we met,

There is to many good memories, to ever have a regret,

For now I leave this open, as I cannot tell you the end,

But I can say I love you, You are my very best friend

Rise

 

Does my perseverance bother you,

That I am now who you miss?

That I am strong enough to grow apart,

That I can again, rise above all this?

Is there a jealousy hidden,

Behind your heart of stone?

Is is obvious that I can Make it,

Rise above all this alone?

Can you see my that my heart has healed,

that I have no pain, not anymore?

Can you see that holding me down,

Only made me rise a little bit more.

Does the fact I am still stronger,

and a bit colder than yesterday,

Help you define the fact that I, Myself,

Shall rise no matter what you say,

Can you accept the defeat,

Can you watch as time flies

No matter what is said and done,

I will once again rise

Secondlife Dating

 

Visiting a dating service in Secondlife, was, well, amusing….  I am kind of sorry that I did not get pictures of the 30 random pictures on the wall, ( note I went back to get a few)  the hovering text above them and in stealth mode I grabbed Notecard upon notecard to crawl into these people minds. 

Most just filled out the cards in accordance to their Secondlife, Namely

Dancing

Cuddling

Chatting

Greedy

Meeting new people

Others went out on a Limb and stated their Deepest desires

I has a GF, but we are looking for another girl to join us

Someone to love me for Me….

and My Personal Favorite

Sexual Emotion….  I am not quite sure where that one is going but I am thinking of a Stalkerish cyber relationship here.

They also were asked, what are you looking into in a partner

Can be Online a Lot (Must be Looking for the Unemployed)

Loyal (Won’t Cheat on me)

Understanding (But can cope if I cheat On you)

Funny (make me laugh)

Independent (Is able to find things to do while I am on an alt cheating)

Caring (Will listen to my drama and side with Me)

Adventurous (Would be willing to cyber with me and a few other people I found while you were offline)

and finally

Can love me for being Me (I have lots of drama, and people tend to run fast so… Deal)

All these Fantastic options above were between men's and women's Cards as me and my friend (Who happens to be a Member there)  delved into the short list of the same thing.

So here is a List of the questions:

What are you looking for? If this was me,  It is not because my set of pixel balls would never have the needs for more random date requests.

What do I Want,  I want it all, I want the smiles and the laughs, I want the game playing the Movie watching, the Music listening Kind of nights  I want the hand holding, the the pillow fighting, the endless hours of nothing filled with everything and more above the before listed,

Oh One of the questions was… Do you want SL kids…..

Some said yes some No, and a few, Depends

I am a flat out No on this one,  Last thing I want is some extra prims on my lot for a baby, and  really I have a Lil one in RL, why would I want to duplicate that in a virtual world, let alone adopt a 42 year old dude playing out a 5 year old girl with a Love foe Lollipops and playgrounds.   To me this just screams WRONG!

So as I said earlier,  My friend is there, Looking for Er, I use that term, Looking, Very Loose.  But none the less looking for a female that is not a total SL cyber whore, One with a strong mind, good sense of humor, and well, someone who can be their peanut butter to their jelly. 

It is so complicated having to click each picture, Read the Notecards and then saying of yes!   I Like you…. then you click the board and it tells them one person likes you.. But who Oh Hell we are not telling you that,  way to Much TMI,  also, you are limited to the amount of Boxes available there and you are only matched up if you both click like on each other.

While I was there a Male avatar IMd me, SHOCKER…. He wanted a Nice girl to hang with,  I ended up giving him 75 Linden to get set Up,  Now if that is a I’m not interested, go bother someone else, I'm not sure what is….  Funny thing is the one girl that was there who actually IMd my friend ended up leaving with him,  as he said, the few that may have had a chance put themselves out of the running without trying. 

All in all the concept is good, I think there should be some assistance thought with the writing of these things, Most seem like a copy paste job, No thought put into it.  But then, Eh My opinion.

For those Looking, Best of luck and as I told the dude who was looking for a Nice girl to talk to, Once you take away the Males playing females, the Drama Queens and the Cyber Whores, there is 3 Nice girls left online ….. Good Luck!

Loves Defeat

 

Sometime the words, They don’t come out the way they should,

You hide from rejection, Not do things you usually would,

Funny no one wants to get hurt, but we all seem to fall,

We seem to grab a hold of them, and for that moment stand tall,

Cautious and calculated we walk, we plan out tomorrow,

all the while hoping, that it does not fall and cause us sorrow,

I guess some things take time, takes time to share and believe,

Get past the second guessing, the constant Fear of being deceived,

I am not one to tread fast, I am not one to push the bar,

I would rather walk away, than to allow myself to get to far,

So once the words feel right, and once it seems to fit in so sweet,

We may say them in a jumbled mess, accepting loves defeat,

Grabbing for hope, and hoping for them to concede,

Letting out how they may have felt, it is that I Believe,

is the moment of truth, between two lost hearts,

The acceptance of the feeling, and never wanting to be apart.

Going Home

Going Home… it is not always a location, but a place in your mind, It is a feeling of acceptance and complacency.  It can be a Smell, a smile or a person, It can be a Memory  a lost moment in time. 

In Secondlife, I have a Home,  It is what I have called home for 6 years now, It is my virtual escape from reality.  It is whatever I make it, and I do change it a lot…..But even though it is mine, It is the memories there that make it home,  It is the late nights spent talking about music, movies, People and other things with my online family.  The lot itself is not home,  they are.  I could be anywhere and if they are there I am home,  a place where I want to be, a place that I can nestle in and be complacent. 

It is funny, because there is very few people that can take me “Home” but those that can, have always been there, even if just on my list of online friends.  Even when I am not online, they are there,  they are not just a virtual thought but a real human with warmth, compassion and a heart of gold. 

It is funny that when I tend to stay close to “Home”  others ask me why I am so quiet,  I am not quiet to everyone, just to those that are not with me.  It is not a contest, It is hands down, that one person who can make me smile, accept me and just chill.  Home is where the heart is right?  It is where we hang our hat, regardless of the location.  Home is a frame of mind.

If anything, I  love to be home, I love to be me, and I appreciate those that take me there.  But most of all, I appreciate those that allow me to make my home part of theirs.

Peace Out

Artistic Emotions

 

Why do people write?  Sing?  Listen? Paint? Sculpt?

It is a passion beyond words, It is putting your life, your history, you current place and your lessons into a group of clay, Colors, Notes or in my case words.  If I could sing, I would,  You would thank me for doing so believe me.

There is songs that I wish I wrote, I mean truly they are heart felt, they speak volumes of emotion without even knowing me,  They are my Heart songs,  They are when I hear them they take me back to a place where I can remember, taste, see and feel every note, every held note, every memory is some how connected to that song.

Simply Pain

I just heard this on the radio, It is simply put, a moment of realization, the moment you know you screwed up, let something go, or just not ready to let go,  It is taking all the pain and synchronizing  it with notes that blend into a a piece of music that associates anyone with the loss of someone they love, still love and cannot let go. 

Never letting go

The strings in the beginning make my stomach tighten,  It is a song of desperation for me, holding onto someone who is gone, someone who meant the world to you.  It is the death of a body but never a soul.  It is wishing you had followed them to wherever they are now.  This song brings tears of sorrow from the loss but Smiles of the memories… I have a stone in my garden it states “If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven and bring you home again”  Simply put, Undying love beyond any ones touch, words or title. 

That moment of change

Never wanting to let go of that one moment.  Wanting time to stand still, and knowing that time may change, but for now, it is ok, It is all going to be okay as long as you have them.  It is realizing that only that one person can change you for the better, and take you at your worst.  If only we all had that person in our life.

 

Live for each Moment

I could do a WHOLE Blog on Enrique…  Every song of his is good, But this one is such a fun, uplifting song, It is making the most of each and everyday.  Singing and dancing, Hugging and well, Have a drink to  

All of his songs have a message worth writing about, but this one is so Uppy (Is that a Word)  it makes me move, it makes me feel good and it makes me want to go to Cabo…

Let go of the past

This is such a sweet and happy song, it is full of acceptance and new beginnings.  Everyone has a past, everyone has made mistakes, Would you feel the same way if you knew all of them?  If you can accept your own mistakes, then they to should be able to also.  It doesn't matter what others think, It only matters that you are happy with who you are. 

Looking for Forgiveness

Scanning the radio one day I came across this song, I liked it enough to find it and fall even more In love with it.  It is saying you will judge yourself so much harder that others.  You are no more or less perfect that anyone else, Your mistakes are not who you are, only what you choose to become,  You are more than the choices that you made, you are more than the problems you create… I should honestly listen to this song more often,  I sometimes judge people without reason, I go on defense, and well,  I have my share of mistakes, once again, I am my own worst critic….

You cannot tell a heart anything

Smiles…. as good as this song is good its bad, It is a complete mess of emotions, good bad and well lustful.. It is the perfect relationship song, It makes all the sense in the world to those on ether end.  Hate and love are only divided by a fine line and the emotions together can sway ether side.. I hate how much I love you, I cannot stand how much I need you… Balancing a negative with a positive is how all relationships work, It is when you disregard the positives and accumulate the negatives that a relationship fails..

I wish you all someone you hate to love so much

 

Peace Out

Changing your name in Secondlife

 

Now I am not one to point out blame, Ever,  I could yes, But,  I do have better things to do than A. Apparently Log into Secondlife and B Piss random people off because they assume I am speaking about them, and C Try to Remember that their name is now  **^^**()(Sn00K3 K1tT7)()**^^**.

I think some if the social interaction in SL is gone because we were given the “Powers” to make our name,  Yes,  We wanted this,  I mean if you logged in and spent 40K on an avatar, but named yourself say, Rubberballer or SlutForHire after a while the name may get old.

I see it as a masquerade party with name tag on really,  You can see them on your list, But Wait, Keep reading cause they are not who that appear to be.  I think Ill change mine to like Eddie.  I have lost friends in my 220 friends because they changed their name to something that resembled another that I had not talked to and so then the communication communication.  We are still friends but never chat anymore.  At one time someone told me to change my Name to something that was A-J cause that’s all they could see…..They were to lazy to scroll down apparently to look for me.  Umm Yeah, Ill do that.  I am now looking into names from P-Z  any suggestions? 

So this blog whats it about?  Eh, Im not really sure honestly  Just random thoughts and a monster energy that is keeping me going.  

Halloween on a Budget

 

50 L or Less, Oh yes, this is Possible…  Just wait till You see what I got.  Some funny some Cute, Some just Well, a costume LOL

These are from Costume Creations

This one was FREE, Ok not so sexy But it amused me

 

The Female Poodle skirt was just cute and came with the hair, and I bought the Builder Male version, I put the whole box on.. Umm Had a male shape and Skin Included.. Oops!  I can Be a Male Now YAY!

The below were on on SLX 10 L to 0 Linden, the Brides shape not my Favorite But I replaced it with my own shape and Wha Laa – Instant Costume.  All were Complete costumes Some came W skin/Hair Etc, I am picky tho and changed for My Own hairs,  So with under 20 L I bought all these Outfits.. Yaa Me!

Xntra City - empower the Eccentric in you!

 

Well that is the Location Title, But really it is a pretty cool city, Very Umm Eccentric.  My gem there was a factory, that made your avatar into a Robot, I mean you went on this Machine and it shot you ll over, making your avi into this anonymous robot, and also gave you a hud to do tasks for RP, Now that is Pretty cool!  

Location Description in SL

A community of Blank robots created in the Blank Factory to accept quests, battle Mimics in themed combat arenas, and protect nano from rival cyborgs. Tasked with saving the world by spreading eccentricity. Start in the Blank's Robot Factory for av & hud!

Of course I did Not have a master Folder in this avatars name yet so I made it real quick (I was already in line to be a robot)  Yeah Im smart…. But It worked Out Wonderfully!  Check this place out!  Worth the Look around and don’t forget to Get your Robot On  

Being Made Into a Robot

My New Robot Look… Tasks later, But it was fun Exploring!

Enrique, Spanish and Smiles

 

Well Not me so much, I mean I am pretty kicked back, do little but like to have fun when it comes to call.  Tomorrow is my Enrique Inglasis concert with Pitbull and Price Royce… In case you live under a rock they are all very good…

They are in order of my likes..  Enrique (Feels a bIt faint) Umm yeah, He is pretty fukin hawt and umm I am sure a fantastic guy, Not that I go for a guy who only looks good but if I was, I would hope he would be in my selection ..Smirks..Seriously I have liked him since he released hero, then I bought his CD, found the Spanish versions of Escape (Escapar) and was full on in love with Spanish music after that, so this is like my Spanish Concert.  I have been Learning a few Spanish words,  one at a time, the issue is there is Female, male and Group, Single, and I am sure a furry version for those in secondlife…. *shakes my Head*   Yeah I am still blonde, Gimmie another 10 years  

Gracias!

So anyway, I was going to grab some Bleeder seats, since really being unemployed again sucks but these were a wonderful Birthday giftie from my Facebook friend whom shares my Birthday.  We decided to exchange gifts a Long time ago, and funny thing they showed up the same day, Monday after our birthday LOL. I think It worked Out because I would not have had time to call and do the grand gift opening on my Birthday nor am I patient enough to wait…  Grins… Patience is an ongoing thing for me.. I try though. 

I was sick about 2 months ago, was up at odd hours, at 4 AM the behind the Music of Enrique came on, I watched it contently until the Christina one came on then promptly fell back asleep on the couch my gator aid close by.  I had no clue him and his father were estranged, But well, Really did he need his dad, I mean Look at this guy, he has a HAWT girlfriend, a HUGE following, and well apparently his father was hot in his day, Note I did not say HAWT, well LOL he is a bit out of my era…. Moving on. Nothing to see here.

So anyway, Miscellaneous stuff,  Eh, was In SL for a few last night, Hit a club with Player and Reef, Oh and the blog I did a while ago called “Oh Crap Now I remember You” or something like that.. Umm Ha ha Funny story,  It was NOT who I thought it was,  She was there, we talked and are friends again, I told her, it was an Honest mistake, and really were are actually Neighbors by like 20 Miles.  So yeah, Blonde Moment, she was laughing at Me…..

Besides that I have not been doing much Online, I mean seriously NOT MUCH… it’s the Burn out syndrome and I know once its to cold to hang outside with Chelle I will probably be AFK…. OH Oh  Remember the Blog I did On Slave boy… *Shakes My Head*  Well he IMd me the other Night,  I told Him I was going to be away for a few Months, amazing we are not friends but he continues to IM me,  maybe Ill finish that Up but My interest faded since, Well I’m not a Mistress, Maybe if he wanted to just Be friends I would have friended him…

Sooo I will Be AFK tomorrow (Manana) Yeah I got that word down!  LOL  so Ill post pictures of the concert as I can, But I have to call someone and send them virtual Abrazos y Besos on my battery first (Damn android batteries die before I can get a goldfish home… WTH)

This song Melts Me