Casualties of Life

 

We all have a catastrophe  of sorts, For some it is the Inevitable Bad hair bad, Others waking up WAY after the alarm, and others,  Well Everyday just making it work.

We all have our demons, it is how we handle our selves in the moment that count.  Standing in line you are running late for work and the 3 people in front of you are the enemy in line… Right?  Gah I HATE that,  But I also know No ones life revolves around me ether.  Except for my sons, Or is that the other way around?  Anyway,  you getting up late may be a small piece crap compared to the lady 2 people ahead of you counting her change to get gas because her mom is in the hospital, Or the guy right in front of you who has been out of work for a year and praying he makes it to the interview of a minimums wage job on time.  As you toss your money at the attendant, who has 3 kids, used to be a white collar worker but choose to work at minimum wage than let his family suffer, You are your own enemy.   Pushing open the door you pass a girl, who is obviously having a good hair day,  To bad you did not realize she is heading to a funeral for her best friend, who committed suicide over a failed marriage and to trump that, she was pregnant also.  Yes, you are your own black cloud. 

Shoving the pump into your tank,  Your foot tapping, a older man passes you, smiles and continues to walk, you manage a half ass smile watching the gallons fill the tank slowly,  Why is he so happy?  He is in his own way celebrating his anniversary, with his wife today where she is, the cemetery. 

We really should all have tag Lines

“Lost My Mom today”

“Just had my heart broke by someone whom I trusted”

“Lost my dog”

“Struggling to support my family/children”

“Just needs someone to listen”

“Could really Use a Hug”

“Wishes I could tell someone how I really Feel”

“Believes in angels but is missing mine”

Why are we so Engulfed in our own bullshit and are completely unaware there is a world of people out there that need even just a small moment, a smile, just help.

I remember being at a gas station, a woman was getting gas a few years back,  She was upset, I am not sure why, I have no clue really.  I had never seen her, Nor have I since, But the moment I passed by her, handed her a Gas station rose and a snicker bar the look on her face was Priceless.  Thinking about it now makes me smile, because I know that One small gesture meant the world to her.  Ok she was heaving as she pumped her gas it was apparent, But a lot of us don’t show what we are Really feeling, we harbor and hide it, I know most men will do hand stands before showing any emotion, especially if it cues in the word Weak…

Next time you get up, your late, Tank is on E and your just having a “Bad” day, STOP.. Look in the mirror for 30 Seconds and tell your self how lucky you are to have a reason to be up at that Hour, that you have a car to drive to work, and the fact that your life in comparison even on a curve is not that hella Bad.

True Love

 

In the darkness of the night is when those with heavy hearts, with regrets with a lost passion find the moments unbearable.  We lay listless,and with to many thoughts in our head, as if there is a hamster on speed running and running over and over again but getting nowhere.  We pick moments apart, wonder why, where it could have changed and how it can be fixed.  But sometimes it is not that it is broken, it is just that we are hurt.  Time is both a blessing and a curse at this moment, For time rushes for no one, but in time our thoughts will dwindle to concentrate on other things. 

Once in a while a glimmer of hope may happen, but not always does it pay off, Sometimes it becomes the old standby of 2 steps forward, 3 steps back.  We must accept defeat at some point, but only  after we have done every thing in our power to rectify the situation within our grasp.  On the other hand, you cannot force another to do the same. 

While truly loving someone enough to let go, One must also accept that when you do care about someone, it is Not the reciprocal that matters, It is in the others happiness that matters.  In that is where the demons of the night sneak in, because at this time is when your alone, and even if it is a warm summers night, Our heart feels cold and empty at times.  We must let our delusion of Grandeur go, Our hopes for future smiles,  our thoughts of one more hug, Kiss or chance. 

It is not always easy but it is the right choice, and let their happiness continue on, with or without you.  It seems bleak, yes, But once again, as much as those hours seem to go slowly in the night, It is in time that we will see a difference, and rejoice in their smiles, even if from afar.  It is smiling at their successes,  Believing in them, even when they do not believe in themselves, It is keeping them in your heart, even if you are not in theirs.

True love is not always a love story or a romance novel, it is sometimes more like a comic book or a old war movie.  There is No rights or wrongs in love, for love overcomes all, even in the moments where you are sure there is no hope, your heart will carry out your wishes, your hopes and dreams for them. 

In my small years of living, there is one thing I am sure of, it is that when those moments of sleeplessness hit, When I am playing it out in my mind, when I am reaching for answers in a star filled night, it is then, My heart has decided to carry on, with them, even if they do not know. 

True love is not a word, it is an action, and expression and the one thing you cannot part with, for it is embedded in your heart and soul.

The Map

 

Sometimes the answers are not always clear,

The Questions are lingering along with the fear,

Cannot go back, so we step slowly ahead,

Making guesses in the dark as we lay in bed,

confusion is not easy to overcome,

although sometimes normal for some,

Cannot grasp the reality, cannot lay down the line,

There is something missing, It is calling me to find,

Cannot possibly find it, In my empty heart,

In others I search, hoping for a new start,

But the shallow still waters do not assist,

Still waiting for that spark, the energy I miss,

Finding it hollow in this empty dream of mine,

waiting on the stars above to show me a sign,

they never seem to change, just make a soft glow,

The water before me shimmers, I still do not know,

What lays ahead, Nor can I see which way to turn,

It is a unmapped territory, One I have yet to Learn,

God grant me the honor, Give me the strength,

To walk it alone, No matter the Length

Give me a passion, that will guide my way,

One to take me further, than the previous day,

Best of Your Dreams

 

Have you ever had that dream, The one you could almost taste,

The one that kept you alive, It was no longer desire but a race,

Have you ever decided it was now your time, No holding back,

You ignored all the obstacles, Just set your plan to route then attack,

Have you ever dreamed that dream, where your wishes all came true,

It is this one wish I have, That they come true for you,

I wish you every star, Gleaming in the sky,

I wish you every rainbow,  all the colors flashing by.

I Wish you your dreams and plans, all laced in golden hues,

I wish for this all, Because I believe in you.

I believe in your strength, You are one to over come your fears,

You are positive and your smart,  you stand tall through the tears,

You have spirit and you have drive, something that many lack,

You look ahead, no flinching, For you there is no going back,

I wish for you your dream, and may each and every one show its light,

For you are one shining star, In the middle of the night

 

This is written for a friend, They are reaching for their dreams, if they read this, they may even know who they are.  mejor de las suertes