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October 14, 2013

illusion

illusion by dy secondlife
illusion, a photo by dy secondlife on Flickr.
What a fantastic song, To be your Own best friend, and yet your own worst enemy, I try to be who I want to be, but at times, I allow myself to turn a page and become someone who I NEVER wanted to be, in turn I hate myself for allowing myself to go that low, to put myself at such a level. This song is only saying that in finding yourself, You are only an illusion of what you want to be, or I guess at some points have to be. The I am the damage, I am the relief is only saying you allow yourself to heal just as much as hurt. I can say I am a total Illusion, I don't exist as one, I am a multi faceted vision of who I think I should be, although I strive to be kind, empathetic and giving, I can meld into other forms. I have sadly Role Played a Complete Relationship, hurting myself in the long run, losing myself in the process to prove a point. I did that to myself, I AM my own worst enemy, I could have walked away and muted but as the minutes, the hours, the days ticked away, I became them in a way, mirroring them, being them to the point that it became 2nd nature until I had gotten so deep, I was about to crack, Physically, Mentally and emotionally. It was a Long uphill battle after that, One I Hope to Never have to climb again.

I am the damage
I am the relief
Sometimes I'm people
I never hoped that I would be
If I take in whatever they turn out
What's that gonna make me now
Don't you understand
I'm not real anymore
I am an illusion

Rob Thomas

www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2fxpGxd2fE

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