Enrique Tonight!

 

How do I Feel,  Umm a bit numb with little firecrackers being set off in my stomach,  a spark of energy and a permanent smile crossing my face It is the Night,  The night of Enrique. 

Yeah, I won’t be pulled onstage nor am I going to be partying backstage, BUT I will be there an this nasty ass weather cannot stop me from the Euphoria I feel (Like how I slipped In his Tour name).

He loves his fans which makes it an even better time, He appreciates them to the point where he will take some upstage and sing with them and for them, He is in spanish terms *caballero* a true gentleman and has fun with it. *Faints*

gracias mi héroe, Mucho abrazos y besos. Me encanta mi regalo de cumpleaños

The NYC Police Officer! Great Choice!

Your 14?? Really?? Shit! Ha Ha ha

Enrique, Spanish and Smiles

 

Well Not me so much, I mean I am pretty kicked back, do little but like to have fun when it comes to call.  Tomorrow is my Enrique Inglasis concert with Pitbull and Price Royce… In case you live under a rock they are all very good…

They are in order of my likes..  Enrique (Feels a bIt faint) Umm yeah, He is pretty fukin hawt and umm I am sure a fantastic guy, Not that I go for a guy who only looks good but if I was, I would hope he would be in my selection ..Smirks..Seriously I have liked him since he released hero, then I bought his CD, found the Spanish versions of Escape (Escapar) and was full on in love with Spanish music after that, so this is like my Spanish Concert.  I have been Learning a few Spanish words,  one at a time, the issue is there is Female, male and Group, Single, and I am sure a furry version for those in secondlife…. *shakes my Head*   Yeah I am still blonde, Gimmie another 10 years  

Gracias!

So anyway, I was going to grab some Bleeder seats, since really being unemployed again sucks but these were a wonderful Birthday giftie from my Facebook friend whom shares my Birthday.  We decided to exchange gifts a Long time ago, and funny thing they showed up the same day, Monday after our birthday LOL. I think It worked Out because I would not have had time to call and do the grand gift opening on my Birthday nor am I patient enough to wait…  Grins… Patience is an ongoing thing for me.. I try though. 

I was sick about 2 months ago, was up at odd hours, at 4 AM the behind the Music of Enrique came on, I watched it contently until the Christina one came on then promptly fell back asleep on the couch my gator aid close by.  I had no clue him and his father were estranged, But well, Really did he need his dad, I mean Look at this guy, he has a HAWT girlfriend, a HUGE following, and well apparently his father was hot in his day, Note I did not say HAWT, well LOL he is a bit out of my era…. Moving on. Nothing to see here.

So anyway, Miscellaneous stuff,  Eh, was In SL for a few last night, Hit a club with Player and Reef, Oh and the blog I did a while ago called “Oh Crap Now I remember You” or something like that.. Umm Ha ha Funny story,  It was NOT who I thought it was,  She was there, we talked and are friends again, I told her, it was an Honest mistake, and really were are actually Neighbors by like 20 Miles.  So yeah, Blonde Moment, she was laughing at Me…..

Besides that I have not been doing much Online, I mean seriously NOT MUCH… it’s the Burn out syndrome and I know once its to cold to hang outside with Chelle I will probably be AFK…. OH Oh  Remember the Blog I did On Slave boy… *Shakes My Head*  Well he IMd me the other Night,  I told Him I was going to be away for a few Months, amazing we are not friends but he continues to IM me,  maybe Ill finish that Up but My interest faded since, Well I’m not a Mistress, Maybe if he wanted to just Be friends I would have friended him…

Sooo I will Be AFK tomorrow (Manana) Yeah I got that word down!  LOL  so Ill post pictures of the concert as I can, But I have to call someone and send them virtual Abrazos y Besos on my battery first (Damn android batteries die before I can get a goldfish home… WTH)

This song Melts Me

Partnering In Secondlife

 

Being away for so long, I am now finding out a lot of people are partnered.  Amazing what a few months can make, and amazing how things change, Like real life people come and go.

One friend had a party, Proposed in front of everyone to their currant partner, another did it on the DL and said it is a bit odd… She is married in real life and he is not used to umm, sharing LOL.  the other said it is more for a reason to log and yet another said that it was something they fell Into … There is so many reasons and possibilities. 

Now personally for the amount I have been asked verses the times I said yes, Is, well a bit off,  but then after almost 5 years there, you get to see a lot of people and if your nice they latch into you and the first thing they think is Partner Me!  No,  I don’t attach profiles just because you started last week and need a friend.

I almost had a 3rd partnership, Noone knew about, it was with this dude, knew him a long time (Over 2 years)  we were friends first, and well Lets say it did not end well, there was hurt feelings, and honestly I lost a friend out of the deal which really sucked because, well,  the reason I don’t partner often is because I hate to lose friends over stuff like that.  Yea Yea after he was a total asshole he did apologize in his own pathetic way… Laughs… Well now it has worked out for both of us, we are not friends anymore but the moment has more than passed and like with anyone who has ever hurt me, I may be hurt for a while but eventually I do wish you the best.  Once in a while I will get a random IM saying hi, but yeah, as I told him last time, we will never be on a level where I have to trust him so any past issue we had are no longer applicable.

Regardless, Partnering is different for everyone,  It is between the two involved and however they want to see it, Be it friendship, love, or anything in between.  It can go great, it can get nasty, Once again it is all on the people involved.  I have been on the sidelines of a lot of the nastiness.  Sad but I thought some of these people were normal till confronted with a SL break up, then it occurred to me maybe medication was needed and very high doses.  [

I am not one to be nasty, ask many, I am good with walking away, I am better than lowering myself to causing undue stress, and calling names, No reason to, I mean really, what good does it do?  and really I was the best thing they ever had so.. Smiles… Their loss. 

Virtual Burn out

 

What do I have to say about virtual burnout….. It happens, Kinda like a cold  you did not expect.  But it is here.  Mine started a movie night, after  3 Fridays in a row, we liked movie night… it was a cute movie but my  shapshifter friend had plans already. He was itching to get Out, I guess I had plans to really, But I was determined to finish the Movie, After that, It just kinda coasted, They were with their New love, I was on a unknown road of uncertainty with another.  I guess really in a virtual world, It is the people that matter because they are the reason you stay, and when they go, You lose interest  my shapeshifter friend has Hiatus every year august through September for their busy season at work, and my Unknown road came to a halt when the road disappeared Into the silence of nothingness.  I still logged for a few weeks, But it became monotonous.Then there was Nothing, an Occasional log In, flooded with IMS from those who wondered if I was Ok, and of course the same people who had the notion I was the “One” for them.  I have Not DJd in a Long time,  My PC is not my high Priority, My son riding his bike and tackling his Razor was. Doing stuff outside and talking to my neighbors, which will stop as the cool air sneaks into my calendar. 

So I am not on as Much anymore.. True.  Chatting To my old partner, on skype, they gave me the heads up they were partnered.

Him “We are not like you and I were, we are just friends and hang out, I needed a reason to log”

Me “Hang out like we used to In the beginning”

Him “Yeah”

Me “thank god, cause god only knows we went nowhere”  Smiles

I am happy for him, and I told him so, She is lucky to be attached to him, He is honest, sweet and caring.  and If he is happy, so am I, No one will change our 2 and a half years. Kapech…

So here I am, I have brought so Many people Into SL and I am nowhere to be found, Yeah I know, I’m just not right.  LOL,  I try to divide the little time I have there with those I am still close to.  Shapeshifter and I, well We will always Be close as 2 Nuts in a shell, Well we resemble those at least.  and I chat to Player on occasion in IM,  they are not in SL much anymore ether so, It works out to just keep In touch.

What have I been doing??  Well You know, I have been growing out my hair, doing my nails and talking on the phone.  I have been Listening to music and playing on Facebook.  Writing Poetry and well, accepting it is time to Release My Meeroos, Yes I finally did that, Poor lil guys,  they were lonely anyway.

I had My Birthday last week, Went out to eat, bar, but my highlight did not come till monday.  Me and a SL/FB friend exchanged gifts, opened them at the same time on the phone together.

Mine was a Flat envelope, I fully expected a gift card, Eh he is a guy right?  His was a box full of stuffs from Michigan, Sitting in the car, as I opened what I now sure was not a card since it was not credit card Like, I pulled Out 2 lower level seats to Enrique Iglesias… I was shaking,  Tears formed as I was Probably hyperventilating when I saw them…  He just said, Have a good time.  Gracias Mi Principe…  So I have that this Friday.  I am taking a friend whom I used to attend concerts a lot with, She has had lots or turmoil lately and we both need a night out,  The show is Officially sold out, and I hold onto these tickets that as far as I an concerned are golden, Because of who gave them to me and the fact that well, It is Enrique.  She asked Me, How can you afford these tickets? (I was going to get Nose Bleeder ones)  I said, Ill explain over dinner.. We don’t talk a lot due to conflicting schedules LOL..  SO I am geeked, and honestly Not being In SL as much has allowed me to appreciate the occasional night out, the moments of happiness Real Life can offer, and it has also made me reach out to other social networks and talk to different people.  I will be back, I promise, I am a Lifer, I cannot leave, I am just AFK for a bit, But Ill be around tonight.. Mucho Hugs and many thanks for those who have stuck with me.

		My Meeroos VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Prince Charming, Cinderella, Princess Aurora, Prince Philip and HeartBreaker My Meeroos, May they Live in Virtual Pet heaven Now

Real Life Lies

 

So you met the perfect person huh?  They are everything,  You share thoughts dreams,  your day, Your sadness, your smiles and you have that one connection..  They are the “Shit”.  You think so Huh?   Funny I may not talk to a lot of People in SL all the time, But Facebook is fantastic, because I can still relate, communicate and keep in touch with my friends.. But then I can also see the latest drama. 

So I have a friend, Who by all rights is an Eligible bachelor.  He is in his Mid twenties, an artist, taught, plays music, and has a lot great qualities.  It is No surprise he has girls falling over each other to get to be with him.  He is Fickle, and I mean that In the kindest way possible.  I will tell that to his face, No fluffing it.  He is, BUT he does fall and fall hard.

Now he is a romantic when he wants to be, Hence the falling,  He is not your typical playboy, Just has episodes of “Stupid”  as my old friend sebastian put it.

He meets a girl, He is across the world In the UK, she is here somewhere a dot on the map between here and Canade, I'm honestly not sure.  Where ever she was, She was falling to, and falling.  Now my friend has met a lot of girls on here (I am talking secondlife) and I mean In real life, they go to meet him, He is not a psycho killer, a very pleasant guy. 

I remember the one girl he met had sent him Old pictures, was a total lazy ass, and ended up puking on him one day out.  This was just before he took her to his sisters house and she was caught taking pictures of his ass with her cell phone… Ahhh, Its great meeting new people isn't it?

So anyway, This new chick was perfect, She was His Ying to his yang, His peanut butter to his jelly, She was what he had been looking for, and she was moving to be with him.

No Lying is not so new Online, it is quite old, Kinda like prostitution, the oldest form of employment.  But Prostitution did not lie, it just sold its goods, Lying sells False goods for the price of someone else. 

Long story short, His perfect 20 some year old fiance, became 40ish, She was not alone she also had 3 children ranging from 10-17 and well, She was married,  Yep, Here she is In Europe now and she is married with children.. at this point I have to wonder WTF do you tell your husband.

Ponders….

“Hey hun, I just need to get away, saw there was a Craft show In (Insert City in UK) I want to go to, so Ill be gone for 14 or so days, Umm Love you and Bye”

Or

“Umm I met this great person online, Yea a total stranger, Oh it’s a guy and Umm I want to meet them because we have sex all the time Online, So, Please make sure You make lunch for the kids, Kay?  Bye”

I really don’t know what happened On ether side, I just know the beginning and the end result….. If you have No plans to ever meet, If Your married or of you just need a get away, For the love of god, Don’t go to these extremes… I feel for my friend who at one point was totally taken by this conniving Bisch… I mean really,  How do you pull this together… So, I guess just remember, You only know what Your told the truth is in some shaded hidden area and not seen by the surface.  and if there is any reality in virtuality, it is what You feel, and if you don’t believe me, wait for your next broken heart.

Secondlife Premium Life

 

So I got the email, Eh a week, Maybe 2 ago saying all these cool things about the premium memberships are changing.. It is about time,  Crap I have been faithful for how many years now, My stipend has stayed the same…  Really…  an avatar cannot Live on Stipend alone.  Well If you have any fashion hopes and Dreams of a New house you cant. So they give me free Furniture and a sandbox Instead of tossing me a few more Linden.. M kay, I’m not going to complain, well Much.

So I grab the LM for the store and it takes Me to a Kiosk which I buy and proceed to the sandbox… Really No one is there. I think the thing is that most build and chat, and Not all your friends are Premium so you suffer the Griefers to be with friends,  But here it is a Desert, Ok not a desert, a Lawn textured area Of open options.  First thing I did was Open my new folder and toss out the stuff,  Not bad, BUT it does not give me a creator, What If I really like the stuff, I mean I want MORE Like it.. EH apparently you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.. Move along people nothing to see here… so don’t like it to much cause you won’t know. 

All in all It was decent,  Had shadows, and a Low prim count,  Colors Not horrible although I HATE orange.. color change pillows would have been cool.   Hey Linden Lab.. Please see Zen Creations for your next set… Just saying.   So anyway, Maybe now that I have a desolate area to build, maybe Ill start working on that house I have been wanting to make. 

Breaking Into Secondlife

 

Once upon a time there was a girl, she lived in second life… Well not yet really just a visitor at this point.  Any way there was this girl Ok.. She had a account LOL..  Back to topic,  I had at one time found an outfit, It was called racerwear,  it was at this beach, I was  only a few days old, I bought Lindens and went back to this Nude Beach Mall to Buy it and the matching boots of course.  I had Maybe a dozen friends None who were ever online due to  frustration or Inability to leave Orientation Island so I was pretty much on my own.

As I looked for the outfit I had found earlier, I received an IM, Most are random Right.

“You have a nice avatar”

Ok give me a break I'm New I have NO friends and well Hell they seemed, Well alive…..

I took it Hook Line and sinker, But really it was worth it.

*After a really Nice night out he asked Me, why did you change your hair…. On my screen it looked great, Not so much on his LMAO oh and BTW that is the Outfit I bought the day I met him *

Ill call him Blade,  he took me to his apt, Only a few days older than I, He treated like a friend, Offered Me a place to say (I ended up buying a Lot myself)  and showed me his Scripted shower… Laughs… I am still looking for that particular one over 4 years later. 

Now, Being new to SL I was Not prone to know crap, I mean Really, OMG I did Like him, He was freakin adorable,  He was English, Had the dry sporadic, slightly off the wall sense of humor and he was an artist.  I love the creative type,  they see outside the box.. No they Burn the box while painting trees and making Music with random metal objects. 

a side story now, I did get him a transfer gift for his birthday,  It was a very nice leather jacket,  we both got them,…..I thought it was a good gift.  he looked Hawt in it ummm back then lol

Ok this part Is going to sound horrible, I mean Really Horrible, Because I was Honestly clueless.. But we discussed it like a year later and Umm.. Gawd I am so stupid.   My Birthday came around, and we hung at times,  Not ALL the time though I mean I did Not see it as like a Partnership, and in my defense he NEVER asked Me, (Points to You.. Your fault) 

(What I looked Like when I didn’t have Noob hair)

anyway he gave me a ring, It was beautiful,  I wore it the Minute he gave it to me,  OK, OK It was On the left hand Whatever.. I still didn’t have a clue on this whole partnership thing OK!

I remember we hung at a friends house with his GF and also my soon to be partner, whom in all honesty I had been spending the majority of my time with. 

I remember he already had an X then, He had talked of how mean she was and how she had tricked him to  see her and then her friends had griefed and then I am guessing objected him from the land.. at this point I was so new I was Oblivious to all the Drama.  What I did know was how I felt though.

when we first met it was intense,,.. His words and mine.. He was the one who kinda broke me into Secondlife. I remember I bought him a pair of jeans… They were No transfer… Really.. I did that.. Like I understood.. I learned fast though. he was patient with me.  

All in all there was 4 months that transpired and most of my time ,  Now keeping it real, Blade was a Player,  He had many girls that he could choose from.  He had SL buy its virtual balls.with another set in his pocket.  He was not Lets say desperate.   what set him aside from the majority was his creative side.  He was not sending just mundane Instant messages, Each one was a master piece in itself. He has talent.  

Another side story… Get him drinking, OMG  Now that was funny, He may log in, toasted beyond any capacity and his creative juices would be flowing, To bad he always passed out before he could finish a sentence…

So, I got partnered, my partner of course had animosity towards him,  It was hard at first, but one fine day at the sandbox blade IMd me.  “I need a crypt built, Know anyone?”  Umm Yea, My partner.. He is fantastic, and he was.  It took a bit of talking but I finally talked him into making the crypt for blade.  after a few Meets they started to almost like each other… I was happy.

Like real life,  In divorces it separates people.  I lost all the friends, Funny thing, I didn’t lose them, they had just kind of sided with team X.  and Blade was one of them. He loved my Xs building, and after being a group of friends for 3 years, I had become the outsider.   I stepped back, and left the group, I never defriended them, I still had a common bond, But all in all, I knew, they had bonded much more.  Like with Blade, I also lost my closest Girl Friend to the partnership dissolving.  I had spent more hours with these people than most real life friends, I knew their pet names, their fav drink, Their music tastes and words that made them laugh, I had pretty much lost my past due to a decision that was best for both me and X.  Funny thing, I never lost X, He is and always be there for me, We hang in SL, Skype and  poke each other on Face book.  I guess that is kind of odd, I mean mostly when People break up it is mud slinging and name calling.  You will never hear me say anything bad about him.  He is a good man, and when it was dissolved it was the best choice for him and me.  On occasion I will see them Online, I don’t say much, really I say nothing, so much time has passed and I feel like if I did now they would be like… Umm Why are you saying Hi, We have not talked In over a year… That’s pathetic Right?? so I stay on the DL with new friends.

So Ok, Here is Finally the Premise of my Blog, I get an IM from Blade,  Now I have been to his sporting events and said Hi, Asked Him for LMs to his store Etc but never chatted properly to him, It has been very staple conversation as you would with any stranger.  Regardless I was pleased to hear from him, He is not online much anymore now, He has a RL love that he came across in SL… Yea For You!  He is very happy and is still, Well the creative genius stuck in an Emo lookin   body.  I will always remember the English Humor, the silly “Cock” jokes blade and X used to do (and probably still do) and him sharing his art and music with me (Btw Been waiting On that CD for 4 Years now) .  He has a drawing skill of a god, and a mind as warped as any literal artist. If you cannot appreciate the details he puts Into his work, You must be blind. 

Here is to wishing you well my friend, My OLD friend.  We have had our ups and downs, I have pissed you off, and You me, we have fought, screamed and then let it fall off to the nothingness that is proper for 2 friends. You are and always will be My First SL friend, and Un Thanks again for that ring….. Laughs

Lindsay and Blade 2010

Best of Your Dreams

 

Have you ever had that dream, The one you could almost taste,

The one that kept you alive, It was no longer desire but a race,

Have you ever decided it was now your time, No holding back,

You ignored all the obstacles, Just set your plan to route then attack,

Have you ever dreamed that dream, where your wishes all came true,

It is this one wish I have, That they come true for you,

I wish you every star, Gleaming in the sky,

I wish you every rainbow,  all the colors flashing by.

I Wish you your dreams and plans, all laced in golden hues,

I wish for this all, Because I believe in you.

I believe in your strength, You are one to over come your fears,

You are positive and your smart,  you stand tall through the tears,

You have spirit and you have drive, something that many lack,

You look ahead, no flinching, For you there is no going back,

I wish for you your dream, and may each and every one show its light,

For you are one shining star, In the middle of the night

 

This is written for a friend, They are reaching for their dreams, if they read this, they may even know who they are.  mejor de las suertes

Oh, Yeah! Now I remember You… Crap

 

So I was Online Last Night.. Yes It happens…  Smirks,  It started Off with an Invite to a friends party.  Here is the funny thing… I had gone through my friends List and was  You know like skimming it a bit, saw a name I did not recognize.  The next thing I noticed is they were Invisible… Umm Really I don’t even know you and your going to hide… Yea.. so Well I hid from them, If I don’t know you AND don’t remember you, I don’t bother you, Why in the world would you HIDE from Me.. SO I figured I would delete later.   So I got to this party and who the hell is there… Um Yea.. LMAO,  Here we are hiding from Each other and AT the same Freaking Party…… So yea.. Eh I don’t care they Hid first so I was just doing what anyone else would do. Oh and I remember them Now.. They were another Friends Friend,  apparently they never Intended to be my friend… Grins.. I’m completely ok with this, I honestly would rather You Not be my friend if you are going to hide just so you know when I am Online, and don’t think I cant tell, M kay. (I can always Delete them later) Any way, They had a great DJ there (DJ Trick)  although he was playing 70s stuff for the party throwers He bumped it up later on ), I did know a few tunes and after 2 hours the moment that they had waited for was there,  the one friend proposed to the other… Ok, All Together “Awwwwww”  They have been together for 5 months now I think so it was time to progress.  I did have the Pleasure Of My Friend ill call Him Rey coming by to keep me company for a while and then later on in the evening there was a lot of talk about My singledom… LOL .. Why is it so hard to accept that I’m a Bit Picky.  HA HA,  Eh I love meeting new People anyway, and maybe, One day, I will meet someone worth falling for full throttle, but for now I am happy to just have Great friends.  Oh yes, Another friend showed up also, they have been away a lot so it was nice to see them, hopefully they can log a bit more so we can catch Up “Heya Player”…… I am going to start using Nicknames, I have to, To many Letters of names and I am tired of figuring which T Or R I am talking about LOL.  Those that Know Me may know who I am talking about, or you may THINK you know who I am talking about..  and as far as assuming, It makes an ass out of you more than I… Smiles.

Oh One More thing, My BFF is back!   “Hey Love” Yea, His busy time is finally over at work,  He does this every year, Leaves for a month or so and then reappears to join us in our quest for Virtual happiness.  I was  a bit sad last night,  I had to turn down seeing Edward Kyoman, but felt I could not leave the party as it had just turned into a celebration for my friends.  But Ed plays a few times a week,  I am all your then    K.

 

Well I am off for some RL peeps.. which is going to include seeing Cars 2 with Lil one and taking mom out for a bit, Mucho hugs and virtual Kisses.

Peace Out

Finding Yourself

 

I don’t have a lot of time to write, But I feel Like it so Here it goes.

It is funny how you  can mold yourself to whom you are withm then glance in the mirror and then come to the realization, You have become someone who is a stranger to even yourself.  It is that realization that will open your eyes to your next transition. It is that moment of loneliness, of despair that second of confusion that will lead you to your next destination.

We all seem to  have a connection with certain people, whether it is  Religion, Children, Values, Hobbies, or maybe just clicks. It is when you start to lose yourself in the abyss of choices. 

I remember Disliking a certain type of music, I mean it just irritated me to all get out,  then due to my surroundings and the people I spent my time with, I was singing along with the Music I once chose to chastise and had written off as trash. 

I am not sure the do’s and Don’t of not losing yourself, Nor do I have a set path of finding ones self ether, But I believe it is all our job to eventually acknowledge that we have been lost in others choices, Likes, and lost our own.

Making this short, and to the point,  I will take more Long walks, I will stop to hear the silence and I will close my eyes to feel the wind against my face,  It is something I do not do often.  I am going to try to remember what I liked before I was transformed into who I am today, and I am going to eat that dessert regardless of who thinks I should or shouldn’t.  It is not easy being just You, and I am pretty honest about who I am, but then I look back and think, I am pieces of so many people now, all those moments add up to who I am right now, this second as I sit here typing, My style has changed, My thought process and my opinions.  Over the years I have learned to accept differences and not define people by what they are but What their actions say. In the long run, the acceptance has become a staple for my day to day living.   I do not want to forget what I have added On, Never, I want to Know who I really am with out all the assistance of others, I want to know who is this silhouette against the wall, the One mimicking me, the one who only does what I choose to do, the one who does not make the decisions.  So anyway,  I am going off to take a walk,  Mucho Hugs

Peace Out

Making it Our Own

 

Soo I have had a Huge Busy weekend, Nothing much fun to tell you in RL, But Secondlife, Well, Honestly I have been on, but not a Whole ton, BUT I was on a bit Friday.  I got to see a few friends and discuss life, Love, Organisms and Virtual Chaos with friends by the campfire.  Always nice to just chill, No pressure and just have fun. 

I guess the Highlight was a mutual friend of ours (M kay No longer Mutual, Umm not even a friend which makes the story Funnier)  was in like with the one guy there, I received an IM from her saying he was emoting her and she didn’t know what to do… Uh, Not a brain surgeon here But, Just Emote back, Kay?   No, She was  lost.this female was Oblivious to an emote, She was freakin out.  I tried to help her, Explain how to, as If there is a book on this.. Is there?  If so maybe Ill send it to her house, Eh no, She is to frigid, Why bother.  anyway, I helped as much as I could,  she sucked up the little bit I gave her and hopefully used it…. Sometimes… Good story a year after the fact with him sitting there though

Then after my friends had left I had the Pleasure of hanging out with an Old Facebook friend T.  What a smart ass in  sheep's Clothing, Umm Ok, Not a Real Virtual sheep, But more like just very sweet and handsome avatar.  I had the best time chatting for.. Well Im not sure the ambien kicked it and I lose time, But  He said I had not clue you would be this amusing here as you are on your facebook page…. Umm, M kay you got me on a good night, Don’t expect this Everyday!.. Ha ha, But he was good at dishing out and taking shit so It was fun none the less…. R, He would have made you proud. Hugs T, We will hang again soon!

So Saturday makes its way into my schedule and I log in.  R said they were coming on after the game,  Oh, I understand, Sports are much more important than Secondlife… SO I waited, then I thought, U know He needs a Make Over, Sooo  PW in had I jump on, I' IM one of My BFFs and he helped Me make R into the Hawtest dude.. Holy Hell Batman,  I was Like, Ummm, Really.. Ha ha.  So when R logged In, It was some dancing and Music,  Said he liked the new look, and we chatted for, Um a Long time, IDK what time I went to bed, I think it was 1 or 2, But dammit, The night was complete.  I had done My duty to make SL a better and More Beautiful place by making him over….. Did I mention he looked Fuking Hawt?  Oh I did, Lol  Ok, Well here is a few Pics so You believe me.

Dancing

Chilling

Still Chillin

So R.. Thanks for Kicking It with me, I know Downloading all the software is a pain in the Ass (Yay Team Phoenix),  Hugs and hope you liked it. enough to come back again one day. 

If there is one thing I have learned In secondlife is that you make it your Own, It is whatever you want it to be,  It is Your choice.   I have made it my get away, from all the stresses and all the crap.  Once it is My time, I make it MY TIME.  To all those that share their time with me, Thank you, Because I know you have tons of friends on your list, and so many you could be with, But you choose me, Of all people, and for that, It means the world, Thank you for putting me there.  Mucho Hugs I G2g. 

Peace Out

All In

 

We are all looking for that one person, that one who makes us smile, carries the burden when they can, the one who will hold you when times are rough and do a simple celebration  when somehow things went right. We crave to have the one who  will protect us and feel as if we would protect them.  It is called UNCONDITIONAL love. 

Funny how we tend to choose a polar opposite of what we need.  I am infamous for dating players,  funny thing they know I hate players so they chill for a while, they gaff me, then the real guy comes out.  Amazing how men get pissy because we can fake an orgasm.  Yet they are the Masters of faking whole relationships…….

I have a blog called what a girl wants,  Anyone that would like to get to know me is requested to read it, they do and they oblige until it is not convenient.  M kay,,,,,Next.  This is also another reason I do not partner,  I am picky to the point of, If you not all in, or drunk when you asked me,  I cannot believe you.

Awhile ago friend was drunk,  So drunk,  that he loved me…. I was more amused at his Drunkiness than I was the word.  I did not budge, but only stayed there till he would finally log off into  their drunken state.and pass out, Of course forgetting everything that was said.   It is so easy to fall into something, Yet so hard to be all in. 

Before you decide your going to be all in, keep your sanity in check, keep it real and for gods sakes don’t do it because you don’t want to lose someone, Because in the end you may lose them regardless, you will most certainly lose their respect for bull shitting your way through a relationship. 

You may not mean the world to everyone, But to Someone you will mean the word to, Isn't that what the goal is?

Discounted Feelings

 

In a world full of People sharing their feelings In blogs, Poetry and in various forums, It amazes me how some can totally discount another's feelings.  I am not saying having a different opinion, But I am saying allowing yourself to become somewhat familiar with someone and then basically allow them to be hurt by your actions, when you, knew them enough to know this would have an Impact on them. 

I am not surprised, I am a Cynic to others feelings really, You can say anything you want to Me, It means nothing, It is the actions  you take that tell Me how you really feel.  But many people do not have that filter, They take what they hear and they believe, they need to want to and have to for their sanities sake (Or maybe Insanities sake, that Is questionable)  If I say something, You can be damn well sure I mean It, I am not Into saying things I do not Mean.   I have been caught up in a Moment and admitted I loved someone.  I can honestly say I did at that moment, it was a weak point.  Not to discount their feelings, But My love never leaves,  It is just shuffled back into a mass of other feelings I may have for them.  there is a difference between In Love, Love and Lust.  they can all kind of get entwined together. It is sometimes so hard, that I can honestly say 2 out of 3 are so damn close, it is almost impossible to tell them apart except for the long term outcome. 

Allowing someone to play along in your bullshit online is just wrong.  I hate to break it to you, but everyone out there, tapping their keys is Umm … Human!  they bleed, they cry, they feel.  For those out there, trying to string people along, Letting their emotions get sucked into your web of dishonesty  is not only showing what kind of person you are, but also saying what a emotional troll  you apparently are.  I have no time for those who are playing mind games, nor will I accept them as an equal to myself, You have just been titled a “troll” therefore, Please resume your meager existence under the bridge with all the other low life's whom think they deserve everything, but in the end return nothing,

I have a simple saying that’s pertains to every relationship that I have, you have not doubt heard it, But have you really lived it?

Action talks, Bull shit Walks

So if your torn by ones actions, if you cannot understand their reasoning, If for whatever reason you have second thoughts, I suggest you find the bridge and keep walking, leave them in their rightful place, because they apparently are not concerned with how they are treating you nor how you may feel. 

Is this easy  Ummm Hell No, It is hard, but really when were you told life was easy, It is NEVER easy to let people go, But you have to find the strength to muster up enough courage to do so.  This is called Life… We live, We Learn, We Die, so make the lessons worthwhile, because if your whole life your doing the same crap over and over, then you’re the one losing out on all the other things that you apparently did not have time for wasting it on worthless people with discounted you as a human, One with emotions, One that actually feels what you say and only says what you mean.

In closing, please know, most of us are not wired this way, it is a learning process, leaving someone you have feelings for is not easy, but you have to do what's best for you.  If you feel as if you are being used, if you are being totally discounted, If you are scared of getting hurt for whatever reason, that is your 6th sense, Listen to it.   I have spent more nights crying over someone who did not deserve it,  Ones that I thought were really there for me, I may have have a fleeting thought, maybe a sign that told me to run, but I didn’t,  It gets easier as you learn to step back, logically access the situation. If it is not adding up, if the percentages are off (Your 90 they are 2) think about the mathematical errors…. No college graduate is going to put down 90+2 equals 100… Well the ones that paid attention won’t.

TO all the Emotional Trolls out there, I tell you with all honesty, Please go and fuck yourself, Not all of us are going to stay there, some of us are stronger than that, some of us, well, We have learned to deal with your total lack of human compassion and we can read through your lines of bullshit.  May you be hurt only half as much as you have hurt others, because I am sure emotionally your Not stable enough to handle 1 Hun. 

Peace Out

Heart Strings

 

So its been a while since I really wrote a heart felt blog.  I read one today, It was a masterpiece, well written and complimented the authors skills more than I can describe in one sentence.  Most of my writing is pretty playful, Not very deep, an easy read, Whereas my poetry is a bit emo at times and tears at your heart strings, a bit dark and depressing.   My topic today is my social standing, My inability to connect and my guard against any and all emotional ties which may bind me.  The invisible ones you get to another, the ones that make your heart leap when you see them, the smiles that rest upon your face, the fleeting moments of happiness when they enter your thoughts.

We have all had a moment of weakness, where at that moment all we want is for happiness of another, even if it means letting them go.  It is called sanity, or maybe reality… it could be both.  I have a hard time letting myself fall, I fear disappointment, and I run.  maybe not physically, but emotionally I do.  I get quiet, reserved and distant.  I have to feel the other person out, figuratively speaking,  See what they want, need, feel and see, make sure I am  who can fulfill those needs, if my wall is already up, the let down does not hurt half as bad.  Disappointment is something we all have to conqour at some point or another, it is the levels of the pain that differs emotionally. 

Someone told me the other day “Maybe you feel this way because we have not talked as much”.  I replied no, It has nothing to do with the amount of conversation, It has to do with the connection,  the state of relaxation, the whole package.  If for whatever reason If feel as if my heart is in jeopardy  at any point, It will close, I will be there but emotionally untied.  I have no issues with accepting defeat, but to aid my own sanity, I will lesson the blow at all costs before the ax comes down.  They proceeded to say “what if my foot is in the door and you cannot close it”?  That is highly doubtful.  At this point and time, I have already shut the door before you even knew there was one,  In order for it to open again, to regain the trust, the  calmness, the ease that was once there will now be tiwce as hard.  It is simple really.  At least to me. 

Another friend asked me why I was single, since it simply HAD to be my choice. *Smiles* Well I guess it is, because when you have had a very good relationship before to compare the others to, if your not on your best game, all the others fall to the side.  I don’t waste my  time on promises in the dark, Shadows in the corner and whispers in the night.  I will in fact give one hun if it is returned. 

I was in a long term relationship with someone, who no one understood why, it was hard on me, since a lot of people did not see what I saw in him.  They classified him as arrogant, odd, and well other things I would rather not say.  Although we were polar opposites we both tried putting one hundred in, even though it was an Epic fail it was a lesson learned, and I grew from knowing him. On occasion when I see things he gave me, I smile now, because I know I am who I am because of what we shared.  He will always be my past, and I will hold onto that, for it was a lesson I will never quite forget.

Then there is the new people, those that waltz in,  see me and think, Oh, she is an easy catch.  Most leave before they even get to know my favorite songs, hear any funny stories or learn I am more than blonde hair with god given breasts that most people pay for.  I have a secret, Taught to me by a mentioned above,  Logic wins over emotions any day.  Logically if you do not deserve to have my heart, you do not get it.  It is not set out to take,  love is earned, it is a mutual respect and it is something that should be shared, but only in a perfect world.  Have I loved someone that did not love me?  Yes, I have, as we all have.  Those feelings are true, just as much as if it was shared, but let us not debate the fact, that one=sided love is a waste of time if it is not going to be reciprocated.  No emotion you feel is wrong, and every feeling we have is a blessing of some sorts, even pain,  without pain we would not appreciate the happiness once we find it.

In closing, all I am trying to say Is, I may stand cold, sound callous seem to be distant, but the fact is, I am my poetry, every written word, it is my thought's, my feelings and dreams.  It may be about a song, a person, a fleeting glimpse of reality or just my state of mind for that 20 minutes.   If those that had already been allowed into my heart, knew they would lose it, would they have even tried to get in?   I think most are in for the moment,  the race of energy, the benefits and the quest so to speak.  Others, well maybe they are here to say, only time will tell.   I believe in redemption, and I believe in people, I think there is good in all of us,  we just have to believe in ourselves first before we can help others.  So this is my heart,  Please handle with care.

Live artists and Secondlife

 

There is so many talented people in secondlife, I mean really it took me well over a year to find a live artist, but then I was hooked.  Now for me its like going to the corner pub and kicking back with a beer.  So Tuesday I logged in, just for a few Minutes, I had no plans, Just pick up the meeroos that had been born and take off till I saw a name pop up which I had not seen in a LONG time, Christion Dinzeo.  This guy is wonderful, He used to do a few live shows but also hits the karaoke circuit.  I met him 2 years ago at Disengaged, a Live venue for upcoming acts that Dallas Silverspar owned (He is also a great singer). Christion showed up for  a Impromptu gig and I was the only one left, besides the few owners. after an hour the owners had to leave, and he still sang for 1 more.  Needless to say, I was Hooked.

Christion is a kind hearted soul who pours emotions into every note that escape his lips.  So here it is well over 2 years later, He has come and gone from SL many times and I usually miss out on seeing him, But not tonight. 

Me “are you singing tonight?”

Him “Is there anywhere to sing?”

I search open mic and end up at an escort place…. Next to Christion

Me “Hi, Tell anyone I came to an escort place and Ill have to beat you”

Him “LOL, Ill sing a few then we can look for another place”

He sang my Rob Thomas “Ever the same”…

 

I was floored as usual.  He sings country, pop, adult contemporary and Oh, Lots of Disney theme songs.  He has a wide vocal range. 

We stayed till the end,  there was actually a lot of good singers there, then we headed to the “O” where he jumped on the board to sing.  after a few songs I receive a Random IM, Well I received a few, But this one actually had balls.

011/08/22 21:26]   Resident: that's one hot av u got there  haha
[2011/08/22 21:26]  Lindsay: Ha ha Thanks sweetie, How R U this evening
[2011/08/22 21:26]   Resident: i'm alright, just relaxing here
[2011/08/22 21:27]  \Resident: and youself?
[2011/08/22 21:27]  Lindsay: I am good Doing the same, Have a Sunny D and some cherry Vodka and Kicked back Listening to Music, U singing?
[2011/08/22 21:28]  Resident: ahh nice nice... i dunno, i sang earlier today actually, i'm undecided on it
[2011/08/22 21:28]   Resident: can't figure out if i'm too lazy or not   =P
[2011/08/22 21:29]  Lindsay : Awww C mon, Make Me lose My breath.. Smiles.. You have the energy.. You know it
[2011/08/22 21:29]   Resident: haha
[2011/08/22 21:29]  Resident: maaaaaybe i do
[2011/08/22 21:29]   Resident: lol
[2011/08/22 21:29]  Lindsay : What do Ya sing
[2011/08/22 21:29]  Lindsay : If I know One thing its guys always have energy to do the things they WANT to do
[2011/08/22 21:30]  Resident: well, i play the guitar and sing stuff to it
[2011/08/22 21:30]  Resident: yeah
[2011/08/22 21:30]  Lindsay : Stuff to It.. M kay U gotta sing Now I wanna hear stuff
[2011/08/22 21:30]   Resident: stuff is good  ;)
[2011/08/22 21:30]   Resident: k, i'll think of sumthin here
[2011/08/22 21:30]  Lindsay : Umm IDK what stuff Is U will have to Prove it to Me
[2011/08/22 21:31]   Resident: surely
[2011/08/22 21:31]  Resident: =D
[2011/08/22 21:31]  Lindsay : He he ... Pulls Out Pom Poms
[2011/08/22 21:31]  Resident: haha cheering me on
[2011/08/22 21:32]  Lindsay : Ill grab sparklers if Your Really good
[2011/08/22 21:32]   Resident: haha dang, now i really gotta impress ya
[2011/08/22 21:32]  Lindsay : Hmm Yep. Pull Out the Big Guns
[2011/08/22 21:33]   Resident: alright, i'm on the board
[2011/08/22 21:33]   Resident: it's official
[2011/08/22 21:33]  Lindsay : Woot!
[2011/08/22 21:34]  Lindsay digs for sparklers
[2011/08/22 21:34]   Resident: so if you like me, then u gotta add me as a friend... deal??  haha

The thing is, I would have been this persons friend regardless.  Im not a total cold “B” but he was VERY good he sang

Radiohead - High and dry

Kudos to you, for A Picking a Great song and B singing it Very Well! So Next time I am kicking it at Karaoke night,  Hang with me, I am getting quit the collection of great singers to listen to.  Not to Mention I am all for sharing my supply of vodka.

My neighbors kitten

See the full gallery on Posterous

I thought this was sooo sweet

The Reality of Virtuality

 

A virtual place is just that, Virtual, the term Virtual is referred to just that

Not physically existing as such but made by software to appear to do so

So that brings me to an Important part of the blog.  Reality.   Reality is physical, it is more than any virtual world can give us it is that we deal with everyday, before we log into our cookie cutter life.   the one we have planned out in a virtual bliss the one we  grasp when online, the one we hold so dearly. 

So My reality has taken over well the last few weeks, to be perfectly honest my contract is up at my work location in a few days and I have been putting in a lot of extra hours there, going in early and so I have been sleeping MUCH earlier,  when your up at the ass crack of dawn the last thing you really care about is logging in to pet a few Meeroos and type to a few friends who may or may not be online at that perceived time, Since most of my friends are on pretty damn late,  If they are my friends they will be there when I do finally get my ass back on. 

SO there it is…………. Yes it is out there, My Reality,  It is plain as well reality can be.  I did partake in some drinks on Friday, seems like a week ago now, lemonade and vodka have tasted pretty damn good might I add. 

For those out there who Know me enough to actually know what is going on, Cheers and Mucho hugs and kisses, and those out there reading into my blogs as if it is the word of some virtual gospel,  Wrong!  Once again if you read the top of my blog, I blog about anything and every thing that makes me wonder… If it makes Me think, I blog it, I have no set intentions, I have no virtual boyfriend, I have exactly what I had Before, Nothing except a very few close friends who actually know what's going on.  If you pay attention to my FB, I may toss out a movie I'm watching or maybe Tutoring, But  it still is a sprinkling of what reality has given me, 

So, For the record…………….

Here are the highlights

I am Not getting married

I have No clue who “He” is

I am getting laid Off

I am Not a Millionaire

Me and Enrique have not yet met, but if I do, I probably will not have time to blog about it

My Virtual life and reality is Only shared with a few people in advance.

But feel free to fill in the details with whatever you please, because my life seems to be much  more interesting when others fill in the blanks.  I appreciate a  good story,  makes me think, and it also gives me a reason to blog more. 

I was going to do a love story blog, may still do it.  Who will be the leading man… Please feel free to fill in the blanks,  He will know who he is if I ever press publish.

Until then may your virtual happiness always stay where it needs to be and may your Reality not be harsh.  Peace Out!

A Story In Pictures

Once upon a time 

 

 

 

 

The End

I Got Married…. Eh Not so Much

 

So I have been AFK for a while, On maybe once a night to see a live show, chat to a few People, but really, I am not sure if you know this, But Ummm, Summers Freakin Ending soon people… Its gonna get COLD out… SO I have been hanging outside with the Neighbors, drinking Hard.. M kay, Reallly Hard Lemonade and chilling in the sun in the afternoons till almost bed time.. Mm Yea.. It has been fun.  Those that I do talk to are on skype, so I don’t need to log In and kill my laptop battery.  I hear I have this other fantastic life though Through my friends, It is Fantastic…. Let me tell you.

I was accepted Into SL  Harvard

I was nominated for the Nobel Peace prize in Secondlife

I have the Perfect SL Boyfriend

I made a Million dollars and Bought a SIM

and Oh shit, I am marrying a SL  Enrique Inglasis next week we are then jet setting off to Tahiti  to have Lil hawt Inglasis’s before we settle down in a Colonial mansion on the Sim I just bought

M kay, None of that is actually true,  But hell ill take any of the above if you can give it to me.  Funny how one can be AFK from SL, Be on for maybe at best 4 hours a week actually chatting and have SOOO many things going on.   Hmmm People call it information, I call it, total Bull shit.  But Eh let em talk, Feel free to copy paste any of the above attach my name and tell people… I was told if people did not talk about me to worry, Apparently I am doing very well.   So in between cybering my new love, and spending my million linden, I have been in my RL yard, It has grass, I'm sure you have seen grass before, Maybe a few days before you started secondlife (It may be brown now due to No watering) .  I have 2 weeks before school starts, and then I will be back to my normal schedule, My real secondlife (Enrique, Please don’t leave me!)  Umm hope that’s His Name….. Hey, Umm IM Me when You get this, cause I am Freakin lost here… Maybe it’s a blonde moment.. Umm Nah I probably fell in love during one of my infamous ambien moments and have forgotten who they are, and they of course have not written me because they are taking care of their mom, who fell ill suddenly and she is in an area hundreds of miles away from internet (Maybe he is at my cottage where he forgot to call the Phone company for DSL)  but of course he will contact me at some point because while I am sitting out in my RL yard I am planning our virtual wedding and making up names for our Lil prim babies oh and a Virtual dog and cat.  OMFG  I am so Busy!  I need a dress and flowers and  a place to do the vows, Holy shit,  who is going to walk me down the isle… M Kay .Well Heres Some BS Photos If you care to share. As soon a I figure out who he is, Ill attach our profiles… M kay Peace Out!

If You want to Know who He is…. He is Me, I am Him, we ARE the Perfect couple… and Well We are both hawt so Great for Photo Shoots.  and No I did Not pay for the wedding dress Or veil..  amazing what You can accumulate in an Inventory In a Lifetime of playing SL.  Um No you cannot meet him, He is My avatar and well, I made him for just that, to take Pictures with… He was at the time, My version Of SL Hotness… and he is 3 years old now with a Unisex name… Smirks…… Kay… Peace Out!

Virtual Burn out

 

Yeah, We have all been there, Just tired of the drama, the simple pleasures don’t seem to be worth the hassle of logging in anymore.   I think everyone hits a point where walking is so easy.  I myself last night, logged in for maybe an hour and a half, I had full Intentions of putting up a skybox, to the point where I was On top of my main house as a a center point and then I ended up in a 3 hour conversation with Trolo on skype.  That was long overdue, Between him being sick on and off and me also we have been sending offline messages to check in on each other.  I have known people to walk away for a year, Come back for one day then disappear into the grid as If they were never there before.  I am not that person, but I do cater to my own needs right now, and well,  My BFF is moving in across the street.  There is just not enough beer and vodka for the next 2 weeks before school starts, then we will both have to behave between football, soccer and other Misc activities. 

Back to Topic,  Some people dabble in different games,  Maybe a different world similar to secondlife, or maybe a bit of CoD.  It all depends on what you  were doing in Secondlife, But literally what you were getting from this massive virtual world, you are now getting it elsewhere.   Since I am Single, in both realms, I kinda just run from Live venue to another for the Music,  I love the Music.  I have plans next Wednesday to go see Mando again, but this next time hopefully with someone if their work schedule clears Up enough. They said to me, “Oh I think you took me to seem Him”  I remember the night well, He ended up buy all the CDs, It was Not Mando though it was mankind, yea it gets confusing….. So they want to join my  quest next week to hear mando now, and I am fine with that, Since I do tend to stay to myself most of the time. 

I know sometimes things happen that make you WANT to walk away, Break ups, argument, dealing with people who just cannot quit their BS.  I have been Lucky as far as, I may leave for a few days but I am always back, I may hide as my old avatar for a while, not really hide, Most people know both of them, she is not a secret, But less people tend to talk to me there,  My First life is a Bit more biting than Lindsay, But if I am on as her, I don’t really want to be bothered with random requests, Offers and cyber requests.  So what do You do when Virtual burnout kicks in?  I am not burned out, I am just using my time more effectively and spending it outside… I may get a darker shade of pasty now… Hey it could happen…. I know once things settle down for me In RL Ill be back, Chatting to My Friends,  Hitting all the Good sales and well Just enjoying my Virtual Paradise.. Until then RL has called and told me to get my sun on.