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February 22, 2012

I’m Sorry I F*ucked Up

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I am human, I know this because I Bleed, I cry (Shh don’t tell anyone) and well I make bad choices and hopefully learn the first time around. 

So being the human on the other end of an online avatar, My avatar is perfection, she is my version of perfection at least.  But on the other end, I am a human in my sweats and a tank top, listening to Neyo, Singing badly and well, Making bad choices. 

I don’t always think things out and just go with it.  I am a at the moment person, normally very kind and carefree, but the carefree portion can get me into trouble, since I do not ALWAYS think it out.

So I F*cked up…. It was a misunderstanding, that went very wrong, and I mean the total opposite of what it was meant to, and It broke my heart that the humor in it was not seen.   I am not a nasty person to begin with, especially to those I care about.  I try to make people laugh and at least smile.  Not always the case, Case and Point here. 

So, I apologized, I did many times… I meant every single one,  It was ripping my soul apart knowing that what was to be a stupid, silly joke had turned into a cold shoulder, Hurt feelings and well, just not what I was going for.

So being me, I took the blame, It was my doing, even though the intentions were not bad, It was not taken as I had planned it  and well, as the title says, I Really f*cked up. 

Hopefully now that my apology has been accepted, and we have promised to never bring it up again, we can move on.   They are the reason I am here,  the reason I have stayed and the reason I persevere through the other bull shit that being on any social media has to offer.  

I am Human, I have flaws like most, I make bad decisions, I don’t always do my hair, I sometimes drink from the milk carton and I lie to pass the eye test at the DMV.   I am far from Perfect.  The one thing I can always offer is a Non perfect girl, who is going to screw up at times, one that will back you even when everyone else is against you, I will stand next to you and proudly say you are My Friend.  I do not back down even when it gets rough nor when I look like a fool for doing so, Why, Because I am your friend and I am in it for the long haul. 

Sometimes even when your intentions are not bad, You have to step back, and accept defeat.  Accepting defeat is not a bad thing, It is an adult thing.  If you are old enough to do something to hurt someone, You need to be strong enough to apologize to them and mean it.   If you have someone that means that much to you, the least you can do is step up and admit your wrong. 

Lessons learned are more so when you are at fault, and in accepting your faults you grow, as you grow you can say you have become a better person.

Peace Out

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