I cannot beat the same horse over and over again, so I am off on a different topic.
Missed Opportunities, Lost time and Memories that may stay with you.
8 Years ago I had started a new Position, I was Not new there, but still needed my Email set up, and at best I acted Like a bitch, It took 2 weeks… I mean come on, really 2 freakin weeks, Unacceptable. The IT guy finally showed Up, He was not your normal geek of a IT guy, he was, Long haired, laid back, Brown eyes that looked through you, and a smile that, Well, It worked well for him, He hated me. *Giggles*
I did feel very bad for being a Bitch, I was not one but really needed to work, and email was the only way to get and send things, so I promised him a long island in return for harassing him so much. From then on we were at the mercy of life, I say that because Life happened, and Ultimately, We were separated by choices made, Truths Never shared, and bottled Up emotions that never seemed to make their way to the surface.
We were the couple that held hands, Drank and chatted for hours at restaurants and Walked through the late Night K Mart in the Middle of the night. Laughter and contentment were always on hand, We kept each moment we got good because somehow we knew, it was not going to be forever. It wasn’t, It was about a year, a bit less.
Twisted is life, when you by chance meet someone, who holds your interest, One that makes you want to Learn new things (For me it was NASCAR) Not so sure what it was for him, But what I do know is laying on the couch watching a movie, Never felt better, than with him.
Time goes by, Life happens and we all move on, Or do we?
Sometimes things happen, and make us look back on those things that maybe we never finished, that one diamond in a rough that you always knew was more shiny than any you had ever seen.
I am not the emotional type, as you can probably tell By my Blogs, But my Poetry says it all, I am a wimp inside, I hold things in, till they hurt enough to become words on paper, and for a year, I was sad we had to say good bye, it was sudden, and not something ether of us wanted, but we both accepted.
Time marches on and so does life and even though it is happening, I would hear “Silent Lucidity” or see the race on and get that twinge in my stomach, it always made me smile, No hard feelings, Only regret, It was at best, wonderful, and at worst, still memories to make me smile.
Let me say the phone is the best Invention ever, It keeps people in contact, or puts them back into contact when the time is needed, and when My phone rang 3 years later, I was stunned to hear his voice, it was calming, sweet and it was my Charmer, that IT guy who hated me, the one who thought I was a pain in the ass, the one who stole my heart and moved away, the one who laughed at my jokes, Played Guitar naked, and made me feel like I was complete in the morning before work. (He Knows I am writing this BTW)
2 years ago I went to Cleveland, it was for a concert at the Q with a fiend, He showed Up at the hotel at 7 am, Umm yea, we were hung over and not inviting anyone up to the room *Laughs*. When I went downstairs, He stood there with his Dale Earnhart Jacket and put it on me, gave me a hug and said “It always Looked Better On you”, I Loved Him in that jacket, I am not sure why, but it was Him. but I was not above accepting gifts ether since I wanted it so bad, It brought back so many memories.
Today I spent Lunch chatting to him, For 3 Hours… It was a Long Lunch. For the first time we were completely honest, I guess after all this time has past, It is easier to say the things you wanted to back then. We both were trying to protect ourselves from Hurt, and we both felt the same about each other, He said after all tis time, he has met people with Pieces of what he is looking for, but that it was pointless, since I was the whole package. I told him, I thought He just Liked me, and not that Other L word.
Although We may not be Close since he is 3 hours away, I feel Closer to him that I ever have, and I know he to me. We will deal with the other stuff as it comes, and when He can, He will jump Into my Virtual World of Secondlife, Which he seemed to enjoy a lot. I guess what I am trying to say is, Sometimes you have to deal with the crap of life before the good things come, and sometimes it goes in a way that you don’t even see coming. He said to me if he knew how I had felt, that we would have been married and had a few kids by now…… How was I to know. One day at a time is best, and a slow progression. But for right now, I am Complete knowing that the IT guy who would Never dance with anyone, at any time, Will always slow dance with me.
Chaser Heslop – SecondLife
No comments:
Post a Comment